Nervous

Ibelive2020

I lost a baby in 2019 nearly 2 years ágó i do blame myself for hís death éven though i know its nőt my fault hé had edwards syndrome and all of his ínsides was on hís out well Im not coping very well i declined counselling 2 years ago but i have my first session tomorrow but i think im weak by seeing a counseller then so be it 

Cher_Alumni

Hi @Ibelive2020

Aww, I'm so sorry for your loss.  Honestly, it's hard to find the words sometimes and I can't imagine the pain you've been through dealing with your grief.  I'm glad you know that what happened was in no way your fault.  Life can be very unfair 

Accessing counselling is a brilliant next step, and one I'd have encouraged you to pursue, so I'm really glad your appointment is tomorrow.  There's nothing weak about seeking support with mental health and, in my eyes, it's very much the same as visiting the doctor if something feels off physically.  The power of speaking our truth and releasing inner hurt is immense and I think, given time, you'll feel more at peace and able to manage than before.  Your baby will always live on through you too - don't ever forget that 

I'm not sure if you've heard of the Lullaby Trust before but they specialise in bereavement support for those who have lost babies or children.  If you visit the website linked, they have a helpline and lots of resources that might offer some comfort too. 

Sending lots of big squishy hugs and, if you feel comfortable to, please let us know how you get on.  Good luck. 

vikingqueen

          It is 38 years since I laid my baby son to rest and I wish to this day I had taken the help offered. It took me an awful long time to get over his death and counselling would have helped me cope better. I thought because I had my 2 years old son to look after I would be fine, it wasn't the case. I am sure you will benefit from expert advice , even if it only shows you it was not your fault in any way. You are not weak by asking for help, we all need a little now and then. 
     The only advise I can give you is one day you will wake and your baby will be remembered with joy not sadness, encourage your other children to remember him, make a special day of it on his birthday. Time will heal but it takes time xx

Oxonlady

Hi @Ibelive2020, I'm so sorry for your loss. You've done the right thing seeing a counsellor tomorrow, I wish you all the best with it.

There is a Charity called Soft UK which supports specifically parents of babies with Edwards Syndrome. If you'd like to contact them, their website is www.soft.org.uk
They are very experienced about Trisomy and I'm sure they'll reassure you that you are not to blame at all for your baby's illness.
Take care of yourself. 

chiarieds

Thinking about you @Ibelive2020 - I truly hope the counselling helps. I think you're actually very strong to seek help; something we all need at times.

Ibelive2020

Thank you everyone i alsó lost a baby in 2016 at what the midwife said i should of Been 16 weeks bút when they scanned me i sadly lost the baby 5 weeks b4 hand my  little 1s heart stopped at around 11 wks so i had Been walking around with my dead baby inside me nőt knowing my baby had passed weeks b4 then i lost my baby boy in july 2019 I alsó have 6 children 3 with complex needs bút i need be strong for my children i can and will slowly get better thanks everyone of you for your support and kind words means so much tóo me ? xxxx

Caz_Alumni

I'm so sorry for your loss @Ibelive2020.

I echo the sentiments above and our thoughts will be with you for your first appointment with your counsellor today. Yes, certainly it can be a big step talking to somebody else about your feelings of grief, but I hope that having that conversation brings some release for you. 

Take care and take things one step at a time. We're here whenever you want to talk.

Ibelive2020

Thank you @Caz_Scope im so sorry woodbine i dönt think i will éver get over the loss of my babies my baby i lost in 2016 I lost in my bathroom at home its still áll raw xxx

Ibelive2020

I hemmoraged really bad i just miss my babies so much i often think about them and áll the what ifs etc i hope my babies áré dancing in heaven and waiting for me i love them so much xxx