I really could do any sort of suggestions. I feel so alone. — Scope | Disability forum
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I really could do any sort of suggestions. I feel so alone.

Warrior_29
Warrior_29 Member Posts: 3 Listener
edited March 2021 in Autism and neurodiversity
I got diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD on Friday. All this time I've been autistic masking without even realising it. I'm trying to get housing or something I really could do with any pointers. I struggle to cope sometimes, doing the washing up yesterday was literally too much and freaked out. I'm living with my parents. I don't know if I can forgive my mum for she said, well denying my diagnosis (ADHD) and saying I shouldn't take meds for ADHD. She also said that she didn't recognise me anymore. I don't feel really great living here. I can't really forgive her, I need my own life. I haven't been able to sleep properly for 5 days, I've been having racing thoughts and stemming constantly. I had a meltdown at a train station the other day. Not great tbh. Hyperventilating and everything. I haven't sleep in 5 days properly really.

Thanks
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  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 7,436 Scope online community team
    Hello @Warrior_29

    Welcome to the community, I'm glad you've joined us. 

    Firstly, I'm glad you were able to get a diagnosis, that's often the first huge step in receiving the help and support you might need. Have you spoken with your specialist about what support might be available to help you with the things you mention in your post? 

    You might wish to consider speaking with the National Autistic Society as well, to see if the extremely knowledgeable people over there have any suggestions for you. For example, they have this page on mental health, which you may find useful in the moments where you feel as though you are struggling.

    Finding housing might be tricky at the minute, but I'm sorry to hear about your current living situation. Is there any way in which your relationship with your mum can be repaired or worked on?

    Whether anybody who isn't you or your health professionals thinks you should or shouldn't be taking medication isn't the most important thing, it's mainly about how you feel and what your health professionals think would benefit you.

    It can be normal to find certain tasks difficult sometimes and I hope you aren't ashamed of this in any way. When situations like the washing up one you describe occur, it's fine to just take a break and come back to it when you feel better.
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  • Warrior_29
    Warrior_29 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Hello @Ross_Scope. Well I think through alot of reflection I'm learning my flaws. I do sometimes use the words NT and ND but it can sometimes be somewhat impersonal. It may be better in fact to describe my personal experience. My downfall is black and white thinking. It's having an overload of emotions not knowing how to precisely direct that flow. So when I posted here I read my message just now and I cringed. I felt like I was in this cacoon trying to protect myself with my flaws. I want it find it in my heart to forgive my mother. However if I were to tell her directly it would break her heart. I need a specialist who can bridge the gap. I don't want to say that as it will hurt her.
  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 7,436 Scope online community team
    Hi @Warrior_29

    How have you been lately? How have things been going?
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