Specialist Provision. Has anyone else experienced their child hating their specialist school?

TheSallyB

Hi - I’m new here and I apologise for jumping right in but I’m at my wits end and wondered if anyone had similar experiences and could share the benefit of their wisdom?

My son with ADHD & ASD has recently transitioned to a specialist provision from mainstream - it has taken a year and tribunal to get him there!
He has done the last three weeks of last term, 3 days a week at the new school and is now starting full time this term.
Unfortunately at the end of last term he got a smack in the face by one of the other students, which has devastated him. They did mediation with the other boy and apparently the other boy is fine, sorry, moved on etc.
The trouble is my son is now terrified of the school and believes most of the other students hate him and consequently he hates going there and we have a daily battle.

I have spoken to the school and they have a good, strong support package in place for him but he does not trust it and prefers to carry on believing the other students are really rough and they are all much bigger than him.

I have said to him to give it time, take small steps, trust his pastoral support etc etc but I wondered if this is really going to help?
 Has anyone else experienced their child hating the specialist school they fought to get into, that seemed so right at the time?
What options would there be of finding an alternative if he really can’t settle?
I would be so grateful if anyone could help!!!

Alex_Alumni

Hello @TheSallyB and welcome to the community, thank you for reaching out and telling us about your son's situation. It must be difficult knowing that he's struggling to settle after his bad experience.
 
I'm not all the knowledgeable in the area of specialist schools, but it does sound positive that you've got a strong support package and the school are working with you as best they can. I wonder if speaking to your GP about everything might help? Or perhaps children and young people’s mental health services (CYPMHS) would be able to offer support.  

To help our members find this discussion more easily I've moved it into our 'Education' category and marked it as unanswered.

If you need help with anything else let us know, and hopefully someone with similar experience can share their advice

Alex

woodbine

@TheSallyB hi and a warm welcome to scope and well done you for "jumping right in". I'm afraid I have nothing to help but check back tomorrow as I'm sure someone will be able to help.

newborn

Can you or someone he trusts be somewhere at the school for a while, working as a voluntary assistant not necessarily in his group, but so he knows there's someone around?  These schools are normally more flexible than mainstream, and might 'invent a staff shortage' assisting doing some tasks.   You must be desperate, as I know getting a place is so difficult and naturally you would hope his problems were over. They probably are, but he doesn't believe it yet. All best wishes for both of you

Danielle_2022

Hiya,
I just wanted to come here and share a bit of my story, in the hopes that it might help. I have Cerebral Palsy and use a wheelchair, but my education was always mainstream, so a little different to your son. I did hate every second of it, though. My biggest issue was interacting with the other students and I was bullied a lot. It sounds like your son’s school is handling it a lot better than mine did, which I’m so happy to hear. It might take him a little while to believe that for himself, I think, as others have said above. Education can be a vulnerable place sometimes, especially when you can’t predict the behaviour of those around you. It might be worth considering a reduced timetable for a short while, just until your son feels safer and more adjusted to the environment again. Really, though, you’re already doing so much good by offering your support and hearing his concerns. I have faith that it will get better with time. Good luck! Keep us updated, if you can.