Hi, my name is Reuben91!
Hi my name is Reuben91
I’m a 29-year-old autistic man and I struggle socially in many ways, mainly because the ways I feel comfortable socialising are not as easy as a neurotypical (non-autistic). I’ve always lived with a lot of anxiety, and over the course of my life, I’ve been through some social trauma as well. Of course, when you have autism yourself, you’d be more susceptible to the social world. I’m not someone who can just interject into a conversation between many people on social networking websites.
I can remember how I felt at school, surrounded by so many others in my peer group, I just didn’t want to get involved. However; just because I didn’t get involved in school didn’t mean I wanted to be alone, far from it. I always felt alone and lonely, I just wandered the playground at school on my own, left to my own shadow and analytical mind. I always felt older than everyone else, I saw their childish games of running around the playground to be a waste of energy. I wanted to talk about life with them, but they didn’t. I was bullied to no end, so I just wanted to wait till I got home to ‘drown my mind’, as I’d call it, in video games.
I find it extremely difficult to find the right setting to get to know a single woman. Looking beyond this current chaos we’re living in at the moment. Looking to the past, as well as the future, I know I’m not able to cope with noisy environments such as pubs, clubs, bars, etc. I’ve also tried online dating websites, pen pal adverts, social networking, even forums, you name it, I’ve tried it, but nothing ever seems to work… My situation is quite complex as well and difficult to express entirely, since my mother has disabilities of her own, including anxiety, lipoedema and arthritis. Neither of us can drive either, so my options are extremely limited.
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I can only really cope with writing to a woman one-to-one, I can’t cope on the telephone, certainly not until I get to know them long enough to grow comfortable, even then, it would have to be a gradual process. Even meeting her would take a long time, to grow comfortable with each other. When you’re autistic, the social world is not only a minefield, it also feels more like attempting to climb Mt. Everest.
I don’t know if you’d be able to provide advice or not, or if you or someone you know would like to write to me?