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How to start a conversation about depression

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Ria_porter16
Ria_porter16 Community member Posts: 3 Listener
Hi, 

I suffer with depression as a result of losing my grandad to cancer. We are approaching the 1st anniversary which is on the 20th of May. For the last year I have struggled to talk about how I feel, say ok when I’m not and cry my tears behind closed doors. I have always had a problem with opening up about how I feel but my situation over this last year has made it even harder for me. 

How do you open up and start a conversation about how you feel? It is something I have always had a problem with. I try so hard to be there for others and put everyone else first that I often put my own feelings aside and feel like I need to deal with them on my own,  but since suffering with depression it has been even harder to talk. 

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  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Ria_porter16

    Welcome to the community, and thank you for speaking openly about how you feel. I'm sorry to hear of the passing of your grandad, I've also lost a grandparent to cancer and I understand how devastating it can be.

    Have you ever sought support for your grief and depression?If not, I would advise speaking with your GP to see if they can do anything for you. Also, you can view some information here from the NHS about getting support to overcome grief, and read some information here from Mind about grief and mental health.

    I think you've taken a super step here by making this post, and I don't think that should be underestimated. Everyone on this forum is welcoming and supportive, and we all want the best for you, but I imagine that your loved ones would be even more supportive if they knew how you felt. 

    It seems as though the past year has been a very tricky one for you, and it's hard to say exactly how you should start that conversation about how you feel, but just know that the people in your life, and health professionals, are always there to have that conversation.

    Likewise, this community is here for you too if you ever fancy a chat.
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  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,832 Disability Gamechanger
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    They do say (and I tend to agree) that the first year after someones death is the hardest for their loved ones, the anniversary of their birthday, the first Christmas without them etc etc.
    I lost my grandad 48 years ago but I still think about him.

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  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community member Posts: 7,944 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @Ria_porter16 and welcome to the community! I'm terribly sorry to read about the passing of your Grandad, my thoughts are with you and your family.

    If you feel uncomfortable about starting to open up, have you thought about writing a letter explaining how you are and have been feeling? It's never easy starting a conversation about depression, or grief, but as Ross has said, you've taken the first big step (which in most cases is the most daunting). You've started a conversation with us (currently strangers, but i'm sure in time become friends), and we as a community will support you and never judge you.

    Thinking of you :heart:
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
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    Good morning @Ria_porter16

    How are you today? Have you found the comments here helpful?
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  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,505 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello and welcome to the community @Ria_porter16 :)

    I just wanted to add that it can sometimes be easier to talk things through with strangers at first, as that can help you to become more confident in talking about difficult topics such as depression. 

    Writing a letter is a really good suggestion from Ami2301. Perhaps you could add a few ideas of things you'd want to cover here, and we can help you to put something together? 
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