Single mother with disability

Humaneyes78

Hi all 

wondering if anyone else is a single mother with a disability on here. Would love to chat about coping skills and not getting too overwhelmed. Xx 

janer1967

Hi and welcome to the community 

I am single disabled mum too . My son is 15 now so quite independent but he was only 10 when I became disabled one day I was fine the next disabled so was hell of an adjustment for us both 

I felt so guilty that I could no longer do the things together we wanted to 

He has been my rock and prob adjusted better than me . I owe him my life as he alerted 999 when I suddenly passed out and ended up in coma 

Happy to chat anytime 

Alex_Alumni

Hello @Humaneyes78 it's great to have you join the community. I hope you find it a supportive and welcoming place

I don't know if you know about Scope's support services for parents? It might be worth having a look at Navigate or Parents Connect to see if you're eligible for support. 

In the meantime, please don't hesitate to reach out, it can be really helpful to talk about things when we're feeling overwhelmed. 

SueHeath

Welcome@Humaneyes78 your in good hands with this site, hope you get chance to have a good look around 

SueHeath

janer1967 said:

Hi and welcome to the community 

I am single disabled mum too . My son is 15 now so quite independent but he was only 10 when I became disabled one day I was fine the next disabled so was hell of an adjustment for us both 

I felt so guilty that I could no longer do the things together we wanted to 

He has been my rock and prob adjusted better than me . I owe him my life as he alerted 999 when I suddenly passed out and ended up in coma 

Happy to chat anytime 

oh Janer that must of been awful for you and your son, i just don't know what to say, at least mine as come on over the years so i could ajust,  You certainly come over as if you've a justed well and are a rock for some of us 

janer1967

@SueHeath thanks for your kind words 

Believe me it took well over a year to feel more positive.  The turning point was moving to a bungalow with wheelchair access rather than being housebound 

It didnt help that my husband left me 6 months prior to becoming disabled so was already adjusting to that 

But I believe everything happens for a reason don't get me wrong I wish I wasn't disabled but some aspects of my life are now far better than they have ever been 

SueHeath

janer1967 said:

@SueHeath thanks for your kind words 

Believe me it took well over a year to feel more positive.  The turning point was moving to a bungalow with wheelchair access rather than being housebound 

It didnt help that my husband left me 6 months prior to becoming disabled so was already adjusting to that 

But I believe everything happens for a reason don't get me wrong I wish I wasn't disabled but some aspects of my life are now far better than they have ever been 

Bless you - i won't swear on here about your husband ha ha - i hope you have well and truly turned the corner-have you got friends or family living by you 

janer1967

@SueHeath I don't want to take over this thread and make it about me I will send you a pm if you are OK with that 

Humaneyes78

janer1967 said:

Hi and welcome to the community 

I am single disabled mum too . My son is 15 now so quite independent but he was only 10 when I became disabled one day I was fine the next disabled so was hell of an adjustment for us both 

I felt so guilty that I could no longer do the things together we wanted to 

He has been my rock and prob adjusted better than me . I owe him my life as he alerted 999 when I suddenly passed out and ended up in coma 

Happy to chat anytime 

Oh my … he seems like a
really responsible boy and a credit to you. I feel very guilty too on my daughter who’s only five feel like she really misses out on her mum. 

We do have a big fun family and people help us out. Sometimes it’s just hard personally to get my head around things. 

Thanks for your reply x x 

janer1967

Your welcome 

I totally understand after 5 she will adjust and will just be normal to her kids adjust very quick 

It's good you have good support network 
@SueHeath
My family all live about 25 miles away while they support me as much as they can it's just me and my son really . My bf is great but he works away most of the week 

Humaneyes78

Thank you for that, she’s pretty cool helps me load washing machine little jobs like that, what she actually enjoys doing 🙏🏽 Her dad was up and down emotionally couldn’t really handle the magnitude of the situation which is understandable. He was around until a few months ago. Then I had to call in the cavalry 😝 

oh I’m glad you have met someone to share your time with. Glad u have eachother. 

Xxxx

Danielle_2022

I'm not a disabled parent myself, but I'm so glad to see that you have found support in @janer1967. It sounds like you have both been doing wonderful jobs! I wonder if you've heard of Cathy Reay's work (see her Instagram page here)? Also, there's a new anthology of stories by disabled parents being released in March. Unfortunately, I can only find an Australian preorder link (here, if you want more information), but I'd say that it's definitely worth keeping an eye out for. I can personally vouch for some of the contributors and confirm their stories are empowering. To take inspiration from the book's title, you've got this and we're here to cheer you on from afar

Nicetomeetyou22

@Humaneyes78 hello 👋 I do hope you are well I'm not a single disabled parent but I do have health issues me and my partner have 6 children and 3 of them have disabilities if you ever want a chat or a bit of support please feel free to give me a shout 😊 

ProudMumForever

@Humaneyes78, good morning to you .
Im live alone with my 2 sons who are 15 and 25 (best sons in the world i might add !!) 🥰
A year ago i got diagnosed with depression,anxiety etc etc . 
 Im slowly learning to absorb the advice given to me sich as  "be kind to yourself" and "its ok not to be ok" . Some days are just overwhelming , and these are the days i try and reach out to others . Some days there arent enough hours in the day to be grateful for the small things people often take for granted. Youve already reached out .... now try and be kind to yourself . Take care .

Peace22

Hi,I've just joined and I'm a single parent . We are a few years down the line but I've learnt not to beat myself up and just let those emotions come and go, It took time mainly due to frustration. Be kind to yourself x 

Humaneyes78

Thanks everyone it’s lovey to hear from you, thanks for the kind words. Feels good to know I have support from this community. Xxx