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Some unsupportive family

briancharles5612briancharles5612 Member Posts: 29 Connected
edited December 2020 in Parents and carers

This is hard one to write, but imagine others have experienced this. Our child is 3 and on the autism spectrum. As such he won’t acknowledge you when you enter the room etc. We know that’s him and nothing to be offended by.


He also has to sleep with us as it’s unsafe for him to sleep in his own bed as he moves about so much he would fall off a single. 


Finally he gets distressed by certain things and is very hard to get medicine in etc as he doesn’t understand. We don’t know when he should be told off and not etc. We have to wait to again speak to his doctor.


Some family have been supportive, others sadly haven’t. We’ve been told he’s rude for not acknowledging a grandparent when they majestically enter our house. He should have his own bed. If you force him to do something he will learn. The best one “can you ever have people round and do anything normal”. 


We are working with Doctors and support groups. Especially around the bed, but are finding it very hard as his safety must come first.


It’s just added pressure when some family act as bigots around him and makes us not to want the offending ones near him.


Am i wrong in what I think and feel?

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Replies

  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 22,214 Disability Gamechanger
    HI,

    There's a lot of people that just don't understand Autism, although saying that your child is just 3 years old and i wouldn't expect many children of this age to acknowledge anyone when entering a room, they are too young to understand what's rude and what's not and it's ridiculous for anyone to expect anything different.

    Teaching your child right from wrong is a good thing, even though he's just 3 years old because he will learn, even though he has Autism, he must still know the difference between right and wrong.

    My daughter has Autism but i still insisted she knew the difference between them and if she did anything wrong then yes i would tell her off. She's an adult now and doesn't acknowledge anyone when entering a room of people.

    As for sleeping in his own bed, i believe i advised you on this a little while ago and there are guards available to buy that will make sure he stays safe while sleeping.
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • briancharles5612briancharles5612 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    Thank you for your comments. He will listen to me when I say no etc. But it’s things like is tearing things naughty or therapeutic for him.

    the reason we still have the bed issue is he is just too tall for bars. He’s got the height of a 5-6 year old. Also he crashed into a wall the other night so it’s not just baring the exit it’s also padding the wall. Sometimes he can bounce on a bed and throw himself at the same time. So we need to supervise that.

    but I do really Appreciate your input as it gives us areas to look at.
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 22,214 Disability Gamechanger
    You're welcome. I don't understand the too tall part because you can buy bed guards that will go around the whole of the bed, even the top and bottom, this will then keep him safe while he's sleeping.

    With your family try to point them towards reading some guides about ASD and then they will have some understanding of it. There's quite a few things online they can read or if they don't have internet access maybe you can print some off for them. Here's a couple just to start with.


    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • briancharles5612briancharles5612 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    Thank you very much. They’re just people who like to make nasty comments as well sometimes

    And we’re looking at one of those padded beds as an option. That are padded all the way round. We’re just trying to work out what his specific needs are. 
  • poppy123456poppy123456 Community champion Posts: 22,214 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm sorry to hear that. Sadly some people just don't understand ASD full stop and just blame the person/child for being rude and ignorant. I know in the past i've found myself saying sorry to people because of the way my daughter is around others. I don't do it now because i don't really have anything to say sorry for. She's not ignorant she has ASD and i refuse to say sorry because of this.
    Community champion and proud winner of the 2019 empowering others award. This award was given for supporting disabled people and their families for the benefit advice i have given to members here on the community.
  • briancharles5612briancharles5612 Member Posts: 29 Connected
    You’re exactly right. Sadly there’s still prejudice out there. Whether covert or overt.
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