finally making progress towards going self-employed, but still struggling with the anxiety of it all

Stellar

I'm posting to ramble a bit and also if anyone got any advice.

Later today i've got an appointment with a careers service as i finally did a self-employment course and found an org that are willing to help me become self-employment.

i'm autistic with adhd (dxed) and have multiple undiagnosed mental illnesses (cptsd, anxiety) which were partly worsened by a very stressful, traumatic experience at my last job (around 2 years ago).

I'm glad i've managed to get this far and have some idea on a career path to start with (I'm planning on reselling games online initially, due to the fact it's so flexible and it's something i can do). Though my longer term plan is to move into something different as there's only so far reselling games can go.

I'm hoping to start building up passive income via multiple pathways so i don't have to work full time hours as well as use said income to help me leave this terrible country and qualify for residency (and later citizenship) via passive income. I feel this would be doable compared to trying to get abroad the conventional way, which i suspect would be almost impossible for me. 

thing is, I'm finding it hard to work out what to do as these other income routes due to the fact my workplace anxiety is really overwhelming. I'm struggling to work out the specific process is (I'm asking about it today) and how to juggle and adjust to everything. i'm also so scared of putting myself out there incase i make a bad PR mistake without realising and killing my business as a result.

It's so scary as there's far too many uncertainties but been dependent on benefits is even scarier as i constantly fear the DWP taking my money away (my PIP is also under review atm which doesn't help). UC already creates a huge disincentive to work (and i'm not in LCRWA because ironically i was too traumatised and sick to engage the process when i needed to but thanks to COVID they couldn't harrass me and i actually got better as a result.

Does anyone know where i can get specific support and viewpoints from disabled people who've been self-employed and managed to do what i want to do? i really need help trying to soothe my anxiety with all of this. it's so hard to find anything on it.

A lot of spaces regarding self-employment and passive income are aimed at rich abled capitalists which i can't relate to and/or are actively harmful (especially as many of them push the same narratives about work the DWP justify to kill us, likewise "financial freedom" via dodging taxes and also networking/linkedin BS).

I feel a bit better with all this knowing I'm not alone and there are other disabled people in my position exist. I started reading a 2019 government report this morning regarding disabled people and self-employment and the conclusions. some of which match my exact situation:

-  feeling self-employment is my only option
- Unpredictable mental health will affect income and ability to do things
- need specific support aimed at disabled entrepreneurs is needed

Understanding self-employment for people with disabilities and health conditions (publishing.service.gov.uk) 

thanks

Ross_Alumni

Thanks for the update @stella, good to hear that you have receive some support with this and are making progress towards achieving your goal.

I think it's important to recognise and embrace the fact that you will likely make some mistakes along the way, but that you will learn from every single one of them and become better for it. You seem to be well researched and prepared for what you want to do, which will stand you in good stead when you get going, so I'm sure you'll succeed.

Regarding peer support, I am unsure if you know of the following, but this is on a Scope help page about self-employment:

Online resources can help you prepare for becoming self-employed, such as:

• The Association of Disabled Professionals has information for disabled entrepreneurs
• Accessful Foundation supports disabled entrepreneurs
• RNIB business supports blind and partially-sighted people

Your GP surgery might have a social prescribing service. This will put you in touch with local organisations in your area, including support with employment.