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Bit deflated

coylygirl
coylygirl Member Posts: 282 Pioneering
Saw my CPN for the 2nd time today (I see her once every fortnight) and showed her my diary which I have been keeping since the beginning of May. I write a brief summary of my day then record Food, booze, snooze and mood, as well as miles walked (I'm on a bit of a mission with that). So the thing she focused on was that I drank for 3 consecutive days (10 units in total which is equivalent to a bottle of wine). No mention of the 10 days that I didn't drink or how well I'm doing with my walking - 64 miles since 1 May. I feel really deflated by her attitude and guilty that I had a few glasses of wine with friends. She's an ex recovery worker and I thought the idea was to focus on the positive - more carrot than stick. It's the 2nd time she's made me feel bad and at fault, and she also talks more than she listens. Think I'm gonna have to say something to her next time we speak, but not sure how to address it 

Comments

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,290 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi 

    Sorry the visit made you feel deflated and I fo tend to agree there are more positive to discuss and encourage you to continue 

    I think sometimes if they have worked in that role they tend to focus on that probably as they know how it can get out of control 

    But she should listen and not j6dt dwell on that 

    I would suggest you talk to her maybe put in your diary how you feel after the visit she xan read it then 

    Hope you get it sorted 
    Here to help with my experience in hunan resources and employment rights 
  • coylygirl
    coylygirl Member Posts: 282 Pioneering
    Thank you for that.  I was thinking of just mentioning it briefly in tonight's journal entry.  I'm not good at confrontation but I will raise the subject.  My mood score will be just that little bit lower today.

    Hope you are well and getting the support you need  <3
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,290 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm good thanks for asking 


    Here to help with my experience in hunan resources and employment rights 
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 10,560 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @coylygirl - it's good to hear from you again. I'm very sorry to read that your CPN didn't focus on your achievements, which are considerable. It's also unfortunate that she 'talks more than listens,' which shouldn't be the case. All I can say is my congratulations in doing so well, & know you are doing so. Remain positive above all. My best wishes. :)
  • coylygirl
    coylygirl Member Posts: 282 Pioneering
    Thank you so much for that kind affirmation.  I think I just wanted some validation from her but she had her alcohol recovery head on.  I am proud of the progress I made and I think I need to focus on that voice in my head.  My best wishes to you to @chiarieds <3
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Member Posts: 1,985 Pioneering
    Hi @coylygirl I was only thinking about you earlier,that I haven't seen you on here for awhile. Nice to see you back. Wow 64 miles walking thats some achievement, well done you. I would mention it to your cpn how you are feeling about your meetings. If not can you change who you see? 

  • coylygirl
    coylygirl Member Posts: 282 Pioneering
    Thanks @Sandy_123.  That's really nice that you were thinking about me, thought I could detect good vibes!  Hope you are ok.  I've tonight started making notes in the back of my journal about things to mention to my CPN which will hopefully make our meetings more productive and less destructive.  Alcohol is not an issue for me (ATM which is why I keep a note), and I found the focus quite triggering.  Hope you are well and getting the support you need and deserve x
  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 4,971

    Scope community team

    You absolutely have so much to be proud of @coylygirl and you are doing brilliantly. Might be a good idea to speak with your CPN about the issue if it keeps happening, the last thing you want is for them to make you feel worse.
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  • coylygirl
    coylygirl Member Posts: 282 Pioneering
    Thanks Ross, I think I will say how I feel in a gently way.  To be fair, she is generally kind, just maybe speaks before she thinks.  I have started making notes in the back of my journal of things to speak to her about
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 5,996

    Scope community team

    That sounds like a good plan @coylygirl :) 
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  • coylygirl
    coylygirl Member Posts: 282 Pioneering
    Thanks Tori, I'm trying to manage my own care with the support of the professionals so I'm attempting to do things that are good for my head.  I've taken a mental health day today as I've already walked 64 miles this month and I've done some things that I enjoy, plus signed up for a couple of workshops that run next week. I've just noticed the self-management board on here so will take a look at that too x
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 5,996

    Scope community team

    That's great @coylygirl :) Taking time out is definitely really important. The workshops sound good. What are they on? 
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  • coylygirl
    coylygirl Member Posts: 282 Pioneering
    @Tori_Scope Drumming - of all things, and meditation and mindfulness.  I am also booked in for a gong sound bath which is at the end of June.  I have experienced sound therapy before and it is just soooooo relaxing.  Really looking forward to that
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 5,996

    Scope community team

    Oh lovely, that all sounds good @coylygirl. I don't really know anything about sound therapy, but it's great that you find it so relaxing! 

    Do you use any of the mindfulness apps?
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  • Caz_Alumni
    Caz_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 624 Pioneering
    Hello @coylygirl

    We haven't met properly or spoken to each other yet, I don't think? My name's Caz. Nice to meet you. :)

    I can only echo a lot of what has already been said. Plus, it sounds like you're taking a really proactive approach to managing your own wellbeing. And you're right. That's something that should be recognised and celebrated. In which case, I'm sorry to hear that your CPN wasn't as positive about that as you would have hoped for. But, on the plus side, she seems like a kind person as you say. So, maybe it's just a case of broaching how you feel in conversation, or even better, in your diary. That sounds like a good idea. 

    The other thing is, I think that often you are your own best judge of your ups-and-downs. So, if you feel like you're making progress, then that's often the most important thing to focus on. The more positive you feel in yourself, the more likely you are to keep going. :)

    Last thing, drumming! Absolutely brilliant. Hope you enjoy that!

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  • coylygirl
    coylygirl Member Posts: 282 Pioneering
    Oh thank you so much for your reply @Caz_Scope.  You have made me feel so much more positive about myself on a wet Sunday and it's nice to meet you too.  I am definitely looking forward tot the drumming - just have to find the venue!  I have a friend who is an ex recovery worker and will ask her opinion too, but I have had some very good advice on here.  Hope you enjoy your Sunday afternoon and take care x

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