Dealing with anxiety

RAwarrior

@Msbettyboop
Hello, I have come across an excellent gardening channel on YouTube called The Allotment Channel. It is so relaxing to watch. There are so many hints and tips about what to plant, when and where. The channel is run by a man called Sean who gives really good gardening advice and I find it therapeutic to watch. Someone else told me about the channel and I have found it really useful to watch. It might interest all those keen gardeners?

Chloe_Alumni

Thank you for your kind words @RAwarrior, I'm so glad you have found the community a supportive place.

It's great to see everyone's suggestions.

Msbettyboop

@RAwarrior thank you for the suggestion, I shall definitely look that channel up! 

RAwarrior

Hi @Chloe_Scope,
You’re welcome and it might sound strange but to come across a community that despite their own problems, actually tries to help others was a shock to me and it has no bearing on the members of the online community but I had become so used to trying to defend myself and I felt very alone. I had become so disillusioned because of having my health ruined not because of my Rheumatoid or Osteoarthritis which although they have had huge impact on my health especially the Rheumatoid, I now have mental health issues which I didn’t have before as a direct result of being bullied and harassed at work for several years on a daily basis with the bullying being covered up by management. 

I know what the treatment is for RA and OA and I have been under the care of an excellent Rheumatology Team. However, with mental health issues I honestly don’t know what the treatment is and I am very grateful to read about other people’s coping mechanisms and suggestions. 

 I didn’t ask to be bullied but I was an easy target.  I now have to live with the legacy of this in addition to my physical disabilities. 

However, the online community has given me the opportunity to say how I feel without fear of retaliation because the bully is still employed so I could never ever feel comfortable in participating in anything about disability at work because I would be identified and fearful for what would happen. It is a pity because I could make contributions however, I just keep quiet because I know  the bully will be protected at all costs. 

Workplace bullying can be devastating for anyone but when it is done to someone who is disabled and has more than enough to deal with then it ruins lives. Another problem is that I was alone because although the bully picked on disabled staff, the others buried their heads in the sand and actually  told me that although they knew what the bully was doing to me because they hadn’t bullied them they would not back up my complaints when I tried to get help to stop it! It really was a case of “I’m alright Jack”. Well I wasn’t and I have never recovered.

Life can be hard enough for disabled people and all I wanted was to do was to do a good job and earn a living instead I was subjected to being bullied and harassed.
 

As I have already stated, I wish people would think before they target someone who is disabled because there can be serious consequences. Many bullies are cowards which is why they target people who they deem to be vulnerable. The bully knew nothing would ever be done  about their behaviour because whenever anyone tried to challenge their  behaviour  the bully would make a vexatious complaint and nothing would be done. 

To end on a positive I am grateful that I found this community and I apologise if I have been too open about my feelings however, workplace bullying is a major barrier to many disabled people from staying in employment because it is easier to ignore the bully than to stop the bullying. I felt like why couldn’t I just be left alone to do my job? I wasn’t employed to be ridiculed and humiliated.  I couldn’t face going to an Employment Tribunal but in hindsight it might have been better because it would have been interesting to find out what the judge would have thought about the bully closing the door in my face whilst I was carrying a hot drink! I simply didn’t have the energy left to go to a tribunal. A huge thanks to everyone in this online community and to Scope for having such an important outlet for people who do want to help rather than harm each other ?

RAwarrior

Hi @ Msbettyboop,
You’re welcome ?It is a very interesting channel with so much stuff on from growing plants from seed, vegetables, herbs and flowers. It covers the whole gardening year. 

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Adrian_Scope

Hi @RAwarrior. Your experience of workplace bullying sounds awful, but I'm really glad you found our little community. I hope we'll continue to be a supportive outlet for people in similar situations to yours and I hope you'll stick around and keep talking to us!  

RAwarrior

Hi @Adrian_Scope,
Thank you for your kind words and support. Unfortunately my experience was dreadful and I felt very isolated because nobody would do anything to help me as many people were scared that the bully would make a vexatious complaint about them. 

Although the bully is at another location I have not recovered from my ordeal. I was so proud about how I dealt with my diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis which as many people will know is a very serious disease and I managed to remain in work when unfortunately many people are forced to give up work. I was doing a good job, I was conscientious and my Rheumatologist was really pleased with my attitude. In my case like in most cases the cause of my RA was unknown. However, what I didn’t bank on was on going on to suffer from PTSD as a direct result of years of mental torture at the hands of the bully. I had managed to cope with having both RA and OA yet through no fault of my own I ended up with PTSD.  The PTSD in many ways can be far worse than the pain I suffer from because of my RA and OA. Nobody should be allowed to made vexatious complaints in order to justify their behaviour. The bully never wanted to do any work and tried to disrupt other people but when they didn’t dance to the bully’s tune, the bully would target them. Unfortunately bullying is something which many managers will not address but it can devastating for someone who is disabled and already struggling to cope with their disability
 I am grateful for the support I have had from this wonderful community. It is a refreshing change and I hope I can help others by contributing.
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leeCal

Another method of dealing with anxiety promoted by some professionals is to stay in the situation or remain facing the cause of anxiety whilst attempting to lower anxiety by one or more methods already covered. This can be effective we’re told but I wonder how many of us could use this method, especially if alone.  I think it would very much depend on the cause of the anxiety.

RAwarrior

@Msbettyboop
I came across another really good gardening channel on YouTube called Good Life Permaculture and there are lots of great gardening hints and tips. I don’t want to turn this thread into a gardening one however, if there is one thing that I would say helps me to deal with my disability it is gardening. However, because I am unable to do many things in the garden because of my physical disabilities, I am always looking for easier and simpler ways to do things in the garden. I have found some really great ideas on some of the YouTube channels. ??

LouiseH

@leeCal I tried something similar this morning when I was trying to get back to sleep. It helped a bit.

leeCal

Hi @LouiseH was it the counting breaths that you tried or something else?

LouiseH

Hi, @leeCal it was the counting breaths but I found 10 far too long for me. So I just breathed in and out and counted it as I went rather than trying to do so many breaths.