Friends & Family not understanding how my fatigued and chronic pain affect me socialising

weeyin

I was born with my health condition.  It really became noticeable from the age of 12 onwards.

I have 2 friends now that I have had since the age of 12.  It took along time for them to understand the pain and impact of my condition on my ability to do things!  I thought over the past 4 years they finally got it!

I had a phone conversation with my friend earlier.  She asked if I would be up for doing something this weekend.  I said yes what about lunch on Saturday or Sunday?  She said I was thinking more us going out for dinner on Sunday about 6pm?

I explained that I take my painkillers between 2-3 and that I would be fatigued and not up for going out then

I said she would be welcome round to mine on Sunday if she wanted takeaway about 6 and that I would probably feel more comfortable just in my pjs.

She said she would let me know nearer the time as maybe lunch would be better ?

I also mentioned I had ordered a wheelchair.  She said what’s wrong with your scooter!  Is that not enough!

I don’t know if I am being over sensitive but I think I would be better of without this friendship.

Any advice??

cupcake88

Hi there I’m sorry to hear bout your pain it can’t be nice to be in constant pain . Some times unless people have experienced it for them selves they don’t understand . 

I have mental illnesses and my family don’t understand they choose to leave me out of occasions like weddings and birthdays ect because there embarrassed by my mental illness so I know how it feels when people don’t understand.

Im really thankful for my amazing partner who understands my illness . 

And every one on this forum has got me threw some tough times as well . 

I would try explaining again to your friend how your life is affected by your illness 

weeyin

Thanks for taking the time to reply cupcake88.  I will try.  I hoped after all these years of friendship I wouldn’t have to.  Maybe when I’m thinking clearer I will see things differently.  I appreciate it must be difficult and maybe frustrating for her that I can’t just go out for dinner of an evening!

natz2009

I have been going through what u r for years i used to have 2 friends but as soon as i was dignosed they both disapeard but was always the same do this do that they never understood i am lonely sometimes i think its better this way other times i get really down im still not sure what to do ive tried reaching out to them but get ignored i hope u can keep ur friends and i hope they start to understand you cant do what u used to wish you well n keep ur head up xxx