Hi, my name is Ray1981! — Scope | Disability forum
Find out how to let us know if you're concerned about another member's safety.

Hi, my name is Ray1981!

Ray1981
Ray1981 Member Posts: 2 Listener
Hey guys. I'm a 40 Yr old man from Lincoln with a 12 year old lad that I think the world of. Now single again as girlfriend of 7 yrs left recently. Trying to make it in this rat race and struggling but persevering and never stopping trying. But I can't help feeling such a failure. And this feeling is eating into my very soul. So dependant on money and so lacking. Really feeling it's stopping me living. I just want to be happy again, you know. Debt is a killer. It saps the soul. Five thousand would sort all my debt and it's on my mind ALL OF THE TIME. To those who have debt of twenty, thirty, fifty more thousand I just cannot imagine!! Really I can't. I feel like ending it all now so how I would feel if that was the case I cannot even imagine.. 

Comments

  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 11,079 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Ray1981 - & welcome to the community. Thank you for saying a little about yourself. I'm sure you're not a failure in any way; you sound like you always try, which is great.
    There's some links from Citizens Advice that I hope you may find helpful. Please see: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Member Posts: 1,474 Pioneering
    Hi @Ray1981 You do not sound like a failure to me. You are obviously doing your best for your son. Lack of money and debt can really affect your well being and when you do not have enough money it is very difficult to move forward. Have you spoken to anyone about your money problems? Take care. If you have any questions please ask.
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 6,686

    Scope community team

    Welcome to the community @Ray1981 :) 

    I'm sorry to hear about the situation you're in, as it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment. 

    I've sent you an email from [email protected], so please do keep an eye out for that. 
    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.

    Want to tell us how we're doing? Complete our feedback form now.
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 12,914 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi and welcome to the community 

    Try not to worry about debt easier said than done but there is always a solution and it shouldn't rule your life 

    Contact your debtors explain the situation and they will help come up to an affordable plan for yoy 

    Also lots of debt advice services out there like step change 

    I've been there so totally 7nderstand how it can consume you 
    I have professional experience in HR within public,  private, and charity sectors.  If I can help I will 
  • Ray1981
    Ray1981 Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Debt isn't my only problem though. I wish it was. I've suffered from depression since my 20's, tried numerous medications and have stuck to the one I'm on now 5/6 yrs. I'm just coming out of years of drug addiction, fighting it and winning but it's left me drained and a shell of the person I was. My lack of appetite and varying sleep patterns are a result of all this. I've distanced myself from friends, family and the world as a whole for years now so on top of all this I'm lonely to boot!!! Damn, I've so much I want and need to change I just do NOT know where to start. And get this.. My landlady tells me she's selling up next year, we all need to be out end of Feb! What with Xmas weeks away, and moving to think about, what with everything I just don't know how I'm going to cope and Im getting that feeling of things piling up in my mind again and becoming impossible. I'm gonna hit a real, real bad low soon I just know it. I know what I'm like. 
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Member Posts: 1,474 Pioneering
    edited November 9
    Hi @Ray1981 If you need someone to talk to who will not judge or tell you what to do try the Samaritans 116 123. You can call anytime day or night free from any phone. They will listen. Or you can email [email protected]  response time 24 hours.  You do not need to be  suicidal to get in touch with them. Could you perhaps try contacting your family again ?
    Take care. Good luck.
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 6,686

    Scope community team

    I can imagine that recovering from a drug addiction is hard work @ray1981. Are you receiving support from that, either from medical professionals, or an addiction charity? 

    I hope that being on the community can ease some of those feelings of loneliness, but it's important to try and maintain in-person connections if you can, too. Have you considered joining any social groups or clubs to help get yourself back into the swing of things? Or, as teddybear12 has suggested, could you try reaching back out to those you've drifted away from? 

    I can imagine the housing situation could feel overwhelming. Do you rent privately? Have you started looking around for other properties? 

    I can appreciate that you're worried that another low is coming due the the stress you're facing, but you can try and manage this the best you can by accessing the help available to you, and leaning on others where needed. 
    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.

    Want to tell us how we're doing? Complete our feedback form now.
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 11,079 Disability Gamechanger
    You should be proud of yourself in what you've achieved so far combating drug addiction @Ray1981 -  A very good friend of mine suffered with addiction for years, & made a full recovery. He always used to recommend the Richmond Fellowship, which can carry on supporting you. Please see: https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk/    unfortunately it's not available in all areas, but you will see a postcode checker on the main page to find out. They may also be able to help you with your housing problem, so I hope you think they're worth a try.
    So, know there are charities that are willing to support you, as well as all of us here. There is a place to start.....
    Another thing my friend used to always advocate (which we should all be doing) is to have a healthy diet; avoid all processed foods, etc., something I totally agree with. Please see a couple of posts I made last year, & watch the youtube medical videos:

Brightness

Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community better.