My brother is constantly ripping stuff up, and it's impacting all of us. I really need support

kayleigh123

Hi guys.My brother is constantly ripping . He keeps destroying all of his clothes, all of the curtains  in the house. He still flushing stuff down the toilet to the point where it got blocked outside and I had to get national grid to unblock , my brother is putting stuff in bin bags secretly. We have destroyed mattress, bedding towels basically anything with strings. 

I don’t understand this behaviour, I have contacted the social worker who have not been supportive, I’ve contacted the doctors for help as this is having a massive financial impact on our household.All this is starting to emotionally affect myself, By no means am I being selfish I’m just very upset about everything as I cannot have anything as it gets destroyed. If anybody could please help me I would much appreciate it my brother lives with me full-time and I really need support,

I understand that this is must be a sensory thing. Is there any way to stop this? as every single day something else is ripped. If anybody could please give me some advice it would be much appreciated, As you can see I’m starting to get extremely upset about everything and I would never want to reduce my brother to the care system because of picking or Financial aspects, As it’s totally unfair I just need support and a better understanding.

chiarieds

Hi @kayleigh123 - & welcome to the community. Thank you for joining & sharing the difficulties you have with your brother, & how it's understandably affecting you.

Is there another GP in your practice to try to see if they would be both more understanding, & helpful? You are certainly not in the least selfish, rather needing support with your brother's behaviour, as you say.

Have you specifically asked for a needs assessment on your brother's behalf? Please see: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/help-from-social-services-and-charities/getting-a-needs-assessment/     You can then complain that you're not getting the support your brother needs if you feel it isn't properly looked into, but, if they're unable to help, they should point you in the right direction initially.

You mention the financial aspect almost in passing, but perhaps there is help with benefits for your brother, & yourself too. Your brother may qualify for the Personal Independence Payment (PIP) depending on how his disability affects him. Please see: https://www.mentalhealthandmoneyadvice.org/en/welfare-benefits/pip-mental-health-guide/introduction-to-pip/can-i-claim-pip-for-mental-health/

Also you may qualify for the Carer's Allowance. More info here: https://www.carersuk.org/images/Factsheets/2021-22_factsheets/Carers_Allowance_2021-22_April.pdf      Perhaps these may help.

Tori_Scope

Welcome to the community @kayleigh123  

I agree that this sounds like a very difficult situation to have to cope with, so it's understandable that you'd be upset and after some additional support. 

Do you mind me asking whether your brother has a diagnosis? 

I'm sorry that the support worker hasn't been supportive. What exactly did they say? Did they mention any other avenues of support you could try and access if it's not something they're able to help with? I agree with chiarieds that asking for a needs assessment might help.