Hi, my name is Peter60! My wife died in December. I want someone to talk to and hug. Anyone else? — Scope | Disability forum
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Hi, my name is Peter60! My wife died in December. I want someone to talk to and hug. Anyone else?

Peter60
Peter60 Member Posts: 1 Listener
My wife dies last December since then I've been on my own. It's a lonely life, especially with this covid. If you feel like I do, meeting someone comes before that, I know that's wrong. But a life without love isn't worth being here anyhow. There's no worse feeling than looking around and everyone had got someone and you feeling unwanted. I was married to a disabled woman and sex meant nothing when you have someone's heart. My wife finally died of cancer, and I'm desperate for a hug, someone to talk to, Someone who's on your side and sees the good in you is all's I've ever asked, There must be people who thinks the same. Peple make me sick when your wife is in a wheelchair and they either talk down to her or don't even see them. 
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Comments

  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 6,632

    Scope community team

    Welcome to the community :) I'm very sorry for your loss @Peter60, this must be a very difficult time. 

    There are definitely other people out there who are looking for the same thing. Have you looked into any kind of online dating, joined any social groups that meet remotely, or considered signing up to a pen pal or phone call befriending service? They can all be good ways to chat to new people. Do you have many friends or family members you can talk to?

    Have you spoken to anyone about your grief? Talking about it can be hard, but often makes things a little easier to deal with. 

    And yes unfortunately many people do hold misconceptions about what it means to be disabled, including in relation to dating, sex, and relationships. Comedian Romina Puma recently answered some questions for us on dating as a wheelchair user, which you might find interesting. 

    Just to let you know, I've renamed your post slightly and moved it into the dating and relationships category.
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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 1,651 Listener
    Indeed, fortunately I'm not Wheelchair bound (although IMO I'd be financially better off if I was, then the Tories would be falling over themselves to give me money) but I have had more insults than I care to remember for being disabled, stuff which I'm sure the Mods wouldn't thank me for repeating.

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,876 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi there 

    Just wanted to welcome you to the community 

    I am sorry for your loss and can only imagine how you are coping with this 

    I am a wheelchair user so totally get your thoughts on how people are treated 

    I hope you look into some of the recommendations above and take up some support 

    We are always around yo support or just have a chat 
    I have professional experience in HR within public,  private, and charity sectors.  If I can help I will 
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,659 Disability Gamechanger
    Indeed, fortunately I'm not Wheelchair bound (although IMO I'd be financially better off if I was, then the Tories would be falling over themselves to give me money) but I have had more insults than I care to remember for being disabled, stuff which I'm sure the Mods wouldn't thank me for repeating.

    Answer me this one (if you can) in what way would you be financially better off if you were in a wheelchair, I don't understand your point about the Tories falling over themselves to give you money when you spend most days telling everybody how (in your opinion) evil the tories are.
    <scratches head again >
    I am a person with epilepsy not an epileptic, my illness doesn't define me.
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,659 Disability Gamechanger
    edited February 17
    hi @peter60 and welcome to scope, sorry for your loss you can get grief counselling from cruse if you think it might help?

    https://www.cruse.org.uk
    I am a person with epilepsy not an epileptic, my illness doesn't define me.

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