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Advice for a parent with a son aged 17 just diagnosed with autism

donnap79 Member Posts: 52 Connected
edited December 2020 in Autism and neurodiversity
My son has just been diagnosed with autism he doesn’t go out he doesn’t have friends we don’t know much about it and I want to learn about autism to help him in life as I’m concerned he’s going to become depressed after this diagnosis he doesn’t socialise with people he won’t go out even tho as a family we try and encourage him can anyone give me any advice please 


  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 11,670 Disability Gamechanger
    edited December 2020
    Hi @donnap79 - Welcome & Merry Christmas. :)
    This seems to be a trait with autism, & a lot of young people are happy in their bedrooms (& a lot of other teenagers too). There's some info here from the National Autistic Society:   & from Young Minds:
    It's a lot for a parent to take onboard, but this community is a good place for support. I hope some of the above may help, & do chat here any time.
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,132 Disability Gamechanger
    hi @donnap79 I hope you are having the best possible Christmas although It's a difficult one for most of us, I can't help you with your son's autism as I have no experience at all in that field. But I do know that people will be along over the holidays who can help like @chiarieds who has offered some advice.
    Happy Christmas
    i'm out of here
  • donnap79
    donnap79 Member Posts: 52 Connected
    Hi Yh he spends all his time in his bedroom n always has unless it’s to come down for food or quick chat etc he is enrolled in college but he hasn’t been able to go cause of the lockdown etc this yr but even last yr he struggled to go plus he has it so he sits on his own and it’s a course for people to help them develop to
    thr next stage with education as they all struggle with either anxiety or one thing or another but I try and ask what does he want to do after college he says he don’t know and I think it’s because he knows he’s not even able to fulfill going to college full time and interact with people but he won’t talk to me and I want to help him but I don’t know how if that makes sense we have waited for this Assesment since he was 14 but now we have it I’m not sure how it’s going to affect him because I think he will get depressed but I just want to try and help him realise even tho he has autism he can get a job and make something of himself I just think he needs some support 
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 6,132 Disability Gamechanger
    Just a thought have you considered that it might be an idea if he applies for PIP?
    i'm out of here
  • donnap79
    donnap79 Member Posts: 52 Connected
    Yh my husband claims It for him already as he has ADHD also you see 
  • dolfrog
    dolfrog Member Posts: 441 Pioneering
    edited December 2020
    You may find this 2013 review research paper may help explain as few issues.
    DSM-5 and autism spectrum disorders (ASDs): an opportunity for identifying ASD subtypes  
  • donnap79
    donnap79 Member Posts: 52 Connected
    Thank you I’ll havr a look 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 7,086

    Scope community team

    Hello @donnap79 :) Merry Christmas!

    I'm sorry to hear that you're all struggling to cope with your son's recent diagnosis. This can be a stressful experience for many parents, as well as the individual themselves, but hopefully it's the first step on the road to getting your son the support he needs. 

    I've listed a couple ideas of things you could do below, in case that helps.

    Speak to Scope's Navigate or Parents Connect services

    Navigate is open to any parent or carer who:
    • lives in England or Wales 
    • has parental responsibility for a child under 18
    • this child is on a pathway to diagnosis or has received one in the last year
    Navigate is a programme of up to 6 sessions with a personal adviser, who will help you to talk about your feelings and concerns. These are currently taking place online, in line with coronavirus restrictions.

    The service will help you with:
    • organising your thoughts and feelings
    • practical advice and suggestions
    • coping strategies and insights
    • taking positive actions and helping you with emotional wellbeing
    Parents Connect
    The service is free and for parents and carers who are:
    • aged 18 or over
    • the parent or carer of a young disabled person between the age of 0 and 18
    • living in England or Wales
    The online sessions will be in groups of up to 12 parents or carers. There will be 6 parent sessions, usually one each week. After you apply we will try to find a time and date that will work for you.

    Each session will:
    • encourage you to talk to others in the group
    • provide you with information about local and national services
    • last a couple of hours

    Get in touch with the National Autistic Society

    Getting in touch with the National Autistic Society (NAS), as chiarieds advised, could be a really good idea. They can offer various specific advice and support for both you and your son. Here is a list of their help and support services.

    Speak to his college

    You mentioned that he's unsure about what he'd like to do after college, and that he's not managing to attend college full-time, is that right?

    Have you spoken to the college about his recent diagnosis, and about whether there's any additional support they can provide him with? 

    Does he currently have an EHCP

    Visit our parents and carers category

    The autism and Asperger's category is a great place to start, but you might also like to have a look through our parents and carers category to see whether you can connect to any other parents who might be having a similar experience.

    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

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