My mental health. — Scope | Disability forum
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My mental health.

Om sure it cant be only me who has been psychically & sexually abused?
Im meant to go on courses run by my local 
Therapies hub only thing is I can never get on them.
I forgot the first 4 due to my fibro.
Then my Samsung Galaxy phone put itself on mute.
I got online saw people couldnt hear a word.
I started crying & came offline & broke my heart.
These courses are all designed to help me deal with,  depression,anxiety,sleep hygiene,etc.
I really want to do them but its like everything in my life I have to fight to get things.
Like benefits,places ive lived,family & I shouldn't have to  say that about the family I've always loved with all my heart protected as that's what you do with family.
Theyre so selfish especially my Dad,sister & brother.
You haven't met my family.
This is how my medical team describe me.
Kind,very caring,very generous,very loving,
a lovely warm lady.
I cling to that every single day as I try to get through each day I can only take 1 day at a time.
With all these thoughts & feelings,anger,frustration,deep deep sadness,
horror etc.
I just would like some support please.


  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,412

    Scope community team

    edited April 2021
    Hi @Queenofdisabilities

    Those words from your medical team are very complimentary, do try to keep hold of them when those more troubling thoughts enter your mind  <3  You definitely aren't alone in going through your experience and I understand you wanting to talk about it with others.  Just knowing people 'get it' brings a lot of relief, doesn't it? 

    As our community is pan-disability and covers lots of different issues, you might find it beneficial to visit other websites/organisations too, but those who specialise in past sexual/physical abuse.  Some ideas are:
    In addition to this, be sure to tell your care team about those feelings you're experiencing.  Bottling things up makes it so much harder and they are there to help you through.  

    Do you have anything nice planned for the rest of this cold Saturday?  Maybe some hobbies or crafts would be a good distraction and bring some cheer  :)
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  • Wini1960
    Wini1960 Member Posts: 130 Pioneering
    [email protected] sorry that life is tough. I went through physical and sexual abuse. I found NAPAC helpful. I went to a group session in Brill for 12 weeks. I guess however that everything is on hold at the minute. Im experiencing depression at the moment on and off for 30 years but the last few months was amazing for me and i believe on the other side of what you are going through there will be an amazing time coming your way. Like you said take each day at a time, be kind to yourself, everybody's problems is their own at present because you can only deal with your own problems, feelings and emotions. I wish you well stay safe.?
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Member Posts: 122 Pioneering
    edited April 2021
    I have to say,i know the feeling with family! Im part of a large family, we're all really close, and at times i think they're selfish expecting me to go through what has been/is a very unhappy life. I have lived through physical and mental abuse, not family, I've given in to the demon depression several times, suicide attempts, and felt guilty for it. Ive just lost my big bro to covid in February, it hit me like a tornado, i now understand what them losing me would feel like to them,I'm the baby of 7, 5 sisters and my departed brother. I've been depressed as long as I can remember, my last attempt i suppose was a final plee for help, <moderator removed - potentially harmful detail> i was ill for 4 days and racked with guilt for weeks. I got the help for about 2 weeks then nothing. Ive always dealt with my problems myself, and will probably have to for the rest of my life, i personally don't see what anyone can do for me, i dont know why i am so depressed, ive done the talking bit when I was younger, no good. But,as selfish as i think my family are, i know they're there when i need them. I still bottle everything up, but I think about my brother now, how much i miss him. He was the only person I could really open up too,and vice verse. 
     That's how i saw my families as being selfish, good in a way, no-one can improve my life now, the damage is done, but they're there when I need them. I'm really sorry if yours is a different situation. 
  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Member Posts: 5,496 Disability Gamechanger
    I think we are all going through it haveing mental health problems  and depression I tried to committ suicide last week but there is help out there and support 
  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,412

    Scope community team

    edited April 2021
    Hi everyone, sadly there does seem to be a number of people going through mental health issues at the moment @lisathomas50 and I'm glad you received the support you needed last week <3  Also, I've just seen your happy news about getting a new job, well done.  

    @Wini1960 I'm sorry we missed your earlier post and equally sad to hear you have experienced abuse and depression.  Was the abuse ever reported?  I understand you might prefer not to discuss this openly on the community, but if you ever want to talk more about it, please email us on [email protected] so we can be there for you and offer help.  One other organisation who can offer support around abuse via email/online chat/forum is Women's Aid.  

    Also, how is your depression at the moment?  Do you feel like you're getting enough support?  You are right, covid-19 has led to many long waiting lists to access mental health services but please don't hesitate to contact your GP if you feel things might be worsening or you need to talk.  Also, the following organisations are contactable 24/7 should you need them:
    Likewise, our community is always around should you need someone to talk to.  Please let us know how you are.

    @Audinut70 It's nice to see you about on our community and I'm sad to read about what you've also been through in your life.  I know you don't see what anyone can do for you but I promise, there are people who can help.  Just speaking to someone else beyond our family, friends and immediate network can often be such a release and I'd really encourage you to contact your GP to discuss options open to you.  

    In addition to this, and the organisations signposted above, it might help to talk through your grief with someone trained in bereavement support.  You speak about your brother with such love and care and I can't imagine how his loss has affected you, so please do give a thought to reaching out to Cruse and perhaps calling their helpline on 0808 808 1677.  

    Just to mention, I've edited your post to remove reference to how you attempted suicide.  Although I know you did this to offer context, I've removed it to prevent anyone reading from becoming distressed.  Thank you for understanding.  Also, I'll be emailing you soon so please keep an eye on your inbox.

    As a final note - the above advice goes out to all our members, if you're struggling please don't be afraid of getting help.  If you need our support along the way, all you have to do is shout.  There are better times ahead and as a community we are here for you  <3

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  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Member Posts: 5,496 Disability Gamechanger


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