Hello. I have ME and lost my job in 2019 due to my health deteriorating. In a nutshell, after several weeks off sick, the company (it is a small family run business) maintained that they couldn't make reasonable adjustments for me, so I felt I had no other option but to leave as I was getting more and more unwell. The legal process of leaving was very traumatic for me, my employer turned nasty and then withdrew contact. It got so bad that I developed - and still have classic symptoms of PTSD -(flashbacks, hyper vigilance, avoidance, paranoia etc). I live fairly close to where I worked and border on panic attacks and try to avoid seeing people associated with the company.
I am in the support group for ESA and I use part of this income fund private therapy, as well as general outgoings, bills, etc. My husband's wage alone doesn't cover all of our outgoings, but with my ESA, we just about manage. I am low and lonely without having work and a sense of purpose in life, and I feel trapped. I want to move forward and perhaps try some voluntary work online (I can't do a lot physically due to health).
My big concern is that if I start to do a few hours of voluntary work and/or consider paid work, my ESA will be taken away (just like my job was) and I very genuinely fear for my mental health (and also how my husband and I would cope financially) if that were to happen. My doctor has not been particularly helpful as I don't fit the 'classic' PTSD criteria, so I feel quite stuck and disbelieved. Perhaps I should raise this again, as even just talking with friends about their jobs can sometimes trigger flashbacks.
I would appreciate any advice about my situation, which I appreciate is quite complex. Thank you for reading if you got this far!
