Nervous

66Mustang

Hi everyone,

Sorry for not posting on here for a while but I’ve been dealing with some anxiety for the last few days.

My family member who I have mentioned before who can be grumpy which causes me a lot of anxiety is coming to stay tomorrow and will be here until around Tuesday or Wednesday.

I’m really nervous and had a mini panic attack earlier today.

I’m doing the same as last time and ordering myself some treats to arrive after the event. Having the treats to look forward to really helped me get through it last time.

I wonder if there is any help available to deal with this issue though. It’s almost as though I have a phobia of any kind of conflict/argument/grumpiness. I am currently at a point where I can’t even watch things on TV which have arguments or conflict in them even though I know it isn’t real. Things such as the soaps or Dragons’ Den are the worst.

As advised by my psychiatrist, I am in the process of writing an email tactfully explaining my issues to my family member (in a nice way) but I won’t send it until they are feeling a bit better themselves as they are already quite low at the moment.

Ultimately I think it’s my issue to deal with though, it’s not for others to change, as there will always be conflict in the world, e.g. at a future workplace if/when I am able to work, and I need to learn to deal with it.

Just some random thoughts I wanted to share.

I hope everyone is OK today.

Thanks.

chiarieds

Hi @66Mustang - good to hear from you, & hope you're feeling a little better. I've read content on the following website before, which I find says a lot of common sense, with explanations, & ways to cope. Please have a look here:

https://www.blurtitout.org/2019/03/21/google-searches-why-does-social-anxiety/

https://www.blurtitout.org/?s=panic+attacks

I think the site is well worth looking around. I hope the visit goes well for you.

66Mustang

Thank you very much @chiarieds I’ll have a look at that site.

Good to hear from you as well, I hope you’re OK at the moment?

chiarieds

Thank you @66Mustang - I'm keeping well.

Sandy_123

Hi @66Mustang some good advice above, i agree about having your room to go to if you need to, great treats sound good too.

woodbine

@66Mustang always good to hear from you, I think if you have things that make you anxious and you can avoid them the best thing to do is whatever you need to do to avoid them/it.
I'm sure you know if you need to unload your anxiety we are always here to listen to you.

leeCal

I agree with @woodbine, as we get older we learn to avoid trigger situations better and sometimes we also learn how to cope with them too. I think that’s a compromise.

i used to get very anxious about social occasions, I’d imagine that nothing about me was going to be good enough, not clothes, not haircut, not looks, not even conversation. As I got older I realised that a lot of people feel the same way but persist, I’ve also learned that sometimes some people are truly very judgmental about me. Finally I’ve learned to avoid those situations or ignore my feelings about what others are thinking, I almost no longer care what others think because it’s beyond my control.

As for conflict, I avoid it generally and I agree it can be very upsetting. However if I’m annoyed enough I usually stand my own ground so to speak. 

Good luck @66Mustang 🙂

SueHeath

Hi @66Mustang great to hear from you.
I really do not think i can add anymore to the brilliant advise all the above have said. 
I just wanted to say hello and don't for get you can come and chat with us when the visitor gets to much, but do it in your own space as sometimes us oldies do not like the younger members of the family always being on their phone ha ha hope that makes sense. x

66Mustang

Thank you to everyone for all of the brilliant advice and support, and sorry for not replying sooner, I decided to have an early night yesterday.

The family member is going to be here any minute so I will be on and off here today I think.

Thanks again everybody.

chiarieds

Fingers crossed all goes well @66Mustang

Tori_Scope

Best wishes @66Mustang Please do let us know how you get on, and be sure to check in with us if you need a break from it all!

Alex_Alumni

Hi @66Mustang I hope things are going okay so far, it sounds like you're taking really positive steps to address your anxieties

It's hard work to work through anything challenging like this, so I'm pleased to see that sharing what's happening with the community is helping!

janer1967

Hi @66Mustang hope everything is going well and your coping OK and looking forward to your treats 

L_Volunteer

Hey @66Mustang

You have been really brave in trying to reach out for support here despite it not always being easy for you. Well done and thank you for keeping us up to date with how you are doing. I think it is really positive that you are able to identify what makes you feel anxious as well as some strategies for managing that anxiety. It is an understandably difficult situation. Have you been able to talk to anyone else about your panic attack and feelings about this visit?

In terms of help for dealing with conflict/arguments, there is quite a lot available and it will largely depend on the type of help you are hoping for. To get a glimpse of the help available, you could search "help for dealing with conflict". It sounds positive that you are already working with a psychiatrist on managing this though. How are you finding the support of the psychiatrist? 

Also, it has been a few days since your post so I have no doubt that you have had the visit already. How are you finding the visit? Please feel free to keep us updated on how things are going for you. We are here for you and always listening to you 

66Mustang

Thank you for the support everybody and sorry for not posting, I’ve been occupied for the last few days

It’s all done now but will be happening again at Easter…I will worry about that closer to the time

For now I’m looking forward to some treats…cheese & port…only a little cheese ordered as I’m on a diet.

66Mustang

Thank you @Teddybear12

ProudMumForever

Well done @66Mustang for coping with an obvious stressful time . You are stronger than you think . 
Now focus on yourself and youre wellbeing . Cheese and Port sounds like a perfect treat . Take care of yourself .

chiarieds

Great you've managed 66Mustang - well done. Enjoy your cheese & port; something my son likes too, tho usually just at Christmas time!

I hope all went well, & they weren't too grumpy, & that you can fully relax now.

SueHeath

Well done @66Mustang you did it !!!!!!

New you would, hope it wasn't as bad as you thought it might be - mmmmm port and cheese i would have to have a nice bit of stilton, mind you i do like a nice cheese board with grapes and walnuts yum yum.

So have you thought about what treat your having after Easter visit x

66Mustang

Thanks very much @ProudMumForever and @chiarieds your kind words mean a lot to me and I really appreciate them.

@SueHeath I’m hoping if I’m good won’t need to buy myself any treats after Easter, as may have one or two chocolates to eat

SueHeath

66Mustang said:

Thanks very much @ProudMumForever and @chiarieds your kind words mean a lot to me and I really appreciate them.

@SueHeath I’m hoping if I’m good won’t need to buy myself any treats after Easter, as may have one or two chocolates to eat

Oh no thats not right ha ha ha get a nice treat i'm liking that - doesn't have to be food - have a think thats your challenge ha ha x