Gave myself a good talking to last night.

Dragonslayer
Dragonslayer Online Community Member Posts: 2,164 Pioneering
Just lately, I have been down and feeling very sorry for myself. On top of the Kemo for a kidney disease and pain from all the other things I have wrong with me, I now seem to have gone deaf in one ear and have a loud buzzing in my head. The buzzing lasts 24/7 and it's hard to sleep. It also makes the pain feel worse. I'm finding it hard to get to see a doctor about this, even by telephone. 
So last night I sat for a time and gave myself a good talking to. ("I won't get any better, not yet anyway. Tomorrow is another day, sitting and constantly thinking about it, gets me nowhere. Deal with the pain, don't let it stop you, but know your limitations. Get back to what you were, not what you are. Just get on with it.") Among other things.
Today I do feel better about things. I do have to say coming on here makes me feel better also.
I just wanted to say. Thanks to Scope and the people on here for being who and what they are.    

Comments

  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Online Community Member Posts: 16,688 Championing
    Sorry for what you're going through @Dragonslayer - it's understandable it gets you down, but you have the strength to see that it's no use dwelling on things; not easy even with 'just' pain, as I know. So tell yourself just how well you are in fact doing. Find one thing each day that you enjoy doing, even if it's small it's something to be thankful for. At least that's what helps me.... My very best wishes.
  • leeCal
    leeCal Online Community Member Posts: 7,537 Championing
    Maybe ear wax in you ear rather than permanent tinnitus. 
    I have permanent tinnitus and you do get used to it and partially ignore it over time.
    best wishes ?
  • CoffeeFirst
    CoffeeFirst Scope Member Posts: 202 Empowering
    Sorry to hear this. Do keep trying to get through to the Doctors, frustrating as it is.
    There are some nice folk on here who are supportive and helpful. I hope you feel a little better real soon. Best wishes ?

  • Dragonslayer
    Dragonslayer Online Community Member Posts: 2,164 Pioneering
    @chiarieds. @leeCal. @CoffeeFirst. @woodbine

    I have to have a blood sample taken every week at my doctors. This is so the hospital can make the correct infusion for the Kemo. Then I have one ten days after to check it worked. This has been going on for five months now. Hopefully it will end at the end of September. Then more drugs instead. With all the things I have to put up with as a result of having Kemo I think you can guess what they are. I sometimes think the cure is worse than the disease. Add all the tests I have yearly for the other problems I have had over the last few years. X-rays - Ultrasound - CT - MRI scans ECT. Now add the head buzzing. I am waiting for an appointment at the Tinnitus clinic, more tests and maybe a hearing aid. Now I need a dentist. Another problem from Kemo.
    I seem to live at the doctors and know everyone at the hospital, I'm sure I own the MRI scanner, by now at least, or I should do. ? 
    Sorry I'm ranting a little. I know many on here are going through similar things.
    But Thanks to all for the support. This community is great for getting things of my chest and helping me to feel better.
    Two weeks today since coming back from Cornwall. I loved the drive, there and back, did over 1100 miles I feel good in the car, no problems, once I get in. that is LOL.
    Thanks for understanding and good luck to all. 
    At least the sun is shining here today. ?

     

  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    Good to hear that being on the community helps you feel better @Dragonslayer, and I'm glad that you appear to be approaching everything in a positive mindset :) 

    Take care
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 61,666 Championing
    Hi @Dragonslayer sorry your feeling a little down in the dumps, it does get you down when your constantly running to medical appointments, hope you feel brighter soon
  • Dragonslayer
    Dragonslayer Online Community Member Posts: 2,164 Pioneering
    Thanks for the comments. Being on here really does help, especially when I feel down in the dumps.
    Just now and then I would like to win one of the battles I seem to be constantly fighting. I think getting my head in the right gear is one I win the most. Being on here helps get me there.