Need some advice: I claim benefits + want to start a family. Would I be seen as an unfit mum?

Butterfliess

Hi all,

I have claimed ESA and pip for quite a period of time due to mental health, mainly anxiety which has brought on many other things over the time.
My partner and I are getting married in a weeks time and after this in the next year or so would like to plan to have a baby.
I have always wanted to be a mom and has been the driving force for me to continue my recovery to a healthier life.
my worry is , because I claim esa and pip, will this mean i will be seen as an unfit mother? Will it affect me having children claiming such benefits. Of course I am continuing to get better and the hope is one day I will be off then and into work. However, being a mum is extremely important to me, as is getting well enough to work for others. I am not getting any younger and myself and my partner want to start a family.
would being on benefits such as esa and pip bring troubles to me trying for a baby and succeeding? 

Would I have a fight because of my mental health history and still claiming benefits?
I worked so hard to get to this point in my recover, yes I’m still not able to work but that does not mean I am unable to be a mother ?
I know there are many questions there, I really appreciate anyone who can help me settle my mind for the future of my family.
many thanks ? 

janer1967

Hi and welcome to the community 

Being on benefits has no affect at all on you becoming a mum 

I am a mum on disability benefit however my son was 10 when I became disabled 

There are lot's of other members here who are new mums and claim 

You have nothing to worry about 

Good luck with the wedding 

Butterfliess

Hi,

Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply to you. Yes I agree being on benefits does not have any affect on you being a mom, as I know many amazing moms who are on disability benefits .

My concern is if we try for a baby while I am on ESA and PIP This will go against me being a mom? I have not worked for many years and worry that because I have been unable to work due to my issues this will mean I am unable to be a mother? Which has always been my dream regardless of my issues I know I will be an amazing mom. My partner is very supportive. They have told me that not working does not mean I should hold back on being a mum.
if I was to try for a baby would my esa and pip be affected?

’many thanks 

calcotti

Butterfliess said:

if I was to try for a baby would my esa and pip be affected?

Your ESA and PIP are not affected by having a baby. However if you do have a child you should get benefits advice from an advice agency to review your benefit entitlement. https://advicelocal.uk/

If you have a baby Unless you currently claim Working Tax Credits, in which case Child Tax Credits could be added, you may be better off claiming UC because this will include extra help for your child. Whether or not this is beneficial will depend on your full household circumstances (any savings, whether your partner works etc).

if you claimed UC you would be entitled to the LCWRA element (equivalent to ESA Support Group) and if you get a Daily Living PIP your partner could get the carer element. You should only apply for UC if you are certain you would be better off as a result because applying for UC will end your income based ESA entitlement and any Housing Benefit you get (even if it turns out there is no UC entitlement).

woodbine

Being on benefits will not stop you from having children and being a good parent, many many people do it.
Good luck

Butterfliess

@calcotti
thankyou for your reply, I currently already receive UC + LMCWA as I am on esa support group contribution based. I have been since 2014.
my pip is just about to be reviewed after I did a change of circumstances due to some improvements (I felt I needed to inform them even though only minor)

My partner works, and is starting a new job soon as self employed so that will change things. Our  claim is joint and we receive a working allowance. We do not have the care element as I don’t feel we deserve that, I can care for myself and don’t want to take something we do not deserve. 

I hear that if you do have a baby when on esa and pip that it will result in a reassessment due to the fact of your able to be a mom your able to work. Is this correct?

I really appreciate all your advice and support, it’s helped calm a very busy mind.

Butterfliess

@woodbine
i agree and I see many people be incredible parents too, I guess my fear is that if I am classed as unable to work, would this class me as unable to be a good mom.
also the fact it’s for mental health (anxiety) will this put me in the spot light for judgement from services and of course benefits?

janer1967

As before 

You have nothing to worry about jyst because you can't work doesn't mean you can't become a 9atent and no you won't be 8n the spotlight for ant benefits or services 

You will be a new mum 

You really are worrying about something that is not an issue 

Cher_Alumni

Hello @butterflies

You might have seen I've changed your thread title to help make your question more visible to our other members (so they can offer support/experience).

To reassure you, I'm pregnant and experience anxiety too.  Services aren't there to judge people and stigmatised attitudes around mental health are not tolerated in public agencies.  Throughout all my maternity appointments, staff have never questioned my ability to be a good mum due to my anxiety, and needless to say you'd get the same level of support too   

As for not working, please don't worry.  Being a good parent hinges on so much more than your employment status - I've no doubt you will love, protect and care for your baby when the time arrives so try not to let a fear of what others think play on your mind.  Just to check - are you getting help with your anxiety from a GP or other support service?  If not, do you think it might help?

Oooh and congrats on your impending wedding - I hope you have a lovely, special day!

calcotti

Butterfliess said:

I hear that if you do have a baby when on esa and pip that it will result in a reassessment due to the fact of your able to be a mom your able to work. 

I have never heard that.

woodbine

Just to say again being on ESA and PIP has no bearing on being or becoming a parent and will not trigger and re-assessments.
Good luck for your wedding day

Butterfliess

@Cher_Scope

Thankyou so much for your reply, it helps to know that judgement around mental health is not tolerated within the services. I guess I worry because of my mental health history and if this will mean I am going to be judge because of this. 

I am under the care of my GP after previously being discharged from outpatient care with cmht. 

Anxiety is a cruel and with it brings a lot of worry, it’s helped to  read your replies and I really appreciate them.
good luck with your pregnancy, i wish you the very best ☺️

Butterfliess

@woodbine

i have read this, sometimes google is not the most helpful.
can I ask, do you know how I would be able to find out when I am due a reassessment for ESA? I have already sent my pip review form off but have not had a reassessment for ESA for many years.

janer1967

@Butterfliess

There is no end date for esa the claim continues until a new assessment has been done 

So impossible to know when it will be reassessed and with current backlogs they are focusing on new claims 

Butterfliess

@janer1967

Ahh I see, so I guess it’s a bit of a waiting game then. It’s been a long time since I I was last assessed so I thought I may be due one.