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Any suggestions??

prabha2410prabha2410 Member Posts: 4 Listener
Hi all 
I have 2 boys one 4yrs old and 4 month old boy who s new baby during lockdown 
my big boy has learning difficulties who cannot communicate about his needs and wants . He s screaming a lots too , lockdown made him worse than before. Sometimes I’m so confused to priorities their needs??i mean which I need to look after first while both are crying ? 

Replies

  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,404

    Scope community team

    edited August 2020
    Hi @prabha2410 - Welcome to our online community.  I am glad you found us and I am sure we can help you.

    Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your new baby boy.  That must have been some experience over lockdown! 

    Secondly, here at Scope we have a free service called Navigate that helps the parents of disabled children and provides emotional support.  I think it would be a big help with what you are going through and the team are very understanding and non-judgemental.  The service is open weekdays between 9-5 and you can find more information on the Navigate webpage.

    The Scope website also has more information on emotional support for families of a disabled child, that could be of use.

    Do you have any family or friends who you are able to talk to about this?  
    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the online community?  Talk to our chatbot and let us know.
  • prabha2410prabha2410 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Thank you 
    yes 
    I have my sister near by And I’m already getting professional advice from Beverly from navigate service 
    thank you 
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,404

    Scope community team

    That's great!! Has the advice from Beverly gone some way towards helping? 

    Make sure to keep talking to your sister about how you are feeling and remember to go easy on yourself.  Sometimes we can only do one thing at a time and it sounds like you are a very loving mum who cares deeply for her boys.  
    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the online community?  Talk to our chatbot and let us know.
  • chiariedschiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 8,063 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @prabha2410 - & welcome to this friendly & supportive community. It must be so difficult looking after 2 such young children with their different needs at the same time. You sound like you are doing amazingly well.
    I'm pleased you have joined the Navigate service, as I've heard such good things about it from other parents.
    Please do use this forum to chat here any time, as there's usually someone about, & kindly let us know how you're all doing. :)
  • janer1967janer1967 Member Posts: 9,276 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @prabha2410 Welcome to the community I am glad you have joined us here

    I dont really have any advice but can imagine how hard it si for you to cope all I would say is as long as they are safe then you can dral with them one at a time whichever one has the greatest need at that time. And don feel guilty about tending to the other one 

    I hope you start to get some relief 
  • prabha2410prabha2410 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Oh yes as you say I feel guilty and sorry for the other one. That’s make me depressed . 
    Thank you dear 
  • janer1967janer1967 Member Posts: 9,276 Disability Gamechanger
    You have a lot to deal with all at once and it isnt long since you had your second child so it will take a while to get into a new routine, I suggest you talk to your GP about your depression and maybe your health visitor for suggestions about coping with the children
  • TopkittenTopkitten Member Posts: 1,263 Pioneering
    Dealing with 2 young children and you have to just try things and see what works. I never had a child with difficulties but I guess it works the same way. My 2 girls were only 2 years apart but my son was almost 10 years after them, which causes different issues. I used to alternate with the girls as they both wanted attention at the same time and I tried to be as fair as possible. One thought though would be to pick the baby up and then console the older boy. Babies often will quieten with just being near mum.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,404

    Scope community team

    Are you getting support with your mental health @prabha2410 from the GP or a local team?
    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the online community?  Talk to our chatbot and let us know.
  • prabha2410prabha2410 Member Posts: 4 Listener
    Yes I have contacted GP
    thank you 
  • emmarenshawemmarenshaw Member Posts: 712 Pioneering
    Welcome to the community @prabha2410  Please let me know if I can help you with anything or if you have any questions. The community is a wonderful bunch and we’re glad to have you with us.


  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,404

    Scope community team

    Hi @prabha2410

    How are you getting on today?  How have things been with your children?  

    Keep us updated and let us know what your GP says  :)
    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the online community?  Talk to our chatbot and let us know.
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