Pride Month - Coming Out

JustPete

With it being Pride Month, what have your experiences been around

• discovering your sexuality and working out who you are
• coming-out as sexual (as this is often overlooked when you are disabled)
• coming-out as gay/straight/bi.........
• being able to form relationships

As allies to disabled people (parents/friends/professionals)

• how have you encouraged and supported people to express their sexuality

How far do we need to still go to enable every disabled person access to their own sexuality discovery?

Steve_in_The_City

I came out in 1970, a month or two short of my 14th birthday. Back then, it wasn't quite the thing to do! I have been out ever since and have met with very little discrimination, and when it has happened (and its been some years since I was last discriminated againt) I always knew what to say to make the other person feel stupid. Coming out empowers you. It means you've got nothing to hide and nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. Some people may give you a rough ride but by and large I have always found people to be supportive and understanding. I think I should say that what I am about to relate happened when I was able bodied. I did not become physically disabled until 2016.

When I was 16 I was involved with The Gay Liberation Front (GLF) and the police were always milling around. I was asked to work on Gay Switchboard to advise youngsters, many of whom felt like lost souls and misfits. They were terrified that family and friends would find out. At about this time I went on my one and only Pride March. I think it may have been the 2nd ever Pride march, I am not sure. The police who escorted us outnumbered the marchers.

I have helped a few people leave the closet.This is usually because they see how well I mix with all types of people, so take their first steps - it is not because I cajole them. Sometime in the 1980's I was on a cruise with my partner. The members of a straight American dating agency befriended us and we had to participate in their activities. I got on particularly well with a fireman who was about 10 to 15  years my senior and spent quite a bit of time with him. He lived at home with his mother who was ill. At the end of the cruise the lady who was in charge of the group brought out a massive video recorder and asked us all to say a few words about we had learned from the experience. When the fireman spoke he said he had learnt a lot from me about being yourself. He said his mother wasn't ill, he used it as an excuse for still living at home. He said he was done with passing himself off as straight. He was in love with another fireman and when he returned to work he was going to tell him. I've never known anyone to come out in front of a video camera, but he did! Everyone around the table clapped him. It was quite emotional. Well, I hope these days that no-one feels the need to hide, but I fear perhaps that people still do.

Ross_Alumni

Thank you very much for sharing your experience @Steve_in_The_City