Paying for dads care.

songsofsoul

Hello my name is S I'm 35. 

Is be really grateful to anyone who could help me make any sense of this new situation I could be in. Thank You 

My dad has vascular dementia from strokes. His mum whose house he lives in recently died.

It was in my nans will for my uncle to take care of my dad with the sale of the house. He now wants to change the will to 50 per cent to me and my brother with us then becoming financially responsible for my dads care.

I don't want my dad to go into a care home as he is difficult. I would rather buy him a home or rent him somewhere and use the inheritance to do so.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to take on this responsibility- financially - I work minimum wage - I have no assets 

Please can you advise me as to how to take care of my dad the best I can. 

The most affordable way and what do I need to find out in order to make the best decision for myself - then my brother and relationship with them and my dads care.

I want to have more control and say in his care and care for him basically but don’t know how to pay for it or what it could cost - 

As this hasn’t been my responsibility before I don’t know what I need to do or to find out 

please could you advise me 

songsofsoul

Yes. They have court of protection so can sell the house and have started the process of applying for probate to sell the house.

I need to know - what do i need to know in order to care for my dad

re. Above.

How could I pay for his care costs - and be responsible for them ?

 Thank You 

songsofsoul

Thank you - thank you 

SueHeath

Hi @songsofsoul sorry to read what you posted Teddybear and woodbine are great with there advise.
We as a family are in the process of having Dad put in a nursing home.
He is 95yrs and has had Dementia for a few years now, but he has suddenly got really bad, bless him. We have tried to care for him at home but its to much now and he's become a night walker and can be agressive now, not his fault, it must be very frustrating for people with dementia, i wish i could see inside his head.

Any way our Dad as enough money for about 2 years of self funding for his care home, so with that in mind we are trying to find some were that do both self funding and state funded because we do not want to have his life disrupted if he has to move again. We look at it as its Dads money and he can have the best home he can afford, but we are talking a lot of money it has opened my eye's i tell you. At the moment we are down to 2 homes that will except Dad, i will warn you if you paying for Dads care in nursing home it's a minimum of £1000 a week.

songsofsoul

Hi Sue I might have some insight for you ~ my dad is 60)

I have worked as a carer in dementia and have worked in a ‘bad home’ CQC rating was still ‘good’ and ‘the best’ home and now I do the activities role in a care home where it is what is is but generally the residents have the most smiles and contentment. 

where I am now it has reviews from the residents and family who say they are happiest there - but care is care wherever it is - it attracts some odd people - and some people who care - others it is a job. You’ll find them all the same place wherever that is - You must know this from your own experience! 

if your dad has late stage dementia and is aggressive he would be on a ward that is for those stages - so bear in mind where you are shown round might not be where he would be - 

well done for doing your best that’s all you can do - fortunately there is a beauty in dementia which means forgetting and being in a new moment - and also they recieve painkillers - 

I currently am wondering how to pay for my dads care - like you I’d rather he was at home for as long as possible until or if it became a stage where that is the only realistic option like yourself xx 

if you had any insight or direction as to who I could contact on how to pay for his care I’d be ever so grateful x 

SueHeath

Hi @songsofsoul yep i have heard some stories.
Dads social worker is the one thats been keeping us up to date on things - when Dad goes into the 4 week assessment home apparently they go through all the finance side with you and tell you if there are any none means testing that Dad/us can claim for.
You can find a lot of help on the Webb aswel.