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Hi, my name is Sarahbox! Need some advice on how to deal with my husband

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Sarahbox
Sarahbox Community member Posts: 1 Listener
Hi. I am new here, but I need some advice on how to deal with my Husband. He has had Right hemiplegia since birth. (traumatic breach delivery) which resulted in his right side leg and arm being bent backwards. He spent many years having all of this operated on and now he can live a reasonably normal life. He can work and drive a car. My Problem is that as he is getting older he is getting more and more frustrated that he can only use one hand and he is very prone to mood swings. I find myself walking on egg shells especially if things go wrong and at times his moods have got so dark I have had to walk away. Other times he is as lovely as the day I fell in love with him. A few years ago he got so stressed over work issues that he ended up having a fit and while he was in hospital they did a scan and discovered part of his brain was greyed out. I get it completely with the physical side of things, I just really struggle with the mental side of it. It feels like if he is stressed or tired, he can have bouts of depression. I was just wondering if anyone else lived with someone who was like this and how they deal with it.

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  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @Sarahbox and welcome to the community, it's lovely to see you join us. 

    Sorry to hear of the situation you are in, nobody should have to feel as though they are walking on eggshells when with a loved one. 

    Have you ever spoken to him about how you feel when he is in a low mood? Have you told him that you sometimes feel as though you are walking on eggshells? Perhaps he doesn't realise how his behaviour is impacting you and speaking to him might help him to alter how he reacts when things don't go too well. 

    Is he receiving any support to manage his mental health? It does appear as though he has been through a lot and it's a shame that things are impacting his mental well-being to such an extent, but of course him not having effective techniques to manage his mental health is also resulting in it impacting you too. If he hasn't, it could be worth speaking with his GP about it to see if any support can be provided, it can be hard to accept not being able to do certain things so I can understand why he might be frustrated at that, but it's important to access support to help manage those feelings if they are having a knock on impact on loved ones.

    Some form of couples therapy could be a useful outlet for you to talk about your concerns in an open and none-judgemental environment, so perhaps another thing to consider :) 
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