Hi to all about my Son. — Scope | Disability forum
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Hi to all about my Son.

What do I do about this my 2 grandaughters werre playing/fighting in dads bedroom/My Son room
Hes 34.   Elsie 11 jumped on darcy 5 as they always do messing about which really annoyed me
Then darcey comes in saying her knee hurts and crying i asked Darcey what happened
She told me then my Son had a go at me for asking what was wrong with Darcey   as I said to Elsie
That they shouldn't have been fighting so he jumped up pointing his finger at me and 
I have enough to deal with my health conditions my peak flow has gone back down too 
200 from 300 how do I get him to move out of my bungalow I don't want him here with that temper.



  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Member Posts: 28,416 Disability Gamechanger

    Kids play fight all the time, i know my children did, when they were smaller. Try to explain to your son that you were just asking what happened.

    Regarding your son, is he able to look for somewhere else to live? It may not be possible to get social housing because the waiting lists are usually huge. What about looking for a private landlord in your area, maybe a small flat would be ideal for him. Try having a google search to see what's in your area.
  • Sparklebright62
    Sparklebright62 Member Posts: 37 Listener

    Hi Thankyou for your reply yes mine did when they were little too I did explain what I was asking Elsie and he took it the wrong way as he always does.
    He has apologised but that's not the point he has an awful temper and I am not putting up with him been like that's hes done this lots of times and I don't trust his behaviour.

  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,412

    Scope community team

    edited October 2020
    @Sparklebright62 I'm sorry your son upset you with his temper and I understand you wanting him to have his own space now.  

    Has he spoken about moving out before?  Do you think he would react okay to you suggesting the things @poppy123456 said about looking for a private rental?  

    I hope you are more relaxed now.  Please let us know how you get on.
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  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Member Posts: 28,416 Disability Gamechanger
    Thiinking more about this, i live with my daughter and she's coming up for 20. She has ASD and learning disability. Although we do mostly get on ok together, we do have times where we disagree or she does or says something that really annoys me. I'm sure the same applies to her with me at times.

    If we do have a "moment" she'll go upstairs to her room to calm down and she'll stay there for several hours sometimes. I can totally understand where you're coming from though because it can be difficult. Sometimes i want to pull my hair out with pure frustration. We live in a small 2 bedroom terraced house so it's not like we can "get away from each other that easily"

    Are you able to go to another room when you do disagree about something? I know it's not ideal but sometimes we have to make the best out of difficult situations and even more so in these very difficult times.

    Looking for somewhere else for your son to live is certainly not going to be easy either, especially if he'll claiming benefits because a lot of landlords won't accept those claiming benefits as tenants. Yes, it's wrong and they are not suppose to refuse us but they do.
  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 5,086 Disability Gamechanger
    Sometimes people downsize as a solution to this kind of problem, that forces the issue to be resolved. 

    “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

    ― Dalai Lama XIV
  • Sparklebright62
    Sparklebright62 Member Posts: 37 Listener
    Lee c a l

    Sorry I had to space your last name as it wouldn't let me type it all together we did downsize 4 from a 4 to a 2 bed he has mentioned about moving out and has his name on waiting list 
    But he's not heard anything yet.
    I just hope he finds somewhere
    He tries to make out he never does anything wrong as does my husband and are both manipulative to live with.
    Is there are website for ASD I could look on for info.

    Or a support group I could go on for myself I know I shouldn't react when they say something to me but people have never put me first and it really annoys me think its right to use people and never take my wishes into consideration.
    Which is Disrespect and I have morels and values till I had my last child.
    I have problems relating to people because I was abused when I was a child and also an adult so everything is not easy at all.


  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 12,265 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Sparklebright62 - I am very sorry about what you're going through; it certainly can't be easy. You ask if there's a website for ASD. Please see: https://www.autism.org.uk/
    I hope perhaps they may be able to give support. Hope this helps.

  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 8,170

    Scope community team

    NAS are a good place to start @Sparklebright62, as @chiarieds suggested. They also have their own online community, which might help you to connect with other parents too. 
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  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 8,553

    Scope community team

    Hi @Sparklebright62. How are things going with your son now? It can't be easy living with someone that has a temper. Does your husband help when things get heated?

    How did you get on with the ASD information Chiarieds linked to?
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