nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

We want to hear from you: please tell us about your experience of the online community.

Understanding the possibility of caring for ex "live in"

Wicket76

Hi, I will try and start by giving a picture of my ex partner and her situation before adding mine.
My ex has a disability that entitles her to higher rate care, and lower rate mobility (pip)
She is a carer for her 2 autistic children, one child is higher rate on both care and mobility, the other child (this one is my child with her) is middle rate care and lower mobility.
She lives in her 3 bedroom house with these children and claims all the typical benefits for that situation.
Their has become a need with he state getting worse that she requires more care than she can do for herself, she has no social workers or outside help.
We have had the discussion that maybe I could move in and do it? I currently have just a part time job local, I would likely give this up to do the caring.
What would be the difficulty in moving in and making this happen? what would be the order of the best steps. She has GREAT anxiety of losing her benefits with me being a additional change, she is also NOT currently on universal credit as its not required for her to be on it at the time of writing this.
How would I best go about this, also we would not be "together as in relationship" I will literally have to make home in the living room.
Any and all advise on this I'd be extremely grateful for. But the main goal is little to no disruption in her claims.
Thanks
Paul

Find more posts tagged with

Comments

Adrian_Scope

Hello @Wicket76 and a warm welcome to the community.

Could I ask a couple more questions?
Is your ex partner currently receiving Carer’s Allowance and income support or ESA? And is anyone currently claiming Carer’s Allowance or the carer element of UC for caring for her? Finally, do you know if your ex is currently receive severe disability premium (SDP) in with any of her benefits?

calcotti

To offer advice on how her benefits might be affected we would need to know exactly what she is getting and what benefits, if any, you will be claiming to support yourself, if any, if you give up work.

Wicket76

I thought for myself it would only be carers, but i don't know what else i'd claim anyway.
I don't believe she has SDP on anything, she has income support and she has carers allowance for caring for her 2 sons.
Nobody is claiming to care for her etc.
And she gets the regular housing benefit council tax, along with child tax credit, which has a disability premium for the eldest child

calcotti

Wicket76 said:
I don't believe she has SDP on anything, she has income support and she has carers allowance for caring for her 2 sons.

You need to check about the SDP. If she has the SDP in her Income Support she will lose this if you claim a benefit for looking after her.

There may however ever be no choice if you will be looking after her and need benefit income to support yourself. If you are caring for her you could claim Carer’s Allowance. Unless you have capital over £16,000 you could claim Universal Credit which can include extra money if you are a carer. You can get this without claiming Carer’s Allowance.

You will both need to be prepared for DWP and HMRC to question the nature of your relationship. (If you were living as a couple it would completely change the benefit situation.)

poppy123456

calcotti said:

Wicket76 said:
I don't believe she has SDP on anything, she has income support and she has carers allowance for caring for her 2 sons.

You need to check about the SDP. If she has the SDP in her Income Support she will lose this if you claim a benefit for looking after her.

The SDP would be lost anyway if the OP moved in unless they also claim a qualifying disability benefit.

calcotti

poppy123456 said: The SDP would be lost anyway if the OP moved in unless they also claim a qualifying disability benefit.

Unfortunately I think you’re right - I was thinking she could keep SDP if they were treated as separate benefit unit but upon reflection I think that’s wrong if OP’s place of normal residence will now be with ex.

OP, based on your description of ex’s circumstances I would expect her IS to include the SDP worth £67.30/week. This will be lost if you move in (unless it is a temporary arrangement and you still normally reside elsewhere). That will happen if anybody moves in to care for her (other than a carer she or a charitable body pays to do so).

You can use a benefit calculator to check your own benefit entitlement.

Unless this is a temporary arrangement while you maintain a home elsewhere:

She would need to tell Council Tax that you are living there but could ask for you to be disregarded as a carer which means that she will still be regarded as a single adult.

She will need to tell the local authority benefits team that you are living there. For HB this will make no difference because she gets PIP, for CTR it will depend on the rules for her particular local authority.

Wicket76

Well I can say her income support is £82.20 a week if this helps with it all

poppy123456

That tells me she's not claiming the SDP. If she's the only adult in the house (unless all adults claim either DLA mid/high rate care, PIP daily living or Attendance allowance) then she should be claiming the SDP and will be entitled to it up until the day before you move in. I'd advise her to ring Income Support (DWP) to ask to claim the SDP. It can be backdated as far back as she became entitled to it. It's £67.30 per week from April 2021 but slightly less in previous years.

Wicket76

Ok, lets say she hasn't got SDP currently like you suggest, what would be the order of actions to take. And what is this about "be prepared for DWP and HMRC to question the nature of your relationship. " that sounds like something alone that will scare her off. What can we say other than we are not a couple, seems like something that can cause un-needed grief maybe and far from "just fill in a couple of forms"
Thanks everyone btw very grateful

poppy123456

The reason they may ask questions is because she's your Ex partner and you have a child together. They could potentially ask for proof that you're not in a relationship.

For the SDP claim then as advised she needs to ring DWP/Income Support to apply and she'll be entitled to it until the day before you move in.

When you move in you can claim Universal Credit for yourself, report being a carer for her and your UC will include the carers element as well as the standard element.

Wicket76

Ok, thanks kindly for the feedback.
How does one "prove" we are not in a relationship? I will be sleeping in the living room, I don't know what else I would say, we are amicable so I won't speak ill of her. Seems a strange thing to try and prove.
What will change on her side if I was to move in and claim UC for myself as at the moment she is on legacy payments and would obviously prefer minimal disruption, I'm not so up on the benefits, do i need to claim UC, cant it just solely be the carers?

calcotti

Wicket76 said:..do i need to claim UC, cant it just solely be the carers?

No one is obliged to claim benefits. You do not have to claim UC and can choose to claim Carer's Allowance only if you wish. As previously explained she will lose entitlement to SDP in her IS if you move in (although it appears she isn't currently getting it).

The question of whether or not you are a couple may arise anyway if DWP discover that you are living there.