The Outsiders club

MissMarple

Is anyone currently a member of the Outsiders club? It has been mentioned in a few posts as recommended for friendship/dating with disabilities. I was just wondering if anyone has any recent experience.

janer1967

Hi there 

I joined a while ago buf never got ip and running b was too complicated to set up profile and see or contact others so gave up 

Danielle_2022

Hiya @MissMarple,
As with anything, I think there’s a lot of mixed experiences. Still, that’s not to say that it won’t be positive for you! It’s always worth a try because at least then you’ll know. You can always update here afterwards and I’ll do my best to find alternatives, if that would be most helpful

MissMarple

janer1967 said:

Hi there 

I joined a while ago buf never got ip and running b was too complicated to set up profile and see or contact others so gave up 

That doesn't sound too encouraging @janer1967 I definitely need something simple and user friendly.

MissMarple

Danielle_2022 said:

Hiya @MissMarple,
As with anything, I think there’s a lot of mixed experiences. Still, that’s not to say that it won’t be positive for you! It’s always worth a try because at least then you’ll know. You can always update here afterwards and I’ll do my best to find alternatives, if that would be most helpful

Thanks @Danielle_2022 I'm a bit hesitant about dating. I'd like to make new friends and possibly find someone special, but sometimes I feel that my health wouldn't make it possible to commit to anything. I often have to cancel arrangements or not make plans to begin with because I have no energy. My existing friends are thankfully very understanding, but I'm not sure how to be there for someone new consistently enough to build a relationship.

Danielle_2022

@MissMarple,
I totally understand your hesitancy about dating and I'm actually in the middle of writing a special Valentine's Day post for the community right now. It's a lot to handle, I know. First and foremost, your health is the top priority in all things & nothing is worth jeopardising that. However, I do think that the right people (friends or otherwise) would understand and respect your boundaries, as with your current social circle. Your health doesn't make you hard to love at all, it will just require a little extra patience sometimes. Besides, I think you'd be worth the wait! If you'd like to make more friends, I hope you know that the community here will welcome you with open arms

gru1248

I tried to join outsiders filled in all they ask could not log in afterwards 
dont no why so not bothering 

MissMarple

gru1248 said:

I tried to join outsiders filled in all they ask could not log in afterwards 
dont no why so not bothering 

I'm sorry to hear that. It is frustrating when technology doesn't work.

gru1248

Thank you not to worry thank you again 

emilia

Hi I'm interested in meeting people but can't seem to get to grips with online dating. If there is a dating group on here I would give it ago. Everyone seems very nice it's good for starters to find other things to know about. I have had no good experiences with dating because I'm not very good at talking to people and sometimes it's too much stress.  is the outsiders club a dating website? 

MissMarple

emilia said:

Hi I'm interested in meeting people but can't seem to get to grips with online dating. If there is a dating group on here I would give it ago. Everyone seems very nice it's good for starters to find other things to know about. I have had no good experiences with dating because I'm not very good at talking to people and sometimes it's too much stress.  is the outsiders club a dating website? 

Unfortunately Scope here doesn't have a dating feature. You are free to chat however, the coffee lounge is good for general chat. Obviously, we don't really know which members are looking for a relationship, their age, location etc. so this method is better suited for making online friends. I am not sure if starting a thread for singles only would be allowed within Scope's community guidelines. Perhaps an admin could advise on that, please? 

According to their website "Outsiders is a social, peer support and dating club, run by and for socially and physically disabled people."
 https://outsiders.org.uk/ It doesn't look like that it's been updated for a while though, that's why I asked for members' experience.

MissMarple

Libby_Scope said:

Hey @MissMarple

Like any new situation, there is always going to be a level of uncertainty but you just have to do what feels right for you. You know yourself better than anyone else  

I've just dug out an old thread from our Dating, Sex, and Relationships category, that might be helpful for you. It outlines a few other disabled dating sites, if that's something you want to pursue.

Please keep us updated and I hope things go well for you  

Libby

Thanks @Libby_Scope I'll check the sites mentioned in the thread.

Danielle_2022

Hiya @MissMarple,
Was just wondering if you'd made any progress with this since the last post?

gru1248

No tryed again still not working 

Danielle_2022

Hi there @gru1248,
I'm so sorry to hear that you're still having some issues. Is there anything in particular that you're finding difficult? I'd love to help, if I can! I just looked over the website and it seems that it might be getting an update, so perhaps that's the source of your problems.

gru1248

Could be but it’s been like it for a few weeks 
thank you for your help 

Danielle_2022

Hm. Have you been in touch with them directly about this? It looks like you can email members@outsiders.org.uk or call 07872 681 982. I really hope that you can get it sorted. In the meantime, do you know about Eventbrite? It's not necessarily for dating (though there are definitely events for that -- I just checked), but it could be a good way of starting to socialise with other people. Lots of free options, too

gru1248

Thank you for your help I’ll check it out 

Danielle_2022

@gru1248,
No problem at all, please let me know how you get on!

gru1248

Okay thank you 

MissMarple

Danielle_2022 said:

Hiya @MissMarple,
Was just wondering if you'd made any progress with this since the last post?

Hi @Danielle_2022 The Outsiders website seems to be under construction (plus given the discouraging experience of others), I didn't try that. I checked out some 'free' disabled dating sites, but all turned out not to be free in terms of you can register for free but to exchange messages with other members you'll need an upgrade. I think if I'm paying for the service anyway, it may be better to register on a generic site with much more members.

I, personally, would prefer a platform where single people could gather and chat without any pressure, form-filling etc. Say, something organised around hobbies, an activity. I know these things are available e.g. on Eventbrite as you mentioned, but those events attract a mixed group of people (rightly so) and it would actually be inappropriate for anyone to try to show interest in anyone else as that's not why people are there, the other person may not be interested in dating at all etc. I think it would be great to have a place where you can go knowing that everyone else there is single and open to meet new people.