Loneliness
Comments
-
The support within this thread reflects the supportive and friendly community we have. Thanks everyone for contributing to such a wonderful space!
1 -
I guess we’ve all felt alone in a room full of people, I know I have. So it’s possible to feel lonely surrounded by people too. Of course some people can cope with being alone without feeling lonely, I have thought about it quite a lot because I often have felt lonely in the past. My feeling is that you can never be anything but alone unless you merge with someone else which is impossible.
So I think that we are all always alone and nothing can be done about that. Once I accepted that simple fact I no longer felt alone, I made peace with myself on that aspect of living. I still have moments of feeling lonely but then I remind myself that it’s impossible not to be alone and the feelings of loneliness dissipate. This I think is dealing with the root of loneliness, which some people just won’t embrace. For those people joining clubs of various sorts can be the answer, or perhaps texting people can help momentarily but I think these things are sticking plasters when surgery is needed.
An individual is always alone even if in a close relationship, in those silent moments in the dead of night there is no one but you to chatter to. Accepting this is key I believe to beating loneliness. But we all have our different ideas on the subject I expect.4 -
You have posted a really powerful and thoughtful response @leeCal. It was particularly insightful to hear about your experiences and how you have dealt with it.
Thanks for sharing this with us. I am sure your response will help many of our community members
1 -
@wendy41 I am completely with you on that, I am very grateful to have found this friendly and non-judgemental forum for exactly that reason, I also used to be a keen cycler and walker, even doing London to Brighton, now I can't cycle up our road, I think this might be down to back surgery but can't get answers sadly, now mostly housebound since I gave up work 4 years ago0
-
@SueHeath Good Morning, thankyou I have lived near the sea all my life and love it (or used to when I was mobile)
No don't ever think you're being nosy, always happy to share my experience, I had surgery just over 30 years ago, I was so much better in some respects in that the daily sciatica disappeared, I don't know if same damage was done in surgery (they also tried epidural previous to that), the spinal stenosis (blocked spinal canal) returned or I had some permanent damage previous to surgery as it took them a very long time to do anything, my records state that the canal was bulging when they opened up.
I can't get answers from the few NHS MRIs I have had since other than 'nothing significant and a tarlov cyst which they are not concerned about.
So yes, I've now come to accept it is what it is, I would rather be like this than have the daily sciatica pain.
Have a good day0 -
Your not going to believe me @ByTheSea i have same condition but they would not operate, my spine was to unstable, at the moment i am waiting for this pain blocker they put under the skin.
I am so sorry the opp has left you like this, can you potter around.?0 -
@SueHeath Oh wow, really ? I am really sorry you are the same and that's sad they cannot operate, I hope you get some relief, yes I have been lucky to a point, gradually got worse over the years, I can still potter around but have so many other issues started alongside, it took me years to figure it out but I now suspect I have Ehlers' Danlos Syndrome, GP finally agreed when I put mine and family history in front of them but their answer was there is nothing we can do anyway.
I have always been very independent though and get very little help from family as they don't understand how bad I am, so I do try and cope with the house and garden, I think the answer is to try and keep as mobile as you can without overdoing it.
Do you manage to get around a bit still ?0 -
I feel lucky now i have spoken to you @ByTheSea i am glad i didn't have the opp it frightened me to death to be honest.
I get on fine, i'm very lucky my hubby is here to help, Doc at hospital is getting me to walk more (through the pain) as the disability and the one drug they have me on has made my weight balloon, nothing to do with the cakes i eat ha ha.
I finished work a year ago and i feel a lot better mentally as well for making that choice, i hated letting work down.0 -
@SueHeath I do hope I didn't make you feel worse !
Credit to your hubby, I divorced once, he was lacking in empathy and understanding along with other issues and not married again but happy as I am, ohh cakes ! Everything sweet used to be me but one thing I have done is cut gluten out as it's said to cause inflammation, I think it helps me (certainly with increasing gut symptoms too) I do still have a thing for chocolate but try to buy dark. I do also balloon easily though, one thing I have noticed is cheese tends to put weight on me, another of my comfort foods I have had to limit, are you a cheese lover ?
Good to hear you're feeling better since giving up work, I feel guilty on letting anyone down.0 -
you didn't make me feel worse at all @ByTheSea i did wonder how i would go on if i didn't have the opp, but it was all taken out of my hands and after reading about your experience i am glad i didn't, all be it things might be different with the process now. Yep i love cheese, but i am very good at portion control and i must admit i don't always feel hungry enough to eat when i should, but if i don't i know it makes the blotting worse or the urge to eat biscuits and cakes. Oh well no one is perfect ha ha as long as i can keep moving i think this is going to help me, my goal is to be able to walk 3-5 miles in a reasonable time, with out it totally knocking me off my feet with the pain. Can't see that working at the moment ha ha it's okay Docs saying to walk through the pain but my god does it hurt, hopfully i will achieve 1-2 miles ha ha .
Hope you have a great day.0 -
@SueHeath you might be right to have dodged it yes, particularly if on NHS, I think the technology etc has improved but the lack of funding for equipment, mistakes under pressure, sending you home to quick....
I think 1-2 miles is great, not sure that I agree with their pushing through the pain but lost all trust in doctors over the years, if you've got a good one though, go along with them as far as you can.
Portion control is good, something I completely ignored most of my life but learnt quickly on giving up work.
Have a great day too0 -
Ha ha tell me about i'm still finding things now that i didn't know about the forum, it's a great distraction thou.
Any problems just ask, some one is bound to be on line - enjoy.0 -
You are welcome @ByTheSea. It is the very least you deserve. If we can do anything to support you further please don't hesitate to let us know. We are all here for you 0
Categories
- All Categories
- 14.5K Start here and say hello!
- 7K Coffee lounge
- 77 Games den
- 1.6K People power
- 66 Announcements and information
- 22.7K Talk about life
- 5.2K Everyday life
- 116 Current affairs
- 2.3K Families and carers
- 844 Education and skills
- 1.8K Work
- 472 Money and bills
- 3.5K Housing and independent living
- 959 Transport and travel
- 676 Relationships
- 69 Sex and intimacy
- 1.4K Mental health and wellbeing
- 2.4K Talk about your impairment
- 854 Rare, invisible, and undiagnosed conditions
- 907 Neurological impairments and pain
- 2K Cerebral Palsy Network
- 1.2K Autism and neurodiversity
- 37.1K Talk about your benefits
- 5.7K Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
- 18.9K PIP, DLA, ADP and AA
- 7.2K Universal Credit (UC)
- 5.3K Benefits and income