My dad isn't able to cope with work anymore - all advice appreciated

iBakeIt

Hello, I will try and keep this short and to the point as poss but sorry in advance for the long post. I'm writing this on behalf of my dad (he's 63, 64 this year) the last year has been horrendous for him both physically and mentally. He's had a crumbling spine for years, however January last year his back went and he collapsed onto my sons legs - my dad was only bending over to cover his grandsons feet as they were out of the covers and he didn't want him getting cold. From there he was bed bound for 4 days, couldn't move at all. Not even for the toilet. We had numerous paramedics and ambulances out, he had a hospital visits but just sent away with pain relief. He ended up having constipation and was put on the highest dose of sachets of movecal and nothing was happening. My dad was convinced he wasn't constipated, he wasn't eating. 2 more trips to hospital and it turned out he wasn't constipated, he had nothing in him. He'd been diagnosed and prescribed the meds without being seen. Eventually after scans he had an operation on his spine. He was told he needed physiotherapy but it hasn't happened despite numerous calls to his consultant and the doctors but still nothing. It has left him with numbness in his left leg and it often gives way. Following the op he had more issues with his left leg and more pain, his gp and oohs docs were useless and finally another trip to A&E turned out that he had a blood clot (whilst in A&E he had a call from his gp and when he said that he is in the hospital because of a blood clot, the doctor said "I thought this was sorted, we only spoke yesterday. They can deal with it now" and put the phone down on him). He ended up having to inject himself for a few weeks and then tablets. 
His mental health is shot as you can probably imagine, a year down the track and he is so depressed. He's in constant pain in both his knee and back. He can't stand or sit for long so spends his days constantly swapping between the two. His company isn't great, well namely his boss. His boss knows the situation and couldn't care less, he puts more and more on him. My dad is at the point now where he can't bare to work due to both his mental and physical state. Up until last year I had never seen my dad cry but he's either in tears or close to tears every day and constantly wanting to give up and asking when the pains going to end. My poor mum (and myself) don't know what to say to him anymore and we do struggle not to get annoyed with him sometimes. We are only human and although he says he's the one going through it, we are too. It's been very hard to see. 

If anyone's got this far, any advice on who to speak to, how to get someone medically retired etc would be soooo appreciated. My dad doesn't have any fight left to do this himself so I'm trying to help him. 

Thanks
K

woodbine

hi @iBakeIt welcome to scope, and well done you for trying to help your dad, I'm no expert in medical retirement but there are people on here who are and hopefully they will offer some help, so keep checking back. Is he getting any help from his GP with his mental health problems? Has he stopped working? 
You could do some research on SSP, ESA and even PIP on the internet, or the benefit checkers like "entitled2" or "turn2us"

iBakeIt

Thank you for replying, his gp isn't doing anything as its just with the consultant, who also isn't doing anything either tbh.
He is still working, I don't really know how though.
I will try looking up those things. Thanks

janer1967

Hi and welcome to the community 

The first step for medical retirement would be to look at his pension provider and establish what their rules are

Then get a referral to oh who will do workplace assessment and then recommend his options for future employment 

Ill health retirement can be difficult to get as hr would be classed as unfit to return to any role and this will in most cases require medical evidence and assessment 

Another option could be medical dismissal where he is dismissed on medical grounds.  Some companies offer compensation in these circumstances you would need to get the policy from his company. 

He could contact hr as well to discuss the options available if he is no longer able to work 

Taking a pension early could affect his entitlement to benefits 

Another option if his pension allows is just early retirement most offer this from 55+ 

It kay be worth getting some expert pension advice 

A lot to look into any further questions just ask