Confused ??? I want to be more confident around others offline

foodie

I lack confedence in chatting face to face with others I get nervous and I feel like I have to put on a act on line it's okay I want to be more confident around others offline as I am online ???

Sandy_123

@foodie I think it's easier on line because you are not in direct contact face to face. I think alot of people feel less confident talking face to face especially if it's someone in authority. I've got a link below to some tips.
https://socialpronow.com/confident-conversation/

janer1967

@foodie I think everyone feels online is certainly easier you can hide behind a keyboard you can also read back what you have said and even delete it and think about it b4 you say it 

I'm not sure what is available but there will be lots literature and possible courses available 

Caz_Alumni

Hi @foodie

Welcome to the community!

You're amongst friends here, so hopefully you will be quite happy talking to everybody in our online community?

And, as you can see, there are a few of us here (including me!) who sometimes lack confidence when it comes to speaking face-to-face with people. In fact, I think that's quite a natural response. 

Anyway, feel free to take a good look around the site and get involved in some more of our online conversations

@Caz_Scope

foodie

Also if you like a recipe let me know I will happily share it with you ??

Dsmout96

Hi @foodie
Do you find its worse in big groups vs one-to-one?

I struggle when finding my place big groups face-to-face, pre lockdown quite often it seemed that everyone is chatting away and I was struggling to as it were "get in on" the conversation. At times it may be that we don't feel that we have anything interesting or relevant to contribute and therefore hold back in case we say something irrelevant or insensitive or get the wrong end of the stick on something.


I would suggest taking every opportunity to interact with people over video calls, experience and practice will only make things easier even though this may be nerve wracking. 

It's worth remembering that even if we do offend somebody, we can always make amends.

We may put an act on if we feel people will not accept us as we are without it, in the end it's important to find people that like us for who we are rather than those who like the false front we put on. 

If you  drop the false front, the people that turn away from you are not worth investing time and energy in and there will be a group of people out there that want to interact with you and couldn't care less about anything that we try to put in the way.

We can all make a choice to believe that someone will accept us for who we are.

Keep going, the lack of interaction is effecting all of us.

Caz_Alumni

Thanks for your post @Dsmout96.

That's a really insightful and thought-provoking contribution to the conversation. Lots to think about there, but I particularly liked the bit where you say...

We may put an act on if we feel people will not accept us as we are without it, in the end it's important to find people that like us for who we are rather than those who like the false front we put on. 

That's the best advice really, isn't it, I suppose? Being yourself. Not always as simple and straightforward as that, I know - but worth knowing and repeating. 

Also, that's a really good point about practising talking to other people. Again, sometimes not easy to do (particularly in lockdown!) but that's the only way I've been able to build up my own confidence in the past.

And of course, the community is a really good place to keep practising talking to other people as well