Help and advice for my children - Anxiety, SPD, ASD

Emma4Lucy

Hi hi guys I’m Emma mum to Ben 18 very slightly on the spectrum and mum to Lucy 13 spd and Asd. Bens issues are not that bad he has more physical disabilities but Lucy is finding things hard at the moment. Need some help and any advice greatly received ❤️

poppy123456

HI and welcome,

What help and advice would you like, if you can give you some more information then someone maybe able to help.

Emma4Lucy

I’m worried about my daughters return to school as my son is vulnerable and we have been shielding but most of all how she will cope with social distancing and all the changes at school. If I ask her atm how she feels she says she’s not going ?and at the moment I can hardly get her out of her room?❤️

poppy123456

You say your son is vulnerable, did he receive the NHS shielding letter? If he didn't then he's not on the at most risk list. In England the shielding for those on this list ends in the next few days.

Having said that, there are a lot of people that live with the most vulnerable people and they have continued to work all through lockdown, with no harm done to their loved ones. They've been able to do this because of the strict hygiene that they have kept to when returning from work.

I know it's all very scary but the virus isn't going to go away, it's here for the foreseable future and we have to learn to live the new normal.

I'm sorry your daughter is feeling this way and it's perfectly understandable. Try and stay possitive towards her, rather than negative and she will hopefull begin to understand.  Children are the least at risk so that's a very good thing.

To be honest, i don't think that the media helps at all, all they do is make people even more worried than they already are.

Emma4Lucy

We are in Scotland and we are behind u guys and yes we get a letter. I obviously don’t show her I’m nervous. I wanted advice on how to help her overcome her anxiety.

chiarieds

Hi @Emma4Lucy - Welcome to the community, Emma, & thank you for joining. Has your daughter's school informed you of the measures they will likely be putting into place when she returns to school? I'm sure they will be most careful. My youngest granddaughter, now 12, returned to school for a few hours a week recently. They had 3 pupils each in one corner of the room, & the teacher in the other, for example. Perhaps if you find out what her school is doing & discuss it with her, that may help alleviate both of your concerns.

poppy123456

My daughter has social anxiety, Autism and a learning disability. I totally understand the anxiety she has for returning back to school. My daughter is 19 and still a student, like your son she also lost everything she had, including her support worker.

When the shops opened, she came with me once to do the weekly food shop and i've never seen her that bad, when we returned to the car she cried and she was shaking with fear.

After that i took her out for walks where i knew it would quiet. From there she was able to get used to being outside again, after so long being locked up inside. I took it slowly and increased the length of time we were out each time. Then i changed location and took her somewhere, where i knew it was going to be more busy and did the same thing over and over again. Finally, i took her to the shops, more people, queues etc etc. She's still anxious and she doesn't often go out with me but it's a start.

I think alot of children are going to be scared to return to school and i'm sure the teachers will be fully aware that there will be more anxiety.

Speak to her teacher when the school opens and tell them how she is and all about her anxiety and i'm sure they will also do their best to reasure all the children. I hope this helps.

Emma4Lucy

The school isn’t the best tbh there’s not a lot of help for lu at all there not heard a peep yet but will ask. X Scotland seem behind quite abit but yet our kids are going back early I don’t understand the logic spoze it’s so people Can go back to work ?

poppy123456

Personally,i think things have to start to return to normal or the new normal at some point. We can't lock ourselves away forever. My advice would be to start with baby steps with your daughter and increase them gradually.

Claire_Alumni

Hello @Emma4Lucy & welcome to the community . I am a Coordinator for Scope Activities for all in Leeds and I understand that majority of parents are anxious about the new normal but I am glad you are trying to be as normal as possible for your daughter and son. Scope recently wrote some advice and helpful information on returning to school- https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/returning-to-school-coronavirus/. I hope this is useful and I agree with speaking to her teacher or school senco and build in steps gradually to help her return to school Hope this is useful.