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problems ?

redOwl Member Posts: 24 Listener
Posted a lot about this so hard to understand and with no one talk to in family from start gf talked about wanted baby and that be prefect family even when told her that  I dont think could have understanding look after baby cant even look after myself .

She said wanted baby then she didnt that she just have get over it and she keep talking about getting healthy  when I had problems with intimacy  that im not sure if about having baby are intimacy together that a lot pregnancy test kits in bathboom cabinet .

Recently she talked about wanting baby again when social worker asked us about children she said  to old for children at moment trying see her daughter in care dont know how to talk about this with her.With gf having fibromyalgia she cant cope looking after herself ive tried help her even with just cooking or going upstairs cold effects her .

And how behavior changed a lot recently explained to gf that lot time dont understand things how few weeks i was in pain telling her needed support from her had lot pain in chest and back she telling me just cold go to bed that waste time going hospital they only give me painkillers .

Got point where felt like going be argument trying tell her needed go hospital wasnt just a cold that needed her support didnt know what to do.

Time this going on  because she in dept something do with her and her ex they had shared account he was controlling money and she got in dept with taxes saying she doesnt have pay them because her ex controlling money he should paid them .

She living on over daft told her dont understanding that means she said degrading asking me for money her universal credit goes on overdaft that only staying with her moment not moved in .She said her friend knows she struggling with money he send her money that i should just paided off her overdaft sharing money from my account not moved in with her.

Not sure how to feel about this like being with her talking about getting place together just wondering if anywhere I could get support .


  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Community Co-Production Group Posts: 2,204 Pioneering
    Hi @redOwl I am sorry you are still having problems with your relationship. You can contact Relate who give relationship  advice at  Good luck.
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 13,418 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm sorry to be harsh but un my opinion from reading all your posts this so called relationship doesn't seem to be meeting any of your physical or emotional needs and you should maybe consider there is no future as a couple 

    Thinking of having a baby would be the worst thing possible . You have to consider if you could meet the needs of a child and the impact this would have on your life and the child . It's not just something you can try out it's a lifetime commitment and would be tragic if another child was taken into care 

    It child also be likely that if previous children of your partner have been taken into care then social services would be involved in any new children and be assessed on ability to care for a new baby 

    I think you need some advice as suggested or talk to your family or gp 
  • redOwl
    redOwl Member Posts: 24 Listener
    Do worry  if we did have child i can't even look after myself that I think have problems just understanding with out daily things and with gf saying she cant cope things moment that just two of the us .

    Did talk about just having cat or dog instead dont know if that would be option have in past before met gf tried explain that dont think could understand how look after child .

    Thank for the link i have look .
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 7,086

    Scope community team

    I hope that we can offer some additional support about this via email @redOwl :)

    I was just wondering whether you and your girlfriend are currently using any birth control? You're right that deciding to have a baby is a big decision, and comes with a lot of responsibility, so I can see why you'd feel a bit worried and apprehensive about it at the moment. 
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  • redOwl
    redOwl Member Posts: 24 Listener
    At moment not using any  and saying want baby again when at moment she trying visit her daughter in care hard to understand .


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