The Outsiders club

gru1248

Okay thank you for your help 

Danielle_2022

@MissMarple,
I absolutely agree with you and have recently been considering setting up something myself, since there seems to be very little available at the moment, especially that’s accessible to disabled people. I haven’t figured out all of the details yet (it’s just been playing on my mind), but I’d run it as a voluntary thing, so rest assured there would be no hidden charges! 

It just seems unfair that we’re generally a forgotten group when it comes to making romantic connections, you know? We deserve all of that, too. In the meantime, perhaps something like Eventbrite could be used if you wanted to expand your current friendship group? You can never have enough friends

gru1248

Thank you for your reply 

MissMarple

@Danielle_2022 The hidden charges are so frustrating. I understand that a dating site is a business, and it's perfectly fine to charge for membership. But when they advertise it as free, only to find out after registration that you can not exchange a single message unless you've upgraded. Or you may be able to send a message, but the other person can't reply without being a paying member themselves... It's just too complicated, and you never know if the other person has even seen your message.

I used to work in care, and the attitude you mentioned is there in lots of people, staff, relatives etc.. Looking at someone with a disability, or even just someone above a certain age, and they think 'oh, how cute that they want a romantic relationship'. As if it was unrealistic wishing for something most people take for granted in their life.

I would be interested to hear what kind of thing you've been considering? Would your idea mean a site, a regular group event, something online or in person?

gru1248

I don’t bother now 

MissMarple

@gru1248 You mean you gave up on the Outsiders club or online dating in general?

gru1248

Yes I have probably try Facebook dating when I return from my holiday in march 

MissMarple

Good luck @gru1248

gru1248

Thank you 

janer1967

I used Facebook dating for a while at least it 7s easy to use and set up and change profile 

Also no hidden charges you can message each other if you match 

But like any dating site be careful it also has its share of fake and scammers with it being free 

gru1248

Thank you for your help 

Danielle_2022

@MissMarple,
Yes, I totally agree with you. It really hurts my heart when our relationships (or efforts to find one) are infantilised so easily. Still, I am here with the reminder that you deserve to live wildly outside of everyone else’s expectations & I hope it’ll happen for you soon enough.

I guess what my idea looks like would depend on the level of interest. To start with, I was thinking of making an online group where people can discuss their interests & what they’re looking for, to see if that matches with anybody else. If that’s at all successful, I could include support sessions around building confidence etc. If it would be helpful, I’d also be happy to organise any potential dates, just to make sure that it’s easy and accessible for both parties. Outside of romance, it would be a nice way to make friends, too. At least, that’s my hope! There could also be online events (such as film nights) once a month or something, too. But I’m really happy to take suggestions at this stage!

gru1248

Thank you 

MissMarple

Your idea sounds wonderful @Danielle_2022 I would definitely be interested in an online group. Film nights also sound good. Perhaps games that encourage communication and opening up to get to know each other better?

I attended an online event once which was facilitated, it was a talk and conversation about the difficulties in finding love. At one point we were paired up with another attendee by random. It was interesting to share our thoughts with a stranger, seeing that someone of a different age and background has similar issues to us.

gru1248

Good idea like to keep posted 

Danielle_2022

That’s great to hear, @MissMarple and @gru1248. I really appreciate your enthusiasm and input! I’ll start planning a few things on my end and keep you updated.

The games idea sounds wonderful! I think it’s nice when these things are fun because it takes so much of the pressure off. I also love the idea of having such deep conversations with a stranger — it really shows that we’re not that different after all, hey? 

Well, I’ll be back in a week or two and let you know what’s happening, hopefully. If you think of anything else in the meantime, please feel free to write in this thread

gru1248

Thank you 

Wibbles

I used to be a member - 25 years ago - I met Tuppy Owens who ran the club from her front room at the time - I met one girl but this didnt work out

gru1248

Thank you for your reply 

Jo_2022

Hello @MissMarple!  A warm welcome to you. I don’t have any personal experience of online dating sites, and I’m single and wouldn’t know where to start. I feel you could give it a go and see how things progress. Any luck since your last post? Take care