Hello. I have been struggling with an undiagnosed mental illness for potentially my whole life. It has progressively worsened and no doctor has been able to help me. Here is a brief outline of my symptoms:
• Indescribable feeling of semi-consciousness.
o Over the years my description of this has evolved. Originally, I described it as a feeling of being in a fog. Later I started calling it a feeling of being a “zombie”. More recently I described it as being in a dream. Today I call it semi-consciousness.
o This is my primary symptom. I could learn to cope with anything listed here except for this. I include the other symptoms as a diagnosis tool for this symptom because it is so hard to describe.
• Lack of motivation
o Consequently poor hygiene
• Attention deficit
o My mind wanders or goes blank constantly.
• ****-conscious avoidance of mentally strenuous activities
o My brain refuses to process school assignments, resulting in poor academic performance. I often sit all day with a textbook or homework assignment in front of me and accomplish as much as most people would accomplish in 15 minutes.
• Sleep abnormalities
o I have great difficulty going to sleep at a normal time and waking up at a normal time.
o If I am uninterrupted I sleep for extended periods of time, ranging from 10-14 hours.
• Obsessive-compulsive behaviors
o I constantly carry out some sort of compulsive behavior, often many at once. I grind my jaw, scratch my head, crack my knuckles, etc.
o I rarely listen to music, but if I am awake there is constantly a tune playing in my head. I can’t control this.
• Strange phobia(s)
o I am uncomfortable looking up into the sky. I’m unsure why. This was more severe when I was younger.
I am a 20 year old male currently in college. I have a family history of autoimmune disease and bipolar disorder.
I did not experience any of the aforementioned issues until at least early middle school, and they have progressively gotten worse.
Does anyone recognize these symptoms or have any idea of what might be ailing me?
I will try to answer questions as soon as I see them.