Anyone in the same situation? My little boy is not speaking and doesnt sleep

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harrysmum16

Hi everyone, I’m be here just reaching out for some support, chat, advice anything really. I’m a mum to 1, little boy 3 and a half. He has additional needs, no diagnosis as of yet. He is not speaking, doesn’t sleep and doesn’t follow any kind of instruction. 

I guess I’m just looking for people in the same situation because I’m really struggling. I work nights at home from 21:00 until 3:00 and my child has recently just became so difficult. He will not sleep until at least midnight, to the point he can’t keep his eyes open anymore, used to be a great sleeper in his cot but had to get rid because he could get out of it. 

We are in a 1 bed flat at the minute, his dad works away and comes back 3 weekends a month so no extra support in the evenings at all. 

We have just bought a house and he will have his own room soon enough but at the minute I just felt like I have no control at all over him, he doesn’t listen, laughs when I shout at him when he’s doing dangerous things. 

He is like a different child at the childminders and I just feel like it must be me doing something wrong, I really am struggling to cope right now, like I don’t have 1 minute to myself ever and can’t communicate apart from very basic things with my own child. 

Sue_Alumni

Hello harrysmum16 and welcome to the online community.   I am a mum and a nana and I know that so much of what you have said will resound with our members in our community.  I remember with my own children they were all angels with the child minder and then complete monsters as soon as I got them home.

I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling and you sound completely exhausted.  Has your childminder or have your friends and family ever remarked on your child’s behaviour? Sometimes friends and especially your family find it difficult to say things (or sometimes they are too ready to give an opinion) but your childminder should be aware and tell you if they had any concerns. How does he behave at the child minder? Does he eat, co-operate in getting dressed engage with the other children and the child minder. 

If you think something is not quite right my advice as a mum is to follow your instincts and try to get it checked out. 

I think you should speak to your GP and Health visitor and get a needs assessment referral for your son you should also try and get support for you as well. 

It is not necessary to have a specific diagnosis to be entitled to DLA.  You do need to show that your child has needs which are significantly in excess of those of other children of the same age. If you think this might be the case, speak to family and friends who know your little boy to get some evidence together.  Also prepare a diary for a period over a couple of months or so to illustrate his behaviour and his needs on a daily basis.

This is a very supportive and welcoming site to be a part of so I’m hopeful that you’ll find it to be a positive outlet. Feel free to have a look around and get involved wherever you’d like 😊 I have included below a few of the pages I’d recommend having a look through to get used to things:

· The virtual coffee lounge which is one of our categories, in which we play games and talk about general subjects such as hobbies and interests

· The recent discussions page, which shows an overview of everything happening across the community

· The categories page, which shows a full list of discussion groups on the community.

finally I've tweaked the tile to your post slightly to make it more visible to other members of the community who may be in a similar position as you. 

If you have any questions at all then don’t hesitate to ask.

Take care 

Sue