Does being disabled affect you in any way? — Scope | Disability forum
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Does being disabled affect you in any way?

Channi
Channi Member Posts: 6 Listener
Hi guys I have felt that it is difficult out in the world with a disability and finding it difficult to adjust around other people and make friends does anyone else have this issue? 

Comments

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,381 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi there 

    It is difficult when you can't do some of the same things friends can do 

    I also find like others that becoming disabled shows who your true friends are and many just forget you still exist 

    Lockdown  hadn't helped 

    I do have a small group of friends and that's all I need 

    You have to get yourself put there join groups even if just online 
    I have professional experience in HR within public,  private, and charity sectors.  If I can't help I will
  • Channi
    Channi Member Posts: 6 Listener
    What type of groups are available I don't know of any
  • coylygirl
    coylygirl Member Posts: 282 Pioneering
    @channi Hi there, what kind of things are you interested in and what kind of limitations do you feel you have?  Often adaptations can be made to enable inclusivity.  I have a mental health disability and find crowds distressing.  I can often get a free ticket to events so that a friend can attend as a carer to help keep me calm in busy situations.  There is a lot online, from discussion groups to educational courses to general interests.  I try not to let my disability limit me in what I do but I know it's different for everyone.  Hope that gives you a few ideas  :)
  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,538 Disability Gamechanger
    Every day in a million small ways and every so often in very big ways indeed.
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,357 Disability Gamechanger
    My disability robbed me of my career, it took away many of my friends, it affected my son who went off the rails, I could go on but you get the idea, now I just wake up thankful that I will see a new day.
    I am a person with epilepsy not an epileptic, my illness doesn't define me.
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 6,151

    Scope community team

    Are you looking specifically for groups for other disabled people, or social groups in general @Channi
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  • Dragonslayer
    Dragonslayer Community Co-Production Group Posts: 1,549 Pioneering
    Not being able to do the simple things in life, like taking a walk, shopping, going to a pub. Then the bigger things like flying and going overseas.
  • WestHam06
    WestHam06 Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,389 Pioneering
    Hi @Channi
                        Welcome to the community and thank you for joining us. How are you? I am sorry to hear of the difficulties you have been facing, sometimes being disabled can be difficult in the outside world. Please may I ask, what are your interests? Often, when finding a shared hobby or interest can help to create conversations with others. Please may I also ask, are you currently part of any groups? We have lots of conversations happening here on the community, please do join in if you feel you would like too? Also, please do ask any questions you may have and we will do our best to answer. We are a friendly community and here to support one another. Thank you. 
  • wilko
    wilko Member Posts: 2,415 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello, my disability ended my working life completely. But while awaiting my diagnosis I prepared myself mentally that I will never work again and with 5 years to retirement and reduced to using mobility scooters to walk the dog and on trips out.  I have found no harassment only friendliness from fellow dog walkers who sometimes see daily or monthly. My local Co-Op are great I wait outside, phone the shop and my milk order is brought out and placed in the basket. Card payment every time never any issues staff most helpful.
  • Popdiva43
    Popdiva43 Member Posts: 143 Pioneering
    hello.im 43 years old,before i got my disability,i was a homecarer,enjoying my life,loved going out being independent,loved driving,but thats all now been taken away from me,cant even manage to take my 7 year old to the park,my self worth has plumerted,my situation is only going to get worse,so i know how you feel.
  • DaddyBear
    DaddyBear Member Posts: 35 Connected
    @Channi I hear people laugh at me the way I walk. I sometimes feel old, I am 56, I use to be so active, all I can say is I am still mobile, not feel sorry for myself, and  try make new friends, like on here.😀😀😀😎😎😎😎😁😁😁
  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 5,005

    Scope community team

    Hello @Popdiva43

    I'm sorry to read how you feel at the minute, it's a shame that your self-worth isn't too good at the moment but I can assure you that you are valued on here. Do you receive any support to help you carry out daily tasks? And are you in contact with your GP about your mental health?
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  • Popdiva43
    Popdiva43 Member Posts: 143 Pioneering
    Hi Ross_Scope thanks for your message, my daughter helps round the house, my gp has put me on anti depressants, I think having to wait to hear about when my pip tribunal will be is also having an effect on me, as scored 0 points, it's just hard to see if there is any light at the end of the tunnel. 
  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 5,005

    Scope community team

    I can understand that @Popdiva43, it can sometimes feel like that with PIP claims, especially when the claim doesn't initially go your way. Keeping fighting for what you deserve though and I'm sure you'll get there! I'm glad you have a supportive daughter, you must be very proud of her, and it's good to hear that your GP is supporting you. Ensure you speak with them again if you feel as though your current treatment isn't as effective as you'd like
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  • Channi
    Channi Member Posts: 6 Listener
    Hi everyone my disability affects my walk and I can't walk without an aid I am slower than normal people so I struggle to go out on my own my interests are listening to music, I enjoy watching movies, playing computer games, I want to join groups with people who have a disability if you have any suggestions please let me know tia

  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 6,151

    Scope community team

    Hi @Channi :) Many groups are specific to your location, and might be specific to your condition too. You don't have to tell us where you're based or what your condition is, but using those specific search terms might help you to find a relevant group, e.g. social group for people with cerebral palsy in Leeds. 

    You could also try using more generic websites such as Meetup to find local groups that interest you. I've seen ones especially for disabled people on there before too. 
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  • 3PARKWAY3
    3PARKWAY3 Member Posts: 35 Connected
    My autism stops me from going out in the very same way. Crowds of people send me paranoid, and I dont like being at social events. mixing in pubs, even going to the shops.  I have coped by having something to be interested in. At the moment, it Marquetry. I find I must completely immerse myself in a hobby at a time. I read everything and check out Youtube videos to get every way of doing this hobby. I have been inspired and have produced a few good peices of work. It makes me happy inside that I have made something to the best of my ability that I can show myt family..beleive me, it works !!!
  • kosh77
    kosh77 Member Posts: 3 Listener
    If i am honest, becoming disabled at 20 has pretty much ruined my whole life.  No relationship, marriage, sex or even close friends. It is sooooo difficult. I am now 63 and no one wants to know an old, disabled man. The simple truth, sadly. Not a positive thing to say i know, but that is my reality.
  • HanzRolo
    HanzRolo Member Posts: 47 Connected
    I dropped out of school with the lack of support with dyslexia.  I dropped out of college when they agreed that was probably what was going on.  Went out to work.  Then the economic crash happened, so I went back to college, got the diagnosis of dyslexia and the support I needed for college and university to work towards the career I was hoping for.  Finally got the job I'd worked so hard for and BAM!  I have chronic pain and can barely walk to the shop and back or stand for more than 10 minutes without being in pain.  Now I've no idea what I want to do but all the jobs I've been successful in, I've worked standing on my feet such as in a shop.  It's like having the carpet pulled from underneath you.
  • kelics
    kelics Member Posts: 84 Courageous
    Of course it does :D
  • shazzawood
    shazzawood Member Posts: 30 Connected
    Like many of you I have found it hard since having a disability.i have always worked as a carer looking after the elderly with dementia were I have worked lots of hours. The past 2 years I have worked in independent living..i loved my job very much but now not able to carry I.have also noticed that alot of my work friends don't get in touch any more..makes me feel very low at times .
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 6,151

    Scope community team

    I'm sorry to hear that @shazzawood. Have you tried joining any online social groups for people based in your area? That can be a good way of meeting new people who are keen to build friendships either online or in-person. Are you a member of any clubs, or able to attend any classes? Meeting people through a shared hobby is another good way of connecting with likeminded people.
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  • shazzawood
    shazzawood Member Posts: 30 Connected
    Thankyou tori ..when my confidence builds back up I will look for things in my community.this site is my first on line site which I am enjoying the experience so far..in time I will look into others
  • Ross_Scope
    Ross_Scope Posts: 5,005

    Scope community team

    Glad to hear you are enjoying the community @shazzawood :) 
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  • dave392
    dave392 Member Posts: 42 Courageous
    Hi before my disabilities I was very active football referee hgv driver now I’m lucky to get down stairs from my flat fingers crossed things may improve when I get my surgeries for my cervical spine and hips although lungs will never get better,but I try to stay positive knowing tomorrow is a new day 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,622 Disability Gamechanger
    I think by definition disability affects everyone who is disabled. If it didn't they wouldn't be disabled.

    If someone had a problem that meant they couldn't walk along a tight rope, or eat sushi, for example, and that was the extent of their problems, not much adjustment is needed to life a normal life, so they are not really disabled.

    However by definition being disabled means most of us have issues with doing basic things that "able bodied (and minded)" people do every day and take for granted - could be any of eating, sleeping, walking, driving, socialising, working etc. and many more.
  • kelics
    kelics Member Posts: 84 Courageous
  • kelics
    kelics Member Posts: 84 Courageous

    Ok I decided to write a more specific comment rather than just 'of course it does".


    I used to be quite healthy and active and free until about my mid 20's. Now I have Progressive MS and literally the whole world is upside down, my disability affects me in every way, both physically and mentaly. Everything is tough, the disease is progressing, and living with the thoughts that you are 32 and might not be able to move again at one point of your life is a bit scary not gonna lie, but there's always hope that this will never happen :D. I look perfectly normal so maybe some think I just have a sore leg, and have such an easy life sitting at home, but the reality is the only time I'm not suffering is when my conscience is asleep.


    To end it on a positive note, I do hope some day my mind will find some peace.


    Have a great day everyone!

    Peace out \/

  • WestHam06
    WestHam06 Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,389 Pioneering
    Hi @Channi,
                         Thank you for sharing a little about yourself. Please can I ask, what music do you enjoy listening too? Also, please can I ask, do you have a favourite movie? Thank you.

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