Hi, my name is Behi!

Behi

Hi there, I'm behina and 22 years old, with mild hemiparesis(weakness in left part) which is kind of CP.  I'm in the senior year of my university when I have doubt and fear about my major (HSE) is suitable for me or not. I've just read @BeMe post and it just feels like me.

janer1967

Hi and welcome 

Glad you have joined and hope to see you around 

Grinchy

welcome to the forum, good luck with your course, i hope you find some help/advice on what to do next

Tori_Scope

Welcome to the community @Behi It's great to have you with us, and thank you for telling us a bit about yourself. 

Do you have any specific concerns about your course? 

Behi

Hi @janer1967
How are you?
thanks for warm welcomming.
it was a while I wasn't here sorry for the late respond 

Behi

Hi @Grinchy
Thanks for the welcoming
Actually, it was a while that I wasn't here ,I'm graduating these days?
Thanks again

Behi

Hi @Tori_Scope
Thanks for your sweet welcoming,
To be honest, I don't remember what was my problem on those days.
I just come back to tell since I sing up here, although I haven't checked the forum since then, feel like heard somehow. and to be honest, no one felt me like that before? I know it sounds dramatic (as my friend used to tell me )but it is the truth , sometimes I feel the meaning of the word "alone".
I just wanna say thanks for this site and your community feel me less like that

Behi

I come back cause I think no one around can't understand what I feel or sense(physically) and sometimes it's so hard to explain, due to my hemiparesis( right side of my body is ok, but my leg and hand on the left side are weak) so I know what should it feel if you have a healthy body if I concrete on the right side of my body and I should tell it is great ??it's so relaxing, but in general, because I have my sensation in the left side which is weak (it is so contrasting?) and it is okay if you don't get, hard to explain.
I meàn these contrasts and the feeling that every second, anything in my left hand may drop, have driven me crazy in a couple of past years. I do a lot of meditation and stuff but sometimes I need an actual person to feel me,
and since I was a little I had low self-esteem which recently I"ve found out the steam of that, is it. As you can guess, imagine anything you want to do with your left hand you have fear. anyway, it was so many years I used to not do things with my left hand and for a couple of years, I've started everything from scratch, and I just wanna tell all the things that bother me.
Thanks for reading all my story

Tori_Scope

It's good to see you back @Behi It doesn't sound dramatic at all, and I'm glad that the community has made you feel less alone. Our members have a range of experiences, and we're all here to offer support and advice where we can, even if it's just through some casual chit chat. 

 I do a lot of meditation and stuff but sometimes I need an actual person to feel me,

Do you mean that you'd like to see someone in-person who could give you some advice on how to manage your hemiparesis? Have you ever been to see a physiotherapist? 

I'm also sorry to hear that you've been struggling with low self esteem. Low self esteem can affect lots of areas of your life, so it's worth working on. Have you spoken to anyone about trying to increase your self esteem a little? Do you have a good support network around you? You're more than welcome to chat about this on the community too of course.

Behi

Behi

Hi again @Tori_Scope
Yeah, I used to go to physiotherapy as well as occupational therapy secessions and my aunt is a physiotherapist as well. I just mean a person who emotionally supports me. Cause in our culture they just learn to say "BE STRONG" like I wasn't strong enough ?, I know I was and I am and I will be.
It is all about the lack of knowledge and wisdom, you know!!! 
I know that life is consists of good and bad events, I just wanted someone who considered my feelings and emotions too.



Now I'm saying all this stuff I'm aware of all that, and the thing that, they've made was, an unreasonable shame in me by their reaction about who I'm.

I'm just sorry for all these years.
I love them, I do. but in some points their behaviors made me hatered towards everyone.
In Conclusions : thier approach was wrong,