I'm a guide dog owner, and find that people talk to me when I'm with my dog, but not when I'm alone

MizMoz32

I’ve just found out about the Invisible Disabilities campaign and think it’s a wonderful thing to do. I’m a Guide Dog Owner currently trying to get my confidence back after 18 months of shielding. Do other GDO’s find that if they’re out with their dog people - even neighbours - don’t hesitate to come up and talk but if I’m out without my dog or even in my own garden, people won’t even approach me, not even my neighbours. They think I can’t hear them walking past me quietly hoping to be unseen as it were. It used to get me down, but now I’m thinking I simply can’t be bothered with them. But I do wonder what will happen if I don’t or can’t get another guide dog in the future. Will my world become a very quiet one? 

janer1967

Hi and welcome to the community Feel free to join in or ask any questions 

Glad you have shared your thoughts with us which lots of us can empathise with 

Tori_Scope

Welcome to the community @MizMoz32 I'm glad you've found us. Was this through the advert we did with ITV?

Thank you for sharing such an interesting perspective. I've moved your post into our category for discussions relating to invisible impairments and renamed it so that other members with similar experiences should be able to find it more easily.

Obviously it's not your fault that other people act this way, but do you have any thoughts on why this might be? Do you think anything could be done to break down those barriers and challenge negative public perceptions? 

MizMoz32

Yes, it was via a notification on the ITV app. I’ve listened to the ad & thought it very very good. It certainly resonated with me! I lost my sight 26 years ago going from partially sighted to totally blind. 2 years previous to this I had cancer and people used to cross the street to avoid talking to me. I asked one of my friends who had been avoiding me why she was acting this way & she explained “I am scared you’re going to die”. Once we’d had a chat about what exactly was going on with me, things went back to how our friendship used to be. Over the years I’ve found that people often have a preconceived thought of how life must be with no sight and simply can’t understand how I can live a normal day to day life. Through no fault of their own, they don’t know about the adaptive aids like liquid levels, talking gadgets, audio description and the incredible advances in smart phone technology which aids me so much. Knowing how to begin a conversation with me is often their issue but if we can get chatting, most are very inquisitive and I’m happy to talk! Only yesterday I was telling the gas man about the AR capabilities and voice-over on my phone and then caught him looking through the settings on his own phone checking it out. I always say to people to speak to me first so then at least I know their focus is on me & I know they are there. Otherwise I keep quiet as I’m never sure if they’re on their phone or with somebody else. Shyness both on their part & mine also plays a part but communication is the key. Get talking and barriers fall down quickly. I think your campaign with allies and regarding awkwardness are very important topics and hopefully a step forward. If I can do anything to help this awkward barrier I’d be interested to help

MizMoz32

I’ve noticed over the years that it’s the young children who have picked up on the “Don’t distract a working Guide Dog” message and it’s those little voices I hear reminding their parents. Maybe the way to overcome this initial awkward stalemate is to start with the youngsters - in my experience they tend to have fewer hang ups about asking questions. I don’t think “spend a day in my shoes” tactics work unless you’re after a shock result such as highlighting the inaccessible buildings/roads/procedures etc. Could a mediated online Q&A platform work? Not sure, there’s probably privacy laws etc. To watch out for and scammers to be mindful of. Of course there are also people who don’t want to interact and likewise those that don’t want to explain how they live.  It’s certainly a narrow path to tread to get the right balance and the more I think about it the more ideas I come up with & then think of the downsides and come back to the beginning ?

calcotti

I think what you describe is not unique to people with guide dogs. Seems to me there are lots of people who don’t normally talk to ‘strangers’ who will nonetheless stop and talk to somebody about their dog (which baffles me as someone who doesn’t much like dogs!).