Thanks for making me feel a 1000 times worse! — Scope | Disability forum
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Thanks for making me feel a 1000 times worse!

[Deleted User]
[Deleted User] Posts: 0 Pioneering
Well, I did used to come on here to try and feel better but after being called garbled I'm now not so sure? 
Some folk on here, gamechanger or not, really don't help the cause. 
United we are, or if not, we,ll fall I'm afraid. See ya.


  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,923 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm really sorry to read this @givingup :disappointed: have you reported this to the community team?
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • calcotti
    calcotti Member Posts: 2,983 Disability Gamechanger
    Ami2301 said:
    I'm really sorry to read this @givingup :disappointed: have you reported this to the community team?
    The relevant thread has been closed by a moderator.
    Information I post is for England unless otherwise stated. Rules may be different in other parts of UK.
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,213 Disability Gamechanger
    @givingup sorry to hear you have been  upset don't let that put you off we are here for you 
    Here to help with my experience in hunan resources and employment rights 
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,445 Disability Gamechanger
    I suspect a thread started to critique another poster (me) will be a clear breach of forum rules. I reported the original thread after a post containing personal abuse. That now seems likely to continue here. The original thread remains visible so it’s possible for all to see that the poster was not called garbled but the post certainly was. If anyone else would like to make sense of what was posted then feel free but a thread like this is not the way to respond and it never will be.
  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 4,912

    Scope community team

    Hi @givingup

    I'm sorry to read that you feel this way, it certainly isn't the intention of our members, or myself, to cause you to feel worse when coming on the community. 

    Our inbox is always open, so please feel free to drop us an email to [email protected] if you fancy a chat about this, I hope we can get things resolved so that you can continue to enjoy the community. As @janer1967 says, we are here for you, and want to support you.

    Take care
    Online Community Coordinator

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.

    Talk to our chatbot and give us feedback on the community.
  • Jean Eveleigh
    Jean Eveleigh Member Posts: 156 Pioneering
    Hi GivingUp

    I read the bedroom tax thread you started, I apologize I wasn't on earlier.

    I think your problem is in addressing the person living with you as your partner i.e. living together as man and wife rather than as your carer the two links below may be of some use to you.

    It would also help if you have been assessed by social services as needing this overnight care regardless of if they provide it or not.
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,445 Disability Gamechanger
    edited May 9
    Absolutely appalled this thread has not only remained open but been commented on by a moderator. No comment on the abuse which closed the other thread. No suggestion this thread might be a breach. Incredible. Okay, we’ll if that’s the game we’re playing…

    Here’s the quote from the original thread.

    ”I’m afraid your language on this is utterly garbled.”

    Struggling to see any abuse or insult in there. 

    Now let’s look at what I was talking about.

    “The dwp is different because the government is breaking it's own rules on disabled rights, the bedroom tax isn't just about the disabled it's about poorer people in society as a whole so that's a different kettle of fish.”

    Anyone want to guess what’s being said in that first sentence? No, me neither. In what way does “utterly garbled” misrepresent it? I absolutely stand by the word as an accurate adjective. In what way does it breach the site T&Cs? Oh, it doesn’t. Personal attacks do. So, what was said in response? Oh yes, let me see.

    ”Go away man. Not interested in you. Get off my post. You sound garbled to me mate.”.

    Anyone want to vote for that being an appropriate response? Anyone think that’s the sound of someone being made to feel “1000 times worse”. Nope, sounds like a hissy fit to me from someone who didn’t like it being pointed out he’d need not have any BT shortfall if he’d just kept claiming DHPs. 

    Can’t imagine why experienced posters leave this forum. Once again moderation by reaction rather than moderation to a standard. 
  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Posts: 4,584 Disability Gamechanger
    I would take offence at that becsuse it can be read different ways 
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,445 Disability Gamechanger
    edited May 9
    I see. And would you not take offence at the subsequent response then? 

    Anything can be read different ways Lisa if you so choose. There is nothing which can be written in a forum which can’t be misinterpreted but… it is a choice and not by default the fault of the poster. People rarely take real offence. They pick and choose as suits them and usually with a large dose of hypocrisy involved. 

    Explaining to someone that they have written something which makes no sense at all is by any measure critical to moving a conversation on. If a point is made which is literally incomprehensible then what exactly do you think the response ought to have been?

    I’ve yet to see anyone explain the sentence in question and discussing with others the word which came up repeatedly was “garbled”. It’s not an insult. It’s an adjective. I would love to hear you or anyone else explain that sentence. At best you’d be guessing. Why? Because it is garbled.

    Ultimately the poster chose to claim offence as it gave them a reason to both ignore and diminish what was being said and to indulge in personal abuse. Starting a thread like this is about nothing more than continuing that abuse once the original thread was closed. That’s the uncomfortable truth here. Anyone with an interest in the future of this forum should be expressing concern right now that this is live and still exists as a thread.
  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Posts: 4,584 Disability Gamechanger
    I only meant that  it could be taken the wrong way  but the poster shouldn't throw personal attacks 

    What I would like to say is I am private rent I have three bedrooms  only use one bedroom private rent  don't pay bedroom tax it goes on how much rent you are allowed  my house is now 550.00 rent universal credit only pay 450.00 I have to pay the rest  because the landlord put my rent up by 50.00  before it was 500.00 so I paid 50.00 

    The poster has said they are private rent so in thst case there is no bedroom tax  I could live in a ten bedroom house  i would only have to pay the extra rent 

    My friend lives in private rent and has 6 bedrooms 4 not in use  her rent is 550.00 the same as mine so she only pays 100.00 towards her rent its not bedroom tax 
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Pioneering
    It seems to me that certain people on here think everything they say is correct and aren't capable of just saying I disagree and leave it at that. 
    They believe they are perfect and other people are stupid, these people have a lot to learn about mental health , they may be clever at the way they write on here and think others are not allowed to post .
    I'm much better at talking in person than writing on forums , that's just the way it is. 
    Anyway, I've had enough on here , I've got enough problems as it is without being insulted by someone who should know better?
    Why are you still posting on my post if you don't like me? It's obvious to me that you think your far superior to most on here?  Do you enjoy picking on people with mental health issues or what? 
    And if you think I'm garbled that's your problem not mine!
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 10,466 Disability Gamechanger
    I would like to say that I appear to be the 4th 'Disability Gamechanger' that has commented on this thread (having tried to help this poster on another thread). This is a name which you get after making a certain number of posts, etc. We don't ask to get this name, it's something this online community of Scope do. Yet again someone who has a grievance thinks 'we' are all against them, which couldn't be further from the truth. What can unfortunately happen is that a person takes umbrage when given facts they disagree with, or dislikes how it was presented despite a person trying to help, I too am concerned; whilst trying to help I have received abuse, whilst Mike, who has a wealth of experience, has received way more. Continuing another thread where personal abuse has already happened serves no purpose, & another disparaging comment had already been made prior to this by this poster about volunteering in the community.
    As has been said previously, this is not your post, rather what you've mentioned in a public forum, which invites comments. I'm sorry you don't realise that Mike was trying to help.
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,445 Disability Gamechanger
    edited May 9
    Right, so you’ve had enough but back you come. You want to lob around personal insults such as the one quoted above from the other thread and then think you can bully other people by starting threads about them. Better still you think you’ll get away with posting that by using vague passive aggressive phrases like “certain people”. Let’s call that what it is. It’s about me specifically and it’s an attempt to gets little crowd support around a bit of bullying.

    If my specific issue is that I’m not
    capable of just saying I disagree and leave it at that. 
    then why not say you disagree and hit the ignore button? Practise what you preach. People who use phrases like 
    these people
    are generally the ones who look down on others and assume they’re stupid. 

    No-one is picking on you by asking you to clarify the meaning of a sentence. No-one has asked you not to post. You have been asked to stop posting insults. No-one has has said they don’t like you. No-one has insulted you. You literally posted a sentence that was garbled and I asked for clarity in order to address whatever the point was.

    I’m going to be blunt with regards to the sentence 
    Do you enjoy picking on people with mental health issues or what? 
    My polite version is that it is a cheap shot. Everyone on here has some kind of health issue or impairment. None of us acquire a free pass because of that which enables us to lob personal insults at others. You’re no different to anyone else here. 
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Pioneering
    edited May 9
    Chiarieds when have I abused you ?What puzzles me is why Mike called me garbled? Is that helping?  Anyway, if you wish to ban me then go ahead. 
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Pioneering
    I,ll be glad when I'm dead, no more worries about money, place to live, not having to worry about what people think of me on here, no more health problems, god I can't wait.
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Testing team Posts: 8,074

    Scope community team

    Closed, pending review in the morning.
    Community Manager

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
  • Cher_Inactive
    Cher_Inactive Posts: 4,414

    Scope community team

    After review, this thread will remain closed. 

    We ask all our members to abide by the community house rules to ensure our community can remain a friendly and supportive space for disabled people.  However, where conversation turns negative, this shared goal becomes compromised.   As a result, it is important when constructing posts:

    • To keep comments directed around content, rather than personal attacks.
    • To be mindful of phrasing/language that could be construed as insensitive.

    If you see any comments that you feel breach the house rules, then please avoid responding in the heat of the moment.  Instead, use the ‘report’ facility at the bottom of individual posts – click the flag, then report – to notify the admin team and allow you some space. 

    If you would prefer not to see posts from any individual member, you can also use the ignore function

    To clarify the ‘gamechangers’ status is not individually awarded, rather it is automatically applied when any member reaches 1000 points.  Points are accumulated via engagement on the community, for instance – by replying to posts, starting threads, etc.  Irrespective of this, the house rules apply to all. 

    @Givingup I’m sorry to hear you feel that way and am going to be emailing you very soon to discuss how we can support you.  Please keep an eye on your inbox. 

    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the online community?  Talk to our chatbot and let us know.

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
This discussion has been closed.


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