Hi, my name is Ash6969! I struggle with my mental health, and might have autism

Ash6969

I'm self diagnosed after a psychiatrist pointed out I could be autistic. I've struggled with severe depression and my mental health for years. I'm no longer able to cope with my daughter or being a mum. After days of seeing or being around is so stressful I get overloaded then need 18 hours of down time and sleep because my brain is most overloaded and I'm overwhelmed. I NEED lots of me time...  winding down to relax after even just a few hours of being around someone. Music on and just listen for hours.. Feels good to just be me with music on. I can make myself feel grounded then and process things in my time. Non autistic people don't understand or even believe my feelings or me possibly being autistic is valid. They see me as selfish or will point out they have seen me doing something normal like drinking or getting a beauty treatment. However they don't realise or see the 5 hours preperation before hand or the 5 hours brain stiffness afterwards n my body just giving up and going to sleep. I think I'd benefit from stimulant medication but I'm struggling to obtain this from a doctor or even get a diagnosis. My scattered brain n being unable to focus is so bad I'm unable to even care for my child and everyone thinks that I'm selfish. 

The thing that bothers me is, if i don't have me time and leave it, i tend to get more and more agitated and not be able 2 go out or do anything. Is this normal to feel like this? The less me time i have, i tend to feel more numb with emotions. Seems kind of selfish when reading it back but I literally can not help it 

Libby_Alumni

Hello @Ash6969,

Welcome to the community and thank you for being so open and honest with us all. 

I'm sorry to hear that you've struggled with depression and your mental health for a while now, but it does sound as if you've got some really effective coping strategies in place, for when things get a little overwhelming. Does your GP currently know about your mental health concerns? If not, I think it would be a good idea to speak to them, to see what professional support they can offer you. 

You mentioned that;

My scattered brain n being unable to focus is so bad I'm unable to even care for my child and everyone thinks that I'm selfish. 

I just wondered how old your child is and if you get additional support from family and friends? You're not selfish at all and I understand completely about needing time to switch off to replenish ourselves. Ultimately, we can't give and support others, if we are drained and not rested. Personally, I sometimes just need some time alone to recharge, whether that be 5 minutes or a full day and it helps me in the long term. I've listed a few resources that I think will be beneficial for you moving forward. Please see them below:

• Self-care for mental health problems - Mind
• Mental health (autism.org.uk)
  
• Helplines - Mind
  

I hope the above help and please do let us know if there's anything else that we can do for you moving forward.

Take care now and we hope to speak to you soon.

Libby

Tori_Scope

Hi there @ash6969 I just wanted to check in with you today to see how you've been doing since you last posted on the community. How have things been? 

It sounds as though you have a lot on your plate at the moment, so please do let us know if there's anything we can do to help.