Wife wants me to leave

Wibbles

My wife /carer of 20 years has just asked me to leave the marital home - I am unable to walk or speak or do virtually anything.

She wants me out today - I have nowhere to go

She has cared for me for 20 years without a break

I own the house and my wife is financially dependant on me.

What is the standard procedure at a time like this ?

Wibbles

She is angry with me for something that I have no control over
I have Parkinsons amongst other problems 

She really suffers from anger issues and wants me to leave TODAY !

COVID has meant that she has been unable to visit her parents (who live 150 miles away) for almost three years - her dad is 93 and not in the best of health - and now, when we are clear to go - HER cat is ill and needs medication twice a day - so we are unable to leave him.....

She blames me for decisions that I made 18 years ago - when I had an opportunity to move house closer to her parents and decided at the time to stay put - I own the house !

Wibbles

This is where the council have failed me - I asked for a care needs assessment - and I have been ignored

My wife needs a carers assessment as well - but I don't think that she will accept one

bg844

I think it’s very unreasonable to expect you to move out straightaway, maybe different bedrooms. It’s your house too.

elizabeth01

Wibbles said:

My wife /carer of 20 years has just asked me to leave the marital home - I am unable to walk or speak or do virtually anything.

She wants me out today - I have nowhere to go

She has cared for me for 20 years without a break

I own the house and my wife is financially dependant on me.

What is the standard procedure at a time like this ?

I advise you ring citizens advice, you have rights in this matter, you can find additional info and what they advise here: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/if-you-were-living-together/your-ex-partner-is-trying-to-make-you-leave. 

SueHeath

Hi @Wibbles I am really sorry to hear this.
Do you have a young family ? If not why should you go !!!!!! 

Wibbles

SueHeath said:

Hi @Wibbles I am really sorry to hear this.
Do you have a young family ? If not why should you go !!!!!! 

No family at all
In any case she's calmed down today
I'm staying put
Why do they always assume that the person in trouble is female? Last time I looked I was male 

SueHeath

Sounds like she was on one ha ha yep keep your head down, only you know how bad things are behind closed doors.
I still think you both need to sit and talk about things calmly, has she ever seen anyone about her anger issues ?

Cartini

I`m sorry, but I fail to understand why, if you own the house, can`t talk and are unable to do pretty much anything, why you should leave the house.  If you own it, she should be leaving. 

If I were in that position, I`d pay for her train ticket (or whichever suitable transport) to her parents and tell her she can leave.

Wibbles

Cartini said:

I`m sorry, but I fail to understand why, if you own the house, can`t talk and are unable to do pretty much anything, why you should leave the house.  If you own it, she should be leaving. 

If I were in that position, I`d pay for her train ticket (or whichever suitable transport) to her parents and tell her she can leave.

Exactly 

Spoonie_Naila

Hi @Wibbles so sorry you’re going through this. Relationship ‘road bumps’ happen to us all. I really hope you can work through this together. Have you thought about contacting Relate, or any other type of relationship counselling? It might be what you both need to help you move forward. Wishing you all the best xx

poppy123456

Wibbles said:

SueHeath said:

Hi @Wibbles I am really sorry to hear this.
Do you have a young family ? If not why should you go !!!!!! 

No family at all
In any case she's calmed down today
I'm staying put
Why do they always assume that the person in trouble is female? Last time I looked I was male 

I don't see that Sue mentioned anything about you being female. She asked if you have a young family. You can have a young family whether you're male or female.

Wibbles

poppy123456 said:

Wibbles said:

SueHeath said:

Hi @Wibbles I am really sorry to hear this.
Do you have a young family ? If not why should you go !!!!!! 

No family at all
In any case she's calmed down today
I'm staying put
Why do they always assume that the person in trouble is female? Last time I looked I was male 

I don't see that Sue mentioned anything about you being female. She asked if you have a young family. You can have a young family whether you're male or female.

I meant Elizabeth01 a link
Have you seen what it says? 

poppy123456

Wibbles said:

poppy123456 said:

Wibbles said:

SueHeath said:

Hi @Wibbles I am really sorry to hear this.
Do you have a young family ? If not why should you go !!!!!! 

No family at all
In any case she's calmed down today
I'm staying put
Why do they always assume that the person in trouble is female? Last time I looked I was male 

I don't see that Sue mentioned anything about you being female. She asked if you have a young family. You can have a young family whether you're male or female.

I meant Elizabeth01 a link
Have you seen what it says? 

I did yes and it mentions men as well as women. It gives information on what to do whatever gender you are. 

You quoted Sue’s comment which was why I commented what I did. 

Sandy_123

Hi @Wibbles sorry your having problems, if you own the house then you don't need to leave it. Sounds like your wife might want to go see her parents and sort things out there, but stuck with all the obstacles that's been in the way like covic etc, now the cat. Is there anyone that can help with the cat? 

Wibbles

In case anyone was concerned - things are now back to normal again !!

SueHeath

I was concerned @Wibbles i don't like to hear of people going through bad time at home, especially when there is someone whose health is bad. 
Did you both manage to talk things through or just got back to norm ? x

Wibbles

SueHeath said:

I was concerned @Wibbles i don't like to hear of people going through bad time at home, especially when there is someone whose health is bad. 
Did you both manage to talk things through or just got back to norm ? x

No things just went back to normal 

SueHeath

So nothing resolved - things can be so frustrating sometimes - hope your both okay anyway.

Sandy_123

Good news @Wibbles, maybe a bunch of flowers lol

Wibbles

Sandy_123 said:

Good news @Wibbles, maybe a bunch of flowers lol

Good idea thanks