Worrying health concerns

MarkM88

I’ve not posted this for the sympathy but more for the support. I’ve kept this quiet from family and friends because I don’t want to worry them. 

I haven’t been feeling very well for nearly 12 months and I have my ups and downs. 

I don’t want to list all my symptoms or go into detail it’s too personal. 

I’ve luckily had the all clear from a cancer perspective, I got refered through the cancer pathway and was seen in 7 days, the consultant haematologist give me the all clear. 

Since then I’ve baffled the GP a lot, I’ve had various blood tests, handed in urine samples and a speutum sample, 2x CT scans, a chest X-ray and a specialist blood test that took weeks to come back. 

Alongside this I’ve been tested for TB. 

A microbiologist and a urologist have now become involved. 

The microbiologist has said I need more specialist testing to rule out a few rare diseases, this has been completed and I’m awaiting results. 

The urologist has been looking into the fact I’ve had blood appear in my urine quite regularly and I’m now on the waiting list for the camera to look into my bladder. 

So here I am frightened, scared, anxious and upset. I feel I can’t tell family as I’d make them worry as much as I am and I’m ashamed to admit it but I cried myself to sleep on a few occasions because the symptoms were over bearing on those days. 

It’s a bit of a relief to get that all off my chest. 

chiarieds

I'm very sorry to read about all you have been going through for so long Mark, but thank you for sharing. What this community is very good about is supporting each other, & it's good that we have this forum where we can say things that it's difficult to do with our families due to not wanting to worry them. My very best wishes that the cause of your problems will be found soon, & be assured of my support at any time. We're all here for you. Take care.

janer1967

Hi @MarkN88 I'm sorry to hear about how you have been suffering for so long 

I hope you get some answers soon so treatment can help 

You may be under estimating your family of course they will worry but they can also support you and it may help you to get it out to them 

As you know we are all here to help you where we can 

Glad you have shared this with us so we can offer our support 

Take care 

Sandy_123

Hi @MarkN88 thankyou for telling us that you are having a difficult time lately, i can understand you not wanting to tell family, I have done that myself in the past and im sure alot of others have done that also. 
Its natural for you to get upset over your ordeal. We are here for you to lean on, to offer support and reassurance and also it means your not going through it alone.
I wish you luck in all your results and hope you get the answers soon and then can move forward.

Tori_Scope

Thanks for sharing this with us @MarkN88 I'm glad you feel as though this is a safe space to open up about what's been going on. You're more than welcome to get stuff of your chest here any time you need to.

There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed about in terms of having a cry when things get too much. We all need to let it out sometimes, and crying can be a good release.

As Janer1967 has said, your family might be more able to deal with it than you'd expect, but it's your choice whether you let them know what's going on of course. 

Although I can completely appreciate that having the tests and appointments must be worrying, it does sound as though things are moving in a positive direction in terms of identifying what's causing your symptoms. Have you spoken to any medical professionals about the anxiety this is causing you? 

woodbine

@MarkN88 really sorry to hear that, and there is no shame in becoming emotional when something is worrying you. Do you have a friend or maybe just one member of your family who you could share you worries with?
But never forget we are all here for each other when we are needed.
Take care mate.

MarkM88

Thanks for everyone’s kind words. It means a lot. 

I’m just going to struggle on for now, I don’t really want to involve the family right now. 

I haven’t spoke to my GP about the anxiety surrounding it but I will do. I think I’m trying to see how I get on with another GP because I’d been dealing with a trainee GP for the past few months but she’s left for her next rotation so I’ve been handed to another GP. 

Duninn

@MarkN88 - I’m glad you’ve felt you could share. It sounds a terrible place to be.  Let me reassure you the Dr you’ve been passed to, even if they are a Trainee, have had access to the most thorough up to date notes kept because a Trainee is supervised and assessed weekly and there supervisor is then themselves supervised - your records are too. Anxiety can be managed, although difficult at present.  Look at Mindfulness meditation on utube - there are a few good techniques on there.  I would ask people to keep a diary each day by the hour and to begin with set one hour aside in the day, perhaps two one hour periods in the day and book them as ‘worry hour’.  Plan your day around them, if you find thoughts of worry coming into your day right them down in that ‘worry hour’ that you’ve allocated and leave it there - you’ll go back to it in the diary time.  By doing things this way you are taking control, you can prioritise and plan how you are going to deal with it during that hour - there are only three types of problems, things you can do something about now, things we can do something about but not right away and then there are things we can do something about but it will take a longer time.  Remember you can ask your GP for a referral to a talk therapy and MIND is a good charity organisation who provides that kind of support.  Whatever you decide to do good luck with it.

woodbine

@Duninn reminds me of when SM had CBT they told her to set aside 15 minutes each day and to think about all her problems and worries in those 15 minutes and forget them for the other 23 hours and 45 minutes... if only life were so simple.
Had a friend who also had CBT they told her to wear an elastic band on her wrist and to ping it every few minutes to take away her worries, she did so then the elastic band snapped and she worried about that !
You can probably tell I'm not a great fan of such utter rubbish.

@MarkN88  the best medical advice will always come from a doctor and not from anyone on an internet forum no matter how good their intentions.

chiarieds

Can only agree with @woodbine - & hope you can get on with the GP you mention Mark; let them in as to how you're feeling, only then can they help. (I'm not a fan of CBT either, & declined an offer of it to 'manage' my pain, but that's just my personal opinion).

Ross_Alumni

You have my thoughts and best wishes @MarkN88

MarkM88

Thanks again everyone. 

The most frustrating thing happened yesterday. The administrator from the practice rang me yesterday to say there was things on some of the blood tests that had come back that the GP needs to discuss with me, but couldn’t tell me what or what test results they were referring to and also can’t get me in to see the doctor until the 17th which has me more worried! 

I know if I logically think about it, if it was serious they would want to speak to me sooner rather than later but still it stresses me out more. 

Ross_Alumni

Yes I can understand why that would cause you worry @MarkN88, in some ways not knowing is worse than knowing. As you say though, if it were something serious you'd think they'd want to see you sooner.