Disabled and bereaved, unable to leave financially dependent relationship

paola_23

Hello everyone, 
I’m new to the forum, I’ve just joined.
I am disabled and have recently lost my father as well. I’m suffering from long Covid on top of this. My father passed away very suddenly and since then I’ve been incredibly depressed. 

 I haven’t been able to work in years now due to my chronic illness and have been completely relying on my partner financially. We live together and he pays for everything. Ever since my father passed he changed and did some hurtful things in the relationship and I no longer trust him, nor does he seem to actually care about working on his behaviour.

I’m so lonely and depressed with no one to talk to, I wish I could leave this relationship but I have no job, no money and nowhere to go. I can’t move back in with mother either, it’s in another country and she’s not a supportive parent in any way.  The few friends I had disappeared after my father died.

I don’t know what to do, I feel so trapped.
I would like some practical advice and help on how I can get financial help in this situation. 

It’s been an awful two years and I can’t take this anymore. 

I can’t even grieve in peace because of his behaviour.
Can Scope actually give advice to people like me on the phone or anyone else? I don’t know where to look I’m so lost. 

I want some independence back. I feel so low and hopeless. 

Paola 

paola_23

Hi thanks for your message. @Username_removed

I don’t have PIP, but with grief and long Covid I have absolutely no capacity to do anything without help, hence why I asked if I could call any services to help me.

My partner isn’t in receipt of benefits and the answer to the last question is complicated and would prefer to not get into  it. But we do still live together.
 

Please be mindful of how much trauma I’m going through right now. Even writing the post  on here was so hard. Thanks again for your message.

Cher_Alumni

Hi @paola_23

Thank you for joining our community and sharing details of your current situation with us.  It's not easy to open up sometimes to others so I appreciate that took some guts.  Things sound particularly tough given your recent bereavement and having long covid, and I wondered whether you had any support medically or emotionally from your GP, a care team or other service?  Have you ever considered bereavement counselling?

You mention that your partner has done 'some hurtful things in the relationship' and I just wanted to check that you feel safe living with him at the moment?  If this is something you wish to discuss further in email, I'd be happy to do that.

In terms of practical advice and support, you can call Scope's friendly helpline team free via the following contact methods:

Email: helpline@scope.org.uk. 
Phone: 0808 800 3333.
Textphone: dial 18001 then 0808 800 3333.
Calls are free from UK landlines and mobiles.
We are open Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm. Saturday and Sunday, 10am to 6pm. And most bank holidays.

Whilst, please do give the Advice Local website Mike included a look so you can speak more with those specialising in welfare and get personalised advice.

I'm going to email you now to offer a little more support (nothing to worry about) but thank you again for posting your story and allowing us to be there to help.

paola_23

Hello @Cher_Scope thank you so much for your kind words. 

I’ve been trying to get counselling lately with not much luck. 

I’m happy to respond to emails from you with further details. Do you have my email address already? 

I just even wish I had someone to talk to really right now. I’m incredibly isolated. 

Thanks again for your support. Very appreciated. 

Paola 

Cher_Alumni

@paola_23 I do have your email address already so keep an eye on your inbox and we can talk some more privately

Cher_Alumni

Hi @paola_23

I'm just dropping you a message to check how you are doing?  Did you have time to read the email I sent you?  If not, no worries but do give me a reply if you want to talk about anything more.

I hope you're keeping well.  Take care.