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How do I get a girlfriend that likes me?

lewissaynerlewissayner Member Posts: 44 Listener
edited January 26 in Dating and relationships
How do I get a girlfriend that likes me
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Replies

  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    Why do you think thst girls don't like you  ?  Do you have a disability and thats why you think thst  maybe you could explain a bit more 

    Other people will reply aswel 
  • lewissaynerlewissayner Member Posts: 44 Listener
    I get picked on because of my disability and the way I work and I don’t get why people can’t get along with me 
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    Oh gosh I am sorry thst your going through this how old are you if uou don't mind me asking 

    Do you work aswel have  you spoken to anyone about the way you feel 
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    @Ross_Scope may know how to help you  better  
  • lewissaynerlewissayner Member Posts: 44 Listener
    22 and no lost my job in the pandemic 
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Community Team Posts: 3,210 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm sorry that you get picked on @lewissayner, I can imagine that's quite hurtful. I'm also sorry to hear you lost your job during the pandemic. 

    I definitely think that it's important to be yourself when looking to get into a relationship, and to wait for someone who loves you for who you are. Are you a member of any social groups? That can be a good way to meet people, as you already have a common interest. Obviously they're all running online at the moment, but sometimes it can be nice to message someone for a bit before you meet them anyway. 
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  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    Ok so at the moment in lockdown have you been ok  how does your disability affect you 
  • lewissaynerlewissayner Member Posts: 44 Listener
    It’s called autism that’s what I have. 

    @Tori_Scope I don’t think that will work at all I’ve tried it multiple times and didn’t work
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    @Tori_Scope may know a bit more than me I know its hard when you have a disability when it comes to relationships 

    Maybe you just haven't met the right girl who appreciates you 😌 
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    Ok have you had a girlfriend before or a friend that is a girl 
  • lewissaynerlewissayner Member Posts: 44 Listener
    I’ve had friends that are girls but they wanted to be friends s and didn’t want to ruin our friendship 
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    So girls do like you  and want  to be friends so that's a good thing so you need to meet someone  who wants to be in a relationship 

    Do you live at home with your parents 
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    My grandson is around the same age as you and has autism he met his girl friend on line during lockdown he has been with her six months  but hasn't met her in the flesh yet  

    Their relationship is building resly well thry speak on the phone and have face time and they both like xbox as they are both gamers so they talk  alot 

    I see that @Tori_Scope has said about online groups you said it didn't work why do you think that maybe it wasn't the right group for you I dont know if scope could  help eith what groups are available  


  • lewissaynerlewissayner Member Posts: 44 Listener
    I do think people should be careful who they meet online as they might not be who they say they are as it’s happened to me before and would never want it to happen to you’re grandson
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    My grandson belonged to a disability friendship to relationship group all face time he talks to her on the phone aswel it was properly organised they were suposed to be meeting up Xmas but it didn't happen because of lockdown my daughter has also spoken to her parents on facetime  and on the phone so its all safe thank you for the concern though 

    Do you live with your parents or on your own 
  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,467 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @lewissayner

    Relationships can be a tricky one to navigate even for non-disabled people. But for those who are disabled there can be a whole load of anxieties that starting a new relationship can bring, such as:
    • Will they mind dating someone who has a disability?
    • How open should I be about my disability?

    For me, mark my words I'm nowhere near an expert, I'd say like the others above you need to be yourself first of all. @lisathomas50 is right that if you do have friends who are women, that shows that people do like you and enjoy spending time with you.

    Try not to overly focus on meeting people, focus on looking after yourself and being happy, then I'm sure you will meet the right someone for you.
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  • lewissaynerlewissayner Member Posts: 44 Listener
    @Ross_Scope how can I be happy when no one is giving me what I have wanted to do. I’m trying to sort my life by doing something which would make me happy and all anyone can seem to do is upset me.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Listener
    edited January 26
    I too have Asperger's and I've been bullied on and offline most of my life... I lost a good voluntary job nearly 4 years ago because of some idiot at work who called me a "deaf (Removed by moderator, profanity)" thinking I didn't hear him due to a dead battery in my hearing aid, I DID hear him and a week later I went in work to apologise for not being able to do an extra shift a week previous due to illness, HE was on the till and said to me "What tha' doin' ere?" and well after nearly 4 years of abuse from this guy I let him have it, verbally of course, I was heard by the staff at the shop next door and consequently reported, next thing I lost my job because the manager sided with HIM and accused me of mishearing what was said!

    Pardon? I might be deaf but contrary to popular opinion I'm not daft!

  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    @lewissayner how do people upset you  is it family  friends  what do you need to do to sort your life out maybe you can get help from scope they are pretty good at helping 

    What would you like to do with your life 

    Here to listen if you need help 
  • lewissaynerlewissayner Member Posts: 44 Listener
    @lisathomas50 I live in my own house which is nice. My family don’t really help out much to be honest and hardly speak to me so I’ve just been focusing on myself. And I would like to give tv presenter a go I know we are in lockdown at the moment I just worry that I won’t get the chance in the future when I want to do it 
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,101 Pioneering
    @lewissayner your only young you have plenty of time  if that's what you want then see if there are any courses you can do or any help you can get to help you do  that

    Do you get any help at all  as you say you live on your own how do people upset you 
  • Richard_ScopeRichard_Scope Community Team Posts: 2,616 Scope community team
    Relationships can be tricky for everybody. Often, friendships can blossom into something more because a level of trust has been built up, making communication easier.
    Take a look at The Outsiders Trust | Peer Support and Dating for Disabled People. This is an excellent club for people to get to know one another.
    The organisation VisABLE People can help train you and give you the skills to becoming a TV presenter. 
    Scope
    Specialist Information Officer - Cerebral Palsy

    Want to tell us about your experience on the community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know. 
  • BrettWBrettW Member Posts: 607 Pioneering
    edited January 27
    @lewissayner I personally found that the best relationships have always happened when I wasn't looking for them. Like other people have suggested start by finding a couple of online groups that cover subjects you are interested in and just be yourself on there.

    You'll be amazed how people who have similar interests bond together and you may find that from friendships you form within these groups something deeper may form.

    Don't approach situations with girls by saying you are looking for a relationship because this does sometimes put people off and instead just tell them what you are like as a person, what sorts of things you enjoy doing and who knows you may end up talking to a girl who likes all those things too and things could develop from there!

    (edited for spelling error)

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