Hi, my name is helpless! — Scope | Disability forum
Find out how to let us know if you're concerned about another member's safety.

Hi, my name is helpless!

helpless Member Posts: 1 Listener
I lived on a 3rd floor flat for about 12years. Big flat, I got on with all my neighbours. But I became disabled there was no lift & I couldn't handle the stairs. In 2016 I applied to go on locator, imagine the local authority lost all my paperwork I had to appeal & by 2018 I was put on locator where I could bid for properties. All the properties that came up only had walk in showers which wasn't suitable as I use a bathlift & have to bathe due to skin conditions I have. Between 2018 & 2021 I viewed 1 properties with a bath due to a step hill & steps in the garden I couldn't except it. The property im now in I thought was perfect ground floor, own garden & bath. The day off viewing I had to go alone due to covid restrictions. The day I signed the tenancy I came into the property with my career as soon as we went into the bathroom we measured the bath just under 4ft long nit a standard size & noway would my bathlift or toilet seat fit over the toilet. It had been 2hrs since I signed the tenancy I called the lady up that I signed the tenancy with & explained I couldn't take the property as it was unsuitable. She basically told me it was tough as I'd now signed the tenancy she told me to get another OT report done. She then called me a week later to say a bigger bath could not be fitted due to the size off the bathroom & the toilet could not be moved. I stayed an extra month in my old property dreading the thought off moving somewhere I couldn't bathe or use the toilet. I would rather be stuck upstairs & able to wash etc. 
Since moving in my skin conditions have become worse, I've had shingles 3x in the last 7months. A lady next door to me has three dogs which bark morning till night. ASBO team have been involved but they have closed the case as the housing officer should have got her to rehome the dogs as she's breaking her tenancy. But still the dogs remain ive not had one night's peaceful sleep, I scream into my pillow at night their right next door to my bedroom but can be heard through out the flat. 1 big bark the rest yapping away I didn't realise how much the barking could drive a person crazy. 
I have a family off 5 above me in a 1 bedroom flat, the kids jump,scream,run up & down. But my problem is with the male who lives above me. His wife went into early labour & stayed in hospital 5weeks. During the 5weeks he became over friendly everytime I would go out in my garden he'd call down to me making conversation nothing wrong with saying hi but this man just wouldn't let me relax in my garden. His brother in law walked into my home uninvited I was in shock to see him stood in my hallway at 11pm. I had to ask him numerous times to leave. Later at 1am my phone rang it was the man upstairs asking me to go up & drink with them. I said no im asleep & why would a single female go upstairs & sit & drink with 2 married men while there children where fast asleep. The only reason they had my number was due to a leak from there washing machine causing me hundreds in damages. 5 weeks later the wife returned. The two men placed a sofa in my garden they knocked to say it would be collected in 3 days time. Instead it was outside my bathroom window for over a month these men would sit there, drinking playing music, kids knocking my plant pots over, knocking on my door every few minutes. Everytime I went into my kitchen the man would come up to my window talking to me, if I went into my bathroom they would whistle etc.  It got to the point where I wouldn't open my windows, I'd lay in bed till it got dark & they where gone, not using my kitchen or bathroom or any off my gardens. This man has said some disgusting things to me. I caught him outside my bathroom window doing a disgusting act with a towel near his groin & his 3yr old son stood behind him. I reported it to the council & two community officers from the police had a word with him & pretty much laughed it off saying I was a pretty young lady that's why. I had the sofa removed by the council. But now this man has me living in fear. He's always watching me, standing in my front garden, I no longer use my front door if I go out I use my back door. He's followed me. Smashed up my front garden, dog muck on the door step, black bag rubbish everywhere. I start cancer treatment next week I really can't live this way. I've had another OT report & a surveyor came out it was 2 women they witnessed this man come straight out his door and just stand there. They have told the council to move me based on the harrasment plus the bathroom not being suitable. But how long do I live in fear for? I moved here to become more independent im far from family & friends I really can't cope.


  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 6,619

    Scope community team

    Hi @helpless. Welcome to the community :) 

    This sounds like a really stressful situation, so I'm sorry to hear about what's been going on. 

    I'm aware that you've spoken with our helpline service, so I just wanted to reiterate some of their advice. 

    Please do continue to report these incidences of harassment to the police. It's frustrating to say the least that they haven't taken everything you've reported seriously, but it's important that you make them aware of any further crimes. You should always call 999 right away if you ever feel unsafe. If you're not satisfied with actions taken by the police, you can make a complaint (IOPC).  

    You might also find it helpful to engage with an organisation supporting those who've been impacted by crimes committed against them, such as Victim Support.

    In regards to your physical and mental health, it could be worth contacting your GP to see whether there's any additional support they could provide you with or direct you to. Do you have a good relationship with your GP? 

    Best of luck with your upcoming cancer treatment, too. Are you planning on seeking any support from a cancer charity, such as Macmillan, to help you through this? 

    Although you're now far away from your family and friends, are you still able to keep in touch with them? For example, through phone calls or text messages? Are they aware of what's been going on? 

    Please do continue engaging with our friendly helpline team, as I know they're giving you some additional advice and support :) 
    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.

    Want to tell us how we're doing? Complete our feedback form now.


Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community better.