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My husband had a large bleed on the brain

Hi all not sure if this is the right place to join but my husband had a large bleed on the brain which has left him with some disabilities, left leg not able to move very much unable to walk without supervision and walking aids some short term memory loss blurred vision in one eye and double vision in the other. He has been in hospital since 2nd December 2020 and at present at a rehabilitation centre in Lemington and hopefully being discharged around 8th March. Brian is 64 years old and was before this happened a very happy go lucky and hard working man, I am worried how this is going to effect him in the future and how I can help him over come his disabilities. I am hoping that you would be able to give me advice and emotional support during the difficult times we are going to face.
Replies
Welcome to the community, hope you're okay.
I'm sorry to hear about what you and your husband have had to go through, it can't have been an easy few months. How is Brian's recovery going?
Regarding how you can best support him, I'd firstly ensure that you are getting all the support you need from the health professionals handling his situation, so that you are both able to get on with life as normally as possible. I'd speak with his GP, specialist or other health professional to see what support can be put in place for his symptoms.
It will probably take time for you both to adapt to this new situation, so it's important to be patient and open with one another about how you feel, so that you can work through any issues as a team and live a happy life despite the challenges thrown up by the last couple of months.
I wish you both well.
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I'm glad the rehab clinic he is at has a good reputation, that will hopefully strengthen his recovery
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Some people make great progress but it can be a long drawn out affair.
The link is to the stroke association:
https://www.stroke.org.uk
It will be a hard adjustment for you both but hopefully having him home and not being apart will help
However being back home may make it more obvious what his disabilities are something for you to be mindful of
Make sure you get support from his ot team and they can refer for counselling if required I know I was offered it for coming to terms with my disability I didnt take it up but wish i had
Good luck to you both
I'm so sorry to hear what your husband has been through, and the impact of it all on you too.
My health deteriorated rapidly throughout 2017, and in March 2018 I was admitted to intensive care as I was unconscious. I was placed into an induced coma, and they too, didn't think I would wake up. Still to this day, nobody knows what caused me to become unconscious.
But when I became more aware of what was happening, I realised I could no longer to anything - it was a terrifying shock. I couldn't do anything myself, I was bedbound - unable to sit up, stand, walk, eat and drink independently, write, type, all sorts. I had to learn it all again.
The recovery is not easy at all, unfortunately. My recovery is very much ongoing but I have managed to regain most of what I stated above, which I lost.
My advice is that it is so important that you both receive as much support as you need, whether it be around the home, care needs, mental health, financially, etc. It is a lot to get your head around at first, and it will be overwhelming at times. But the key is to take it one day at a time.
Overtime, everything will come together and have a better quality of life.
I have a saying that has got me through the darkest days of recovery - everything is adaptable. Touchwood, I've not come across anything that isn't adaptable (which i need at present).
But I would stress that your husband receives some form of talking therapy, might be something to consider asking the rehab he is currently at? Its not easy opening up but it does help to process different things.
Also, remember to take care of yourself, this has been a distressing time for you and there are many support groups out there, including this lovely community. We will always be here for you.
Take care, and remember to take it one day at a time
Disability Gamechanger - 2019
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For instance, when i was dependent on a hoist, although my ultimate goal was to walk again, i set my focus on a standing aid and being confident when using it. Next goal was a different standing aid which was much easier to transfer with. And so on... One day at a time
Do you feel that you have received sufficient support regarding Brian being discharged and coming home? For example, any mobility/household aids, carers/personal assistants (if he requires them)
Disability Gamechanger - 2019
Disability Gamechanger - 2019