I need advice

RockNRollR

My son was diagnosed "next door" so I never really had any guidance. He is 25yo Bachelors Degree Computer Science. He is working his 1st job from home. Doesn't drive.  Doesn't like to leave the house Now Covid, It has probably been almost a year since he left house. He has had problems, like it takes him a minute to hear what u say and as we would keep going on talking, he would need to have a minute to think about things and maybe like get them in order to understand but in the mean time the conversation has continued and now he missed all new info. He has a hard time asking questions because people have been impatient with him and he doesnt like when people get upset so he just says he will figure it out on his own. So now with his boss, (it would be the same if he went in to office to work) he didn't get the last bonus because they need him to do better. (He gives me little info so not sure better on what)  I keep telling him he needs to talk with his boss (with any person he has to interact with) and make sure everything is clearly understood to do a good efficient job. And apologize and tell him maybe he needs a little extra help to make things clearer. He will never do that. I was going to email his boss but I know I can't. If they would have labeled him officially he could just give his boss the letter explaining it. I just don't know how teach him to get past that. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! Lori

Fourpence

Hi I know how hard this is as I have a granddaughter 19 has not been out with friends, gone on a date or just chatted with people. She stopped going to school at 14 but has done so well ahe is now in a small collage and was attending, but then came covid it's so sad as she's got used to being back in her bedroom again. Like your son everything has to be in order and days warning if anything is going to change. I wish I could wave a wand  and all would be well in the world. So I don't have the answers but can you sit with him and together form a written plan of what he needs to say to his boss or get him to send an email. Hope this helps a little bit, you  can always get a listening ear on here. X

Ross_Alumni

Hi @RockNRollR

Great username, welcome to the community.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with this, it can't be easy as a parent. 

Have you considered broaching the subject of reasonable adjustments with your son and his work? There might be alterations that can be made so that he can do his job easier. 

Also, I'm not sure if he has a regular GP who handles his situation, but a conversation with them might be helpful to see if there's something they could recommend.