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Regmo
Regmo Online Community Member Posts: 2 Listener
I'm disabled, live in California, and I live in a group home.  My environment is toxic. I used to have a normal job and be a productive member of society but I was injured in an accident. I used to have a lot of friends but they gave up on me a long time ago. I'm a chronic pain patient and my doctor won't give me any pain meds or muscle relaxers. My mother was a narcissist.  I was in therapy for two years but I stopped because it wasn't helping. My clinic only does short term therapy anyways.  My insurance won't pay for the type of therapy that I need. I'm so talented and I'm wasting my life away in front of the TV set. I have a lot of friends in the chat room.  I just wish somehow I could have those same kind of friends in real life.

Comments

  • iza
    iza Scope Member Posts: 695 Empowering
    edited September 2022
    Hi @Regmo welcome to the Scope community. 
    I do understand you and indeed the life changes sometimes after serious illness or accident. And yes it is hard to keep up with healthy people. ( They usually are very active and sometimes scared of those who are I’ll because they do not know how simple help). But try to look from different angle for your current situation. If you out of work and house bond simply see yourself as a lucky one. You got an early retirement and have more fee time to do what you really want to do. You can use your free time very productively too. You can volunteer online, you can create canvas  painting 🖼, you can write down your life story and do whatever you always wanted to do before. There is so much you can still do so please do not see yourself outcasted. I know that it is hard to accept life changes especially when you were very active previously and now you feel like on the swing. One day is fine the other day knock you down and you simply lie down. Don’t worry 😉. You simply need to relax. Do what you can do and that is fine too. 
  • iza
    iza Scope Member Posts: 695 Empowering
    edited September 2022
    Please do not think too much about your mum. No matter what she did or she didn’t do it in life, what person she was or she wasn’t remember she gave you a life and that is already a miracle (you are the miracle so look after yourself the best you can).
    You cannot change past, you have to live  here and now and create dreams for tomorrow so do it. 
  • SueHeath
    SueHeath Online Community Member Posts: 12,388 Championing
    Hello from England @Regmo
    Welcome to our great group.
    Reading your post as made me feel grateful that i live in England. our waiting lists are long at the moment, but i can only imagine how hard things would be if we had to have insurance.
    When your ready have a good look around the site, i know it's virtual but i some times forget that when i get involved with the chats/debates.
    Any problems just ask some one is bound to be on line.
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,451 Championing
    edited September 2022
    Welcome to the community @regmo :) It's great to have you on board!

    We're a charity based in England and Wales, but you're welcome to post and comment here if you'd like. We're a friendly bunch, with a range of experiences to share.

    I'm sorry to hear that you feel as though your environment is toxic at the moment. It sounds as though you've been through a lot.

    Has your doctor given an explanation as to why they won't give you pain medication or muscle relaxants? 

    P.S. It looks like you had a bit of trouble posting at first. I've removed your duplicate posts, and kept this one, to avoid any confusion :)