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Gratitude/positivity list

Emilyb81
Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
Hi everyone :smile:
I was just sat thinking about how crappy I have been feeling recently due to my mental and physical health and all added stresses of pip appeals etc? And I just released that we people tend to spend much of our time/ discussing or thinking about the things we can't do or struggle to do? The places we fail and how negative every day things and situations can be? I just think maybe more time should be spent looking at the things we struggle with but do anyway? Or the things we keep trying at? Something a bit more focused on the positive rather than all the negative nonsense that's in our faces all day long! So I just remembered I used to do a gratitude list every night before bed and also used to do it when I started to feel myself getting dragged down in the day? And honestly in my experience it's very hard to stay peed off etc when feeling truly grateful? And I'm not talking about major mahoosive things either? To some (like me) even getting out of bed is a mission most days so if I've managed to do it anyway no matter how long it took its still a win? So I'm going to just leave this here with a few things I am grateful for today and I don't know maybe it can or will help another person? So add some if you like......plan is to get a big post full of gratitude πŸŒΊπŸ™πŸ€žπŸ˜ŽπŸ˜
πŸ‘πŸ˜Š So number 1 is I managed to make food without burning myself or it today!
2 is I have got through to nearly 8pm without freaking out at anyone or myself πŸ˜‚ or crying or embarrassing myself in any way that I'm aware of anyway! (I guess that's 3 things in one but nevermind!)Β 
 3 I took my medication today without forgetting and finally.... 4th thing I'm grateful for is this forum because I didn't used to have anywhere to really be myself and not be judged like a complete weirdo or at least I think people are judging me but probably more my stuff than the truth! Anyhoo it's just good to know there are places out there to come and get advice, maybe try to help others and just be able to not spend every minute of the day in a lonely headspace! Thanks peeps! Take care all and stay safe ❀️

Comments

  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    Also if someone else has already posted similar to this I'm sorry I'm new ish πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ˜‚
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    Wow I say "so" a lot lol OK no more negative I'm off nite nite guys xx
  • lisathomas50
    lisathomas50 Posts: 4,584 Disability Gamechanger
    I always try and look on the positive sideΒ  and do things I can do if we dwell on what we can't do we wouldn't get any whereΒ 
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 10,466 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you for a great post @Emilyb81 - I think it's always good to look at the positives, & even if they're small, they are still an achievement. :)
  • Ami2301
    Ami2301 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 7,923 Disability Gamechanger
    No judgement from us @Emilyb81 :)Β 

    I'm grateful for the phrase 'little and often' as I've been struggling to write an article recently, it's quite an in-depth one which I've not done in a long time so a bit rusty. But I'm writing and adding to it little and often and I'm over halfway through it now :)
    Disability Gamechanger - 2019
  • leeCal
    leeCal Member Posts: 4,222 Disability Gamechanger
    Well I managed a walk today with a friend and his elderly dog Tilly. Sheesh the poor old gal was less fit than me, hot day though.Β 

    So I was grateful for the company and I got a walk, two positives.
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,549 Disability Gamechanger
    Great post :) I agree by its nature as a disability forum we often look talk about what we can't do so it's good to look at the positives.

    Well done on your achievements to the OP and everyone else. :)
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    edited June 10
    Thanks @66Mustang and everyone else who has replied! :smile:
    I was sat thinking yesterday I am on such a downer and was trying to figure out why that may be? I mean obviously when you suffer from depression it's kind of a "normal" thing to feel low etc but this was different? And it dawned on me that for the past couple of months all I've been thinking about or writing about is my limitations and what is rubbish about my existence?! And I know that we have to do that in these applications but if someone is already feeling **** constantly then all this process is just going to make things worse? So I remember doing this gratitude list every night before bed and it helped me pull myself out of the "I'm a useless b***h" hole I get into! It isn't easy though I have realised since yesterday that finding positives and admitting them is so alien for me and probably others too? It's so strange how easy it is to find the negative but it takes so much more effort and energy to find positives? It's almost like I'm programmed to think that way! It's the same as when people say it's easier to believe bad things people say rather than good things or easier to hear?
    I wonder if that why people say cbt may help me? I think that's about changing our thinking? I need some kind of retraining my brain therapy :lol:
    Anyhoo thanks peeps definitely spent more time acknowledging the positives today so this post was a good idea (even that is so hard for me I just deleted it and retyped it lol can't even say I've done something right without judging myself!) take care and stay safe :sunglasses:Β 
  • WestHam06
    WestHam06 Member, Scope Volunteer Posts: 1,380 Pioneering
    Hi @Emilyb81,Β 
    Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Thank you for sharing your experiences with us and for starting this great post. We are all unique and have something positive to offer :) Thank you.
  • innocent21
    innocent21 Posts: 35 Connected
    Hello Emily yes it' always good to try to stay positive and try not to compare yourself to others. Thanks for sharing. I hope you get accepted for PIP.
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    Going to add a few things because again been kind of swept away with all the doom and gloom that comes with mental and physical illness! I just don't know how to avoid that! I guess I need to find a way to stop myself when I start to feel like I'm beginning to go down that path before it's too late to turn back if that makes sense? Rather than being in a negative headspace for 2 days?!Β 
    But for today I've managed to do a few things over the weekend that I've been struggling to do and putting off for a while!
    So I finally managed to change my flipping bed sheets! Although it has taken me since Monday morning!! But yes I finally managed to get the old one off and new one on woohoo πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ˜‚
    I also sent my mums birthday card and she actually got it on time! Normally I buy the cards for people and write them but they sit on table or shelf with the address written on them etc no stamp and because its so hard to get to nearest post office I don't manage to send any of them? Then I beat myself up as usual for being useless etc! But this time I got it posted and she received it the day before so its a year when I don't have to keep being told its the thought that counts?! πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ‘πŸ˜Š
    And finally today I have had a coffee and eaten sort of brunch late breakfast and taken most of my medication on time!! So all in all today is looking like should or could be described as a good day? Fingers crossed we all have a fab Sunday! Big hugs peeps and stay safe! β€οΈπŸ‘πŸ™πŸ€žπŸ˜Ž
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,549 Disability Gamechanger
    Sounds like a productive day @Emilyb81, well done :)

    I'm writing an assignment for a course that I am studying so hopefully it will be a productive day for me :smiley:
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    edited June 13
    Yes sounds like it will be @66Mustang
    I hope you can get your assignment done! You have reminded me that I started writing a poem yesterday I stopped halfway and got distracted which happens quite a lot! It's amazing the amount of part written poems or to do lists I find dotted about the place! :lol:
    So thankyou I will finish that today! Its good to focus on something else for a while :smile:
    Have a great Sunday! :sunglasses:Β 
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    And writing doesn't make me out of breath so that's another bonus πŸ‘πŸ˜ŠπŸŒžΒ 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,549 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks :)

    Ha ha that is funny. I get distracted quite easily as well. I just do a little bit at a time, I find that works well for me :)
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    Sorry flipping tagged wrong person ha I've corrected it now and sorry for mentioning wrong person @mustang67 I blame Sunday :lol:Β 
    and @66Mustang I always get distracted easily and I've previously tried to continue on with writing I've found half done but by that time I've normally forgotten what had inspired me in first place so it's not possible! But nevermind! This is the reason I struggle with diaries so much it literally takes one different thought and my brains gone I'm googling or trying to remember something else! It's all good fun :smile:Β 
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community Co-Production Group Posts: 5,549 Disability Gamechanger
    Yeah that makes sense about forgetting what inspired you in the first place.

    What about combining several unfinished pieces of work into some kind of "patchwork" piece of writing. I don't know how that would turn out but might be a bit of fun :DΒ 
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    Good idea saves it just being thrown away/wasted πŸ‘ will start keeping them together! Being a hoarder too it's easier for me to keep them anyway hate throwing things out πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ see? All good fun :lol:
    Have a great day hun! 🌞
  • languagelover96
    languagelover96 Member Posts: 6 Listener
    Emilyb81 said:
    Good idea saves it just being thrown away/wasted πŸ‘ will start keeping them together! Being a hoarder too it's easier for me to keep them anyway hate throwing things out πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ see? All good fun :lol:
    Have a great day hun! 🌞
    Try a cardboard box
  • Dragonslayer
    Dragonslayer Community Co-Production Group Posts: 1,523 Pioneering
    Hi @Emilyb81
    There are days, many of them when I feel down and feel sorry for myself, I am on Kemo, need a hip replacement. I'm losing my hair, have bad blood marks on my forearms. Swollen ankles, ringing in the ears. It's hard to even put shoes on, so I don't at times, wearing slippers instead. I can't walk without pain from back trouble also and struggle to walk even yards.
    It is a struggle to get out of bed, but I do. First positive thing of the day. Go downstairs take drugs, many of them, get breakfast, second positive thing. Wash dishes, with one hand, other used to balance on the sink. Third thing. Get on here and enjoy it. Started to write a story. Fourth thing Go out for a run in the car, listening to rock music. Fifth positive thing.
    And so, it goes on, bad times and thoughts outweighed by positive things. Thing's others take for granted. Everyone for me, positive and makes me feel alive. 😁
    Big positive thing coming up, holiday in Cornwall. Driving there. I have no idea how I will get around once there, but I will, relying on my walker, I will go to restaurants, make sure my wife has a great time. Don't think I'll try to get on the beach though, sand and me at the moment, No thanks, Don't think I will even try. πŸŽ‰

  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    Thanks @Dragonslayer
    I do think if we really try we can find positives it's harder some days than others but you are right some things others take for granted like getting out of bed are an achievement and eating a meal before 11pm lol! It's easy to go through days without even thinking about what we have done rather than what we haven't or haven't yet?
    And no matter what is going on for us someone else is going through worse and harder times unfortunately πŸ˜” I know people say that but it's true! I was thinking the other day as depressing as it may sound someone somewhere is right this minute dealing with some massive life changing event and comparatively my problems are minor? I know we shouldn't compare ourselves to others etc but all I mean is we are much more capable than we think or believe we are? And the fact we are here able to reach out for support or offer it to others or even share what's going on for us is a big deal too! And I have bad days where I am not able to do these things so when I can I need to spend more time focusing on that! Because its certainly very easy to get sucked into the negative way of seeing things so we need to make it just as easy or easier to focus on the more positive stuff we do somehow :lol:
    Enjoy your holiday β˜€οΈπŸ–οΈπŸ•οΈπŸ˜Ž
    Thanks hun πŸŒžπŸ‘πŸŒΊ have a great day peeps and a fantabulous week πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ˜‚Β 
  • vikingqueen
    vikingqueen Member Posts: 548 Pioneering
    Β  Β My philosophy is there is always someone worse off than me, I have a debilitating disease that sometimes renders me unable to even lift my head off my pillow but I never wallow in the fact my life will never be the same again. I will not feel sorry for myself, no matter how bad my day is there is always the thought I have a warm comfy home, a beautiful family and I have everything I need.Β 
    Β  Β  I am very lucky and I always try to focus on that. To me my state of mind helps me get through the bad days knowing that my worse hour is only 60 minutes and things will get better.Β 
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    edited June 19
    See now at times I see myself as weak because of having disabilities? Think having depression sort of adds to that whole mindset of not being good enough?
    But actually when you think about it the (Removed, profanity) we have to go through actually makes us stronger?Β  And when we get past the difficult situation however that's done we are then able to maybe tell someone else who is going through similar things what we did and maybe help them just by letting them know they aren't alone and they don't have to stay stuck in it?
    Thankyou @vikingqueen and thankyou everyone else on this thread!
    Definitely got me thinking about things in a different way and stopped me wallowing in self pity etc πŸ‘πŸ˜Žβ˜€οΈπŸŒΈ have a great week peeps xxx
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    Morning lovely people πŸŒžπŸŒΈπŸ€—
    Have been absent for a few days and beating myself up for being in a bad place which puts me in a worse place and basically isn't helpful as usual I am my own worst enemy! So I'm here to try and drag my a** out of this pit I end up in! πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ πŸ€žπŸ™
    Just want to say this morning I am grateful for strong coffee and biscuits, medicine and for birds as have just spent nearly an hour memorised by them feeding their little ones in the garden/woods outside!
    I can't believe I am 40 years old and until the last few weeks I have never seen fledgling birds!! Never paid attention before maybe? Or was living in town centres before so they weren't as apparent?....Β 
    But in the last few weeks I have definitely noticed nature is sooooo helpful for my mental health? It's like meditation watching them all doing their thang!! I've seen baby Robins, starlings (madness lol) great tits, tree sparrows, woodpeckers and even magpies all little version's of their parents although many appear bigger?! It's rather chaotic outside my caravan window at times but still it's flipping awesome to watch them all πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚πŸ‘ So I am most grateful for nature today! Have a great weekend peeps ❀️

  • kelics
    kelics Member Posts: 84 Courageous
    @Emily youΒ  shouldn't be embarrassed of yourself for who you are. If someone is judging you for who you are its their problem not yours.

    I get what you mean, some complain about getting up for work in the morning, others struggling just to leave their bed. I had a really tough morning yesterday and was just thinking of that
  • Emilyb81
    Emilyb81 Member Posts: 527 Pioneering
    Thankyou @kelics you are right I am so good at taking on other people's stuff as well as being extremely judgemental of myself! It's too much at times but I have zero clue how to stop my mind going instantly to those thoughts? It's a flipping headache! I mean I have enough negativity in my head but I tend to make it worse πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ it's such a learning journey is life!
    And I have decided to stop even judging myself for not being a to get up certain days? I mean it's the same as if I am exhausted I put myself down for sleeping too much?? If my body is tired I need sleep end of? But I worry what people will think or say if they know I've gone back to sleep in middle of the day! It's none of their business really and I doubt anyone is that bored to be worrying about my sleep pattern haha but you know what I'm saying? It's ridiculous! I need to just do what I can and what I need to and stop putting so much judgement on everything including meditation etc I'm only making problems worse or creating them to begin with! Take care and have a fab week! πŸ€—πŸŒžπŸ‘πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜Ž
  • kelics
    kelics Member Posts: 84 Courageous
    @Emilyb81 absolutely agree with you. You need to stop judging yourself, whatever you are going through health wise isn't your or anyones fault.

    There are lots of methods to strengthen your mind and like you said life is a learning journey, you will learn this eventually.

    You have a great day,

    peace \/

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