New Application For PIP - Advice or Experience Needed

depressedmum09

Hi, Im new here and Im hoping someone could put my anxiety at rest. Im a 31 year old female whos life feels like its over.
I initially applied for pip on 10th March 2020 and had my telephone assessment with IAS yesterday.
I am applying for PIP because my bipolar, depression and anxiety has become unmanageable and its ruining my life. 
I have attempted suicide twice in 6 months, i cant leave the house without having a severe panic attack, my manic episodes are now at once a month. I dont eat or wash and basically unless my friends literally force me in the shower or to eat something it doesnt happen. 
I am so worried about the outcome of the assessment. As soon as my phone rang, i almost didnt answer because i could feel my heart racing and nausea coming. However, i did and i could hardly breathe. I couldnt stop crying and it was all just a blur. It only lasted 38 minutes. The lady on the phone was so lovely, she kept telling me to try and breathe and she would get through it as quick as possible because she knew it was causing me destress. She didnt ask me any questions other than what I put on the original form apart from have you ever worked. I told her ive worked my whole life until my mum died 2017, thats when all my problems started. She asked what i did for a living and i explained i was an engineer. She seemed surprised by it. I dont see why that was relevant? But reading other stories it seems if you had a good job somehow you a capable of working etc (if that makes sense)
Anyway, i barely got through the assessment, the crying and not being able to breathe was a horrible experience but now im just worried because it was only 38 minutes.
I received the text from DWP this morning to say they have my report. I cant even bring myself to call them and ask for the report. Nothing in my life goes well, everything always seems to go against me so I dont think I could take another blow of being let down. 
Has anyone had any experiences like mine? A short assessment and the report being sent in less than 24 hours? 
Im sorry for rambling on but after reading other posts, everyone seems so helpful so i thought ide see if I can put my anxiety at rest. Thanks xx

chiarieds

Hi @depressedmum09 - I just wanted to welcome you to the community. I'm sorry to read about your mental health issues, & wondered if you have any support for this?

As far as your PIP assessment went, it's very difficult to know what the outcome may be, I wish I knew! It seems however that you had a sympathetic assessor, who appreciated your obvious distress, & said she was trying to go through the questions quickly.. As you're not currently working, I wouldn't read much into a question about previous employment.

If you don't mind I'd like to ask a member of the Scope team for their advice. @Adrian_Scope or @Chloe_Scope please will you advise here, thank you.

mk2000

I had a bad experience i suffer mental health I had a rude very nasty man who was not sympathetic and he wrote lies on my report youbshould ask for the report back

steve51

Hi @depressedmum09

Good Afternoon it’s great to meet you today?

I am one of a team of Community Champion’s here at Scope.

We have got a “Member” who is very very good when it comes to “Benefits”
I will forward your post onto her straightaway for you.

Hi @poppy123456
Can you please help me with this “Benefit Post”

We have got more “Senior Members”  who I will be able to help/support you with your ongoing problems/needs. 

Hi @Richard_Scope @Adrian_Scope @Chloe_Scope
Can you please offer me some help with this post????

I have found you some great info/support on “Bipolar”

http://www.bipolaruk.org.uk/

Please please contact Samaritans 116 123 ASAP if things become difficult again.

Here’s “Scopes” contact details: 
0808 800 3333 if you need some more help.

Please please come back to me if you need any further help/support????

@steve51

depressedmum09

Hi @chiarieds, I have support, I am on lithium and mirtazapine medication to treat my bipolar, I have diazepam for my anxiety attacks. I was receiving psychotherapy therapy prior to the lockdown but none since as they was not able to do my sessions over the phone. I am mainly under the care of my GP, however, I do have access to my psychiatrist should I need him for emergencies. (I.e. if my bipolar kicks off my friends can call and he usually sorts something out).
I feel for the first time since my diagnosis, that I am losing control of everything. My condition is worsening and I am terrified. I dont whether its because my psycotherapy has been temporarily stopped due to covid or whether my medications need changing. Having PIP would help me tenfold, I would really love to be able to afford to have just one private psychiatric appointment, explain everything and see from a different (paid) insight whether I am receiving the best treatment both medication and therapy that would help me. (I feel with the NHS you dont get such dedication because they are so strained)
I need to get back to at least a new normal state so I can be the mum my children deserve to have. Its heartbreaking because I know they miss out on so much because of my illness. 

depressedmum09

Hi @mk2000 sorry you had a bad experience, like I said the lady I spoke to was lovely, she couldnt have been more understanding and didnt cause me any undue stress on top of what I was already feeling because of the phone call in general overwhelmed me massively. I have developed the bury your head in the sand approach in recent years, to stop the feelings of being let down or disappointed, thats the reason I dont want to ask for a report incase its not what I want to hear. I know that sounds daft to some but I cant help it.

mk2000

Ye some asessors pretend to be nice he was saying he was sorry but he has lied all over my report you need to ask for it back but hopefully you got a nice one luckily X

depressedmum09

@steve51 Thanks so much for your help x

steve51

Hi @depressedmum09

No probs it’s my Pleasure ??

Please let me know if there’s any help/support that I can offer you if you still feel like you are “Losing Control”

@steve51

cupcake88

@depressedmum09 hi there and welcome . I suffer with anxiety , ocd and ptsd psychosis . Im
on quatiapine and sertraline. I’m also under a mental health team all tho our illnesses are different I can still relate and understand all what you have said . 

I had my phone assessment on Monday . And she didn’t asked what I worked as . But she asked if I worked and when was the last time ect and why did I stop ect . Mines went on for nearly 2 hours it was really horrible I kept passing the phone to my partner lol as I couldn’t speak to her I was to anxious she was asking questions that took my mind back in a place I didn’t want to be . My illlness came after I was in a very abusive relationship where he almost killed me . She asked bout when I spent time in a women’s refuge and how long I had support from women’s aid this was like Yeats ago so I duno why she needed to know that but that was hard to have to answer that was so hard . 

Oh wow that is quick when did you have your phone assessment sorry ? I’m not sure who mines was with . 

Does that mean you can request the report for them to post to you or will they tell you over the phone . I actually said to my partner can you open the letter as I don’t think I can do it as I understand where your comming from do you have a partner or a friend who could call up on your behalf or be there to support you xx

cupcake88

@depressedmum09 hi also I wanted to add that with private psychiatrist there very expensive I think my fiend said she paid 400 a hour and there the medication is expensive it’s really expensive . 

I feel
that the mental health crisis teams work really fast but the community mental health team work slower I have access to a nurse she calls me weekly she be able to come out and visit soon . But like you said covid has delayed every thing Which is a pain . 

My friend has biopolar and is on lithium she has really bad side affects from it she gets pip so there are some positives stories as well as the negative but I totally see where your comming from because I really Won’t be able to even look at the decision . 

depressedmum09

@cupcake88 I had my assessment on Monday afternoon and received the text from DWP this morning at 9am to say they have received it. I am currently under the community team myself, I was under the crisis team on 2 occassions this year but they discharged me back to the community once my "moods" settled. Lithium is horrendous but without it im 10x worse. Its a bitter sweet situation. I know private appointments are expensive, however, there is a place the NHS use, it used to be called bupa, you can get a private appointment for 1 hour, for £230. (I know thats alot of money) but its the different insight i want, I want to be able to explain everything, the medication, mood frequences etc and see if they believe what I am receiving is correct or there could be another alternative. At the moment I dont believe its working and I feel no one is listening to me and when my moods spiral instead of looking at the treatment I am receiving they place me in hospital. Its a never ending vicous cycle. I just want someone to listen to me and I feel a private appointment would do just that. 
Im dreading the decision, I have a gut feeling Im not going to get anything, all I done was cry on the phone! 
I cant believe your assessment lasted so long, mine literally was 38 minutes so I cant help but think that was bad news.
Have you heard anything from DWP yourself regarding getting your report back?
I might ask my friend to call them up on my behalf and see if she can find out any information and request the report to be sent out. Do you know whether the person on the phone can tell you anything on the report? xx

mk2000

depressedmum09 said:

@cupcake88 I had my assessment on Monday afternoon and received the text from DWP this morning at 9am to say they have received it. I am currently under the community team myself, I was under the crisis team on 2 occassions this year but they discharged me back to the community once my "moods" settled. Lithium is horrendous but without it im 10x worse. Its a bitter sweet situation. I know private appointments are expensive, however, there is a place the NHS use, it used to be called bupa, you can get a private appointment for 1 hour, for £230. (I know thats alot of money) but its the different insight i want, I want to be able to explain everything, the medication, mood frequences etc and see if they believe what I am receiving is correct or there could be another alternative. At the moment I dont believe its working and I feel no one is listening to me and when my moods spiral instead of looking at the treatment I am receiving they place me in hospital. Its a never ending vicous cycle. I just want someone to listen to me and I feel a private appointment would do just that. 
Im dreading the decision, I have a gut feeling Im not going to get anything, all I done was cry on the phone! 
I cant believe your assessment lasted so long, mine literally was 38 minutes so I cant help but think that was bad news.
Have you heard anything from DWP yourself regarding getting your report back?
I might ask my friend to call them up on my behalf and see if she can find out any information and request the report to be sent out. Do you know whether the person on the phone can tell you anything on the report? xx

You can ring up yourself and ask for the report it will be sent out its what I did my interview lasted 62 minuets he questioned me over and over and my report has come back lies

mk2000

Also he rang me very late about 40 minutes later and the line was really bad and ge kept muting me 

depressedmum09

@steve51 Hi steve, its not that I feel like I am losing control, its more so the medication and therapy sessions combined are not working any more so I am losing the grip on remaining stable. I havent felt stable in months, I dont know how i am going to be the following day because my moods are so eratic. 

cupcake88

@depressedmum09 mines lasted so long because I kept giving the phone to my partner and he had to keep getting me to respond to her because I didn’t want to speak on phone being asked so much stuff made me so anxious . 

How often does your nurse call you ? I know my friends only calls her once a month they work slower than crisis team . Mines is weekly . And there’s not much she can do to help me at the mo because I’m not ready for trauma therapy yet . 

I mean she was very nice and she told me to take my time I cried a lot also because I find it hard excepting how iam now I’m in my early 30s and I’m like a scared child constantly it’s horrible . 

Mines was on Monday after noon and yeh was nearly two hours hour and 48 mins to be exact ,  

cupcake88

Private is very expensive hun but if you think that will help then it’s worth a go 

steve51

Hi @depressedmum09

That’s great that you know that you have got things “under control.

Can you see your “GP” if you feel that your meds/therapy session’s aren’t under control anymore???

Please please let us know if you are going to have problems with your “moods”

@steve51

steve51

Hi @cupcake88

Sorry but I am not sure if I have chatted with you before.

If not then I am one of the team of Community Champion’s here at Scope.

Please please let me let me know if there’s any help you need with your “pip”

@steve51

cupcake88

@steve51. Hi Steve thank you that’s very kind of you , I think I have just decided to wait till the full report is ready before I am enquire . Because im
just way to anxious , I would rather get a final decision , 

steve51

Hi @cupcake88

No Probs that’s my Pleasure ???

Yes if you feel that is the best way.

Please please let me know if there’s anything that I can offer you in the meantime!!!!!

@steve51